10.

-HER-

I tried to move my lips against his but he was too busy shoving his tongue forcefully in my mouth. At one point, I had to give up and sit still while he kissed me.

I tried to tell myself constantly that I enjoyed it but I knew deeply that I didn’t enjoy it at all. Even a bit. Instead, my mind kept replaying the kiss that I had with Theodore some nights back. It was real and steamy. I was out of breath when he was finally down with me.

Now when I looked back at it, I realized that I enjoyed it very much. I doubted that I could ever be kissed like that again by anyone other than the guy with horns.

“Derek...” I had to push him back at one point when he had my face in his hands and was trying to shove his tongue deeper into my throat. I was somewhat disgusted by it but I didn’t admit it out loud.

“I really wish she was here,” He muttered more to himself, not taking his hands off mine.

“You two should talk about your pro-“

“I try to but she never listens to me,” He interrupted me with a whine. His tone suggested away the same frustration and anger as that of his words.

“I think I don’t want to be with her anyone. I want to end it with her. I want to be with you instead,” My heart leapt out of my chest when he said that. It was the first time when he was admitting that he wanted me back and I was somewhat happy about it. My dedication seemed to be paying off. I was finally going to get what I always wanted, right?

Meanwhile, I watched him eyeing my body before a frown climbed on his face. He didn’t look pleased. I was confused as to what was it that had made him react like that. I looked down at myself and instantly felt self-conscious.

“Do you really want to be with me, Derek? Are you really going to end a three years long relationship to be with me?” I asked him and he sighed before taking out his phone and checking it randomly. Meanwhile, I waited for him to answer my question but he never did.

I kept staring at him, waiting for a response.

“You love Amanda. Don’t you?” I asked him after some moments. This time he finally looked up at me.

“What were you saying?” He asked me with a look of annoyance decorating his face. The tone of his voice hinted away the same as well. I took a deep breath before I asked him again, “You love Amanda. Don’t you?”

He rolled his eyes at me in response before glancing at his phone again. He seemed to be more interested in that device than me but I waited for him patiently. It was after some moments when he was finally reminded of my presence.

He groaned before answering, “Look, I don’t think you’d understand what it’s like because you’ve never dated anyone or loved anyone deeply in your entire life. It’s hard… you know. I am trying my best to cope with it. All I am expecting from you is a little bit of patience,” he spoke belittlingly.

“Okay,” I mumbled. It was all I could say. The rest of the night I spent with him staring at his television screen, pretending to watch the movie.

“Could you order something? I am hungry,” He told me when the movie was almost going to end.

“I thought you were supposed to do that,” I grumbled and he instantly frowned at me.

“I don't have money to spend tonight. Please order something… or gimme your phone. I will choose what to order,” He said, reaching for my phone. I handed it to him without saying much. I stared at him as he fiddled with my phone.

“Here… enter your pin,” He said while handing me my phone back to me. I didn’t care to see the amount that I needed to pay. I entered my card details blindly before confirming the order.

“So, what are you going to do while Amanda is not here,” I inquired after ordering the food.

“I don’t know,” He shrugged before turning to me, “I am sure you’ll keep me company since you’re my really good friend,” He placed one of his hands on my thighs as he said that. I instantly cringed. I couldn’t decide whether it was due to the fact that his hand wasn’t as big as Theodore’s or if it didn’t belong to Theodore in the first place.

“Okay,” I mumbled as I looked back at the television. I pretended to be interested in the movie until it ended. I watched him warily from the corner of my eyes before I asked him, “You’re going to talk to Amanda when she is here, right?”

He gave me a plain stare. I could see it written on his face that my questions annoyed him, “That’s what I plan to do," He muttered.

“Is there any possibility of you two making up?” I continued to question him even though I knew that it bothered him. I just wanted to make things clear with him. Even though I was somewhat happy, I couldn’t believe that he had decided to leave Amanda so easily.

“I don’t know,” He shrugged dismissingly. I continued to stare at him, for him to give me an explanation but he just took out his phone again and got busy with it. I got the clue that he needed some moments to be alone.

“Can I have some cigarettes?” I asked him instead and he shook his head at me, “You should’ve brought your own,” He instantly snatched the cigarette pack from my hands. I knew he didn’t like sharing his cigarettes. I rolled my eyes at him before I stood up from the couch and walk to the balcony.

It was windy tonight. The possibilities of raining clouded the sky in the form of dark clouds. I leaned on the balcony railing and looked at the city view in front of me while I listened to him talking on his phone inside.

“Anna!” He called out for me after some moments. I sighed before walking back into his living room.

“What?” I asked as I collapsed back on his couch.

“No, no, no, get up. I need you to leave now. Some of my friends are coming. They’ll be here any moment now,” He said while tugging my hand and motioning me to get up. I scoffed at him.

“But I ordered food for us,” I reminded him.

“Yeah, thanks for that but you have to leave now. My friends don’t need to see you,” He said while pushing me out of his apartment.

“Derek, I-“ Before I could say anything, he shut the door on my face. I ground my teeth and left with my face painted with humiliation.
....

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