16.

-HER-

I got inside my car after he was gone. Instead of driving home, I waited in my car, listening to some songs. I knew Derek was still inside the pub, texting Amanda or god knew what.

I didn’t know how long I was sitting alone in the car but slowly, the effect of alcohol was wearing off. I only had a couple of shots anyway. I texted Derek if he wanted to go home soon. When he didn’t answer, I ended up going inside again.

I caught him at the bar drinking and stuck to his phone as usual. I approached him with a deep frown. He made me pay for his drinks before we finally walked out of the bar. I knew he was somewhat drunk.

After we got into the car and I started the engine, he gave me the news, “Amanda is coming back in a couple of days,”

I clutched the steering wheel tight but I kept my gaze ahead and continued to drive calmly.

“That’s great. Is she coming here to get her things back?” I asked him calmly even though I already knew his answer. I was aware of their patterns. I knew why Amanda was coming back and getting her things back wasn’t the reason behind it at all.

“We’re back together, Anna,” Derek told me. I nodded, finally able to spot the similar pattern again. I was familiar to it and over time, had gotten used to it but I didn’t know if I could take it well this time.

“Congratulations, Derek. I am happy for you,” I told him, as a friend ought to. Although, deep down I was jealous. I was screaming internally. I felt robbed again but the sane part of me was there to remind me instantly that I had put myself in such position and that it was all my fault.

“No, you’re not. You’re never happy when she’s around,” Derek accused instead. His eyes were set on me as he added, “You are jealous of her, aren’t you? You know you can never be like her,” He spoke as he placed his hand on my shoulder heavily.

I ground my teeth because it was the second time tonight when a man was confronting me about being jealous of their women. If I thought that this night couldn’t get enough worse then I was wrong. So damn wrong.

“Say it, Anna,” He grumbled, his fingers were digging into my shoulder slowly while I tried to concentrate on the road ahead.

“Derek, I am driving,” I told him, taking his hand off my shoulder but his hand found my thigh next. I was starting to hate his touch. I wanted to slap his hand away from my body but at the same time, didn’t want to be rude to him.

“Say it, Anna. Don’t try to change the topic,” His fingers dug into my thighs next but I clutched the steering wheel tightly to contain myself from doing anything that might make him upset. Although he continued, “I know you secretly compete with my girl. You wish to be mine but you know that you’ll never meet my standards,”

I slammed the breaks at his words before gritting out, “We are at your place. Have a good night,” I told him while I unlocked the doors.

“I’m not going to leave you until you accept that you don’t like Amanda,” He stated.

“And what will you get from that?” I asked him.

“It’s fun to know that you’re jealous of her because she’s with me,” He smirked with those words. I gulped before I told him, “I have never met Amanda so I cannot pass any judgments on her-“

“Oh, shut up, you bitch!” He yelled at me all of a sudden, “Your nice words aren’t going to get you anywhere. Just accept what I said. We both know that I am right!” He gritted nastily. I was left staring at him. I was familiar with his drunken side but I never knew that he could get to this extent.

“You’re drunk, Derek. I’ll see you later,” I told him while undoing his seat belt. He sat glaring at me instead. I was taken by surprise when he wrapped his fingers around my throat and almost slammed me in my seat. My eyes were wide when I realized that he was trying to choke me.

Without thinking much, I punched him straight in his face before he collapsed back towards the door on his side. Before he could react, I reached behind him and opened the door slightly. After that, his weight was enough for the door to open before he fell off the car.

“OWW!” He screamed but I didn’t reach out to help him. I grounded my teeth and blinked back my angry tears as I reached for the door and closed it behind him. Without saying anything next, I drove off home. I tried to contain my tears but thought it better to cry by myself in the car than crying around Nana.

I didn’t want to upset her. Deep down I knew that she was damn right about Derek but I always wanted to prove her wrong. In the end, I was getting hurt severely but I felt stuck on him. I couldn’t move on from him no matter how uglier he turned day by day. What kind of attachment was it?

I drove home accompanied by my sobs and the self-loathing that had been accumulating inside me for a long time now. I made sure not to make a single noise as I entered my apartment. It was already pretty late and I was expecting Nana to be asleep but I found her in the living room, reading a book instead.

“You’re back,” She stated, looking at me from the top of her glasses. The rest of the lights in the apartment was off. Only a single reading lamp sat lit by Nana. As I stood there and stared at her for some seconds, she seemed different. I couldn’t tell how.

She looked much younger to start with while there was something that seemed so eerie about her, it almost sent a shiver down my spine. Maybe I was thinking too much or maybe it was due to me being drunk. I shook my head and nodded at her lightly.

“You’ve been going out too much lately,” She noted as I moved towards the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.

“I am not a teenager anymore. I can go out as much as I want,” I told her and heard her make a sound of disapproval.

“You know what I mean. You’ve been going out this frequently after almost a month,” She spoke behind me. I emptied my glass of water before I turned her face her again. She stood eerily in the dark, the lamp cast shadows on her face, making her look somewhat scary.

“Turn on the light first for Christ’s sake,” I grunted as I first lit the living room before I went into my bedroom. Although I heard her speak behind me, “I was talking to you,”

“I figured out that I need to get out more to get someone. Don’t want to die alone like you,” I spoke clearly from my room before I stepped into the shower.

“We are supposed to end up alone, Anna. It’s been our legacy forever,” I thought I heard her speak outside but I didn’t pay much attention to it. When I stepped out of the shower, she had finally gone to bed.

I went to bed soon but as a habit, I stayed up late, scrolling through my social media feed. As a routine, I soon found myself on Amanda’s page. Her latest post was a picture with Derek, just a couple of hours ago. Above the picture, she had written that she was finally back with him and was excited to meet him again.

That was enough for me to keep my phone away and cry myself silently to sleep. Slowly, the guilt of what had happened tonight was starting to make its presence known to me.