Chapter 35

A clear head. Cara had a clear head. The time in Vegas had done her some good, even though she could hardly stop thinking about everything that happened. She had left everything in such a mess and expected to come back home to something worse. But it seemed like Alexander was determined to keep the wedding going. Nobody knew.

It was as if nothing had happened.

Except for the people involved, Malory and Jean. Alexander had apparently gotten to Jean and made her stay quiet, Cara didn't know what he told her, but Jean had not been able to look Cara directly in the eye after the conversation they had. Cara wasn't too eager to ask either, she was just relieved that she didn't have to deal with Jean's antics anymore.

Malory had fought hard to make the bachelorette getaway to be memorable enough to make Cara forget all her woes. And while it had been memorable, it wasn't enough to make Cara forget all her woes.

Nicholas had tried to reach her, she had blocked his number everywhere. He was the one that got her in the mess in the first place. Her carelessness and stupidity. If she had not been gallivanting around with her fiance's brother, she wouldn't be in so much trouble the first place.

She didn't want to as much as lay her eyes on him, lest she made things worse with Alexander.

She had thought things through, thoroughly. There was no other way. She had no choice but to go through with the wedding and hope that Alexander forgive her for all that she had done. Hopefully they'll move past it without involving the media or ruining her family's name.

She couldn't afford to be selfish and unreasonable, her parents name, their company that was all they had and they were at risk of losing it all.

She had no other choice.

"I can see you're back to your senses."

Alexander said after the wedding planner left them after they went over the details. Cara smiled tightly.

"I don't know what you mean by that."

Alexander shrugged.

"While you were away in Vegas I've been here cleaning up all the mess you've been making. It hasn't been that easy."

"Nobody except Jean knew. I don't think you had that much mess to clean up."

She retorted and Alexander raised his eyebrows.

"You might want to tone down that attitude you have. It won't help you much. Get ready, you'll be coming over for dinner this evening."

Cara felt a knot in her stomach. Did he tell her?

Oh she couldn't know for sure but Alexander was practically joined to his parents' side. He told them everything and he did nothing without their consent, she wouldn't be surprised if he had told them what happened.

"Don't worry. I haven't told them anything yet. I might... But I don't think they need to know."

"What do you think?"

Alexander asked as he stood in front of her with his arms crossed and Cara shrugged.

"You can do whatever you want Alex."

Alexander smirked and then he nodded his head.

"Yes. I certainly can."

He left her alone for a while and Cara tried to get some work done but concentrating was hard. She decided to text Malory but remembered that Malory was of course still angry at her and had avoided the issue throughout their Vegas trip.

She has chose to have fun instead and Cara didn't blame her.

It wasn't her burden.

But still, she would like to talk to someone, anyone.

Anyone but Nicholas.

"I'm so glad you came."

Cara said in the quaint little coffee shop that she and Malory had decided to meet. Malory nodded.

"Yes, I suppose we do need to talk. Why didn't we meet at your apartment?"

She asked and Cara shrugged.

"I just needed a bit of fresh air, had to get away somehow."

She said as she drew her coffee mug near, her palms wrapping around it for more warmth.

Malory smiled.

"Did you enjoy your bachelorette party? The girls certainly did. Can't be too sure about Jean though."

Cara nodded.

"You did a great job."

"I was thinking we'd talk during the trip but we didn't get the chance to."

She added and Malory nodded.

"Yea. We didn't. I don't know Cara, everything you told me that night... I was just so shocked. How didn't I see it?"

Malory shrugged. It was true, she didn't know how she could have missed it all, perhaps if she had figured it all earlier she could have stopped the situation from escalating.

"And why? Why did you continue to see him even after the first time?"

"I don't know Mal. I can't even explain it. I just knew I needed him."

Malory scoffed.

"Need?"

"Come on Cara, you must have known it wasn't real at some point. I mean, this is Nicholas we're talking about."

"He has a new chick on his arm every time I've seen him. He doesn't strike me as the falling in love type."

"Don't you think I know all this Mal? I do!"

"I knew the kind of person he was, I just couldn't keep away. I was stupid, I was stupid for thinking that for once I could do what I wanted, what made me happy."

She snapped with emphasis on the 'me'.

Malory chuckled.

"I know things aren't exactly the way they should be for you, but you cheated on Alexander. You cheated Cara, and you being in some kind of arranged marriage agreement doesn't change that fact."

"You should at least own up to that."

Cara flinched. Ouch! That did hurt, the sheer brutality of Malory's honesty rang her in ears, she cheated.

She was nothing but a cheat.

"I remember when there was a time you liked Alex if not love."

That was true, Cara had seen herself marrying him once, welcomed the idea, they were compatible when she had not started seeing the signs then.

"You saw yourself marrying him, you wanted him! And then I come back and everything changed and you're suddenly feeling very reluctant towards everything!"

"I know how much you want to blame this on your parents, on the arranged engagement and all but you made it your choice to be with Nicholas. And he knew you were getting married to his brother."

"I love you and cherish you Cara but you know how much I hate cheating and how bad it makes me feel. I just had to let you know that."

Cara blinked away hard tears. Malory was disappointed in her.

"I know. I'm disappointed in me too, for letting things get this far, this messy. I shouldn't have."

Malory looked away, she might have been a little harsh, too harsh in fact. She wished she could take back some of the words she said, she wasn't supposed to make Cara feel even worse than she already did.

"I'm sorry Cara, forgive me if I was being too hard on you. Do you love him?"

Love?

Cara couldn't tell.

She wasn't sure.

Every time Nicholas was away from her, all she could think about was being with him again. Whenever she was with him, she felt a kind of peace she couldn't explain. She felt happy and safe, like she was floating on clouds.

He made her feel things she had never felt before with Alexander. He made her risk everything and put her family name on the line.

That couldn't be love, something so forbidden, destructive and chaotic like what they have couldn't be described as love.

No, it couldn't.

She thought as she shook her head.

"No."

"All that's over now."

"That's good. Because you have to focus on other things. The wedding is in six days. Your recital dinner in three, this is real Cara, it's very real."

"I know Mal. I'm ready for it. I'm ready for all of it."

Was she really?