Chapter 14: Our Fight Continues

Chapter 14: Our Fight Continues
Silas

“What?” I seemed to already in one day have the affinity to piss Sydney off and not even know how.
“You know what! Don’t play dumb! I wasn’t done talking about the rogue attack and the letter.” Even when she’s mad, she’s cute.
“We should get some sleep. It’s been a long day, and we haven’t even had the time to get to know each other.” I lean on the desk and look deep into her eyes. For a split second, they looked like they got brighter. It must be her wolf pushing forward.
“It doesn’t matter I wasn’t done, and you don’t get to dismiss my meetings. It doesn’t matter if we are mates or not.” I see that lighter amber flash again. She must be fighting with her wolf as well. I know Alphas are stubborn, but she was on another level.
“Nothing is going to be resolved tonight anyway. Everyone is tired, and the portal is in the hospital anyway. You need sleep.” I lean down and set my forehead to hers. I know she’s upset about the attack, but she’s not thinking with a clear head; too much has happened today. I know better than anyone what this day has been like.
“Don’t tell me what I need. I don’t need you telling me what to do or telling me what I need. I’m the Alpha. I haven’t marked you, and you’re not my Lumiere yet.” Now she was being plain rude and throwing a fit. She pushes away and stands up from her chair.
“We may not have marked each other yet, but remember I left my home and family to support you, and we only met today. I’m trusting the goddess, and you are throwing a fit. You really need to stop this whole wounded victim routine.” Maybe no one else would call her out on her bullshit, but I would. I walk around to the front of the desk and take a seat on the sofa. If we are going to hash this out might as well be comfortable.
“Excuse you! I am not acting like anything but an Alpha. I’m trying to keep things in line.” She stands right in front of me, fist-clenched, jaw tight. I guess I struck a nerve.
“No, you are acting like a victim.” Being stubborn was one thing, but she’s acting like I’m trying to take her pack from her.
She scoffs and plops down on the sofa across from me. Glaring the whole time. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“There are two types of victims. You have the ‘spam victim.’ They will tell you what happened to them over and over again just to get your sympathy. Super annoying. They are like spam ads you can’t get away from.” I sit up a bit and lean forward—my hand claps in the other, resting my head on top of my knuckles.
“See not a victim.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest and leans back into the sofa.
I give her a condescending smile and raise my hand, displaying two fingers. “I said there are two types. The other type is you. They bury their pain deep inside, build walls and stay behind those walls to bath in self-pity. That’s you.” She just stares at me with a blank expression for a moment. She opens her mouth to say something then closes it again quickly. She breaks eye contact and looks at the floor for a second. I can feel her frustration rolling off her in waves.
She looks up at me gritting her teeth and glaring at me. “No, you forgot the third type. The type that fights back and beats the odds. That’s me.”
I smile and stand up from the sofa. “Those are survivors, not victims. Survivors ask for help and open themselves up to heal. You are a victim. Let me know when you want to become a survivor. I’ll be here waiting.” I walk over to the door and open it.
“I haven’t dismissed you yet.” She pours her Alpha aura into her command, but I’m not part of this pack, and she is my mate, so I easily shake it off.
I look over my shoulder at Sydney, who is now standing with arms folded. “I’m your mate, not your subordinate.” I open the door to walk out.
“Where are you going?” Her tone has eased up a bit, and I can hear slight desperation in her voice.
She needed to realize I would not be talked down to whether she was my mate or not. “To find a guestroom, unless you want me to stay with you tonight.” Sydney looks at me in shock then realizes what spending the night together might mean. She turns red and looks away. Damn, I can’t stay mad at her when she looks like that, but I have to stand my ground. “That’s what I thought. Good night.” I walk out of the office, grab my duffel bag I left by the door, and head down the hall in search of a guest room for the night.
“Well, that didn’t go well.” Bram was just as frustrated as I was.
“No, it didn’t, but we can’t help her if she won’t let us and if she doesn’t trust us.” I let out a sigh as I walked down the hall.
“Thora wants us.” I could see Thora trying to push through. It’s hard to tell sometimes if you are not watching closely.
“Wolf sprites are different from their human form. She’s been through a lot. I will give her that.” I wanted to see my mate push past the pain and make it her fuel to be a better Alpha than Tarlo. So no one else would have to go through what she went through. No one in this pack would have to experience what I went through. Maybe we could be happy. Perhaps I could close my eyes without seeing their cold dead eyes looking back at me.
“Tomorrow, we have to make our mate fall for us.” Bram was trying to refocus my mind on our challenge at hand and distract me from going into my own darkness.
“Easier said than done.” I find an empty guest room with an en-suite bathroom and toss my bag on the bed. I head straight to the bathroom and turn on the shower. I just wanted to melt this chill that had settled into my heart.
I get in and just let the hot water rinse my hypocrisy away. Sydney was not the only one still in turmoil from the Night of Raids. I still wasn’t sleeping the whole night. I still had nightmares, and I could say anything to anyone about it. Everyone looked at me like I was some hero and my family acted so proud. How could I tell them that I live with guilt for not being able to save them all? That the dead bodies piled in a corner come for me every night. I let the heat mix with my silent tears and wash them away. I was a mess. How would I help my mate with the pack and all its problems when I couldn’t even handle my guilt.
Sydney needed me, but I might be too broken to help her. Was I capable of giving her the love she needed? Could I get over this guilt and step up as her Lumiere? She was stronger than she ever realized. I will say she was not one to give up and press forward. I could see it. She was looked at like a monster for her actions, but I could see the conviction behind them. I knew why she did what she did when others wouldn’t. I would have done the same. She was accused of being a heartless demon, but she actually had the biggest heart of anyone but fought to protect it. This pack had no idea how much their Alpha cared for them. Ugh, those damn Elders tonight! What breaks my heart even more, is that Sydney would fight for each of them. She would put their life before her own as an Alpha should, and they don’t even respect her. The sadness in her eyes when they disrespected her cut me deep. I can already see through that mask and see her genuine emotions.
When she’s shy but tries to act tough, it’s so damn cute. She turns so red, and it makes me want to tease her more. I hope that never goes away. I want to be an old wolf making her wrinkly face blush like we’re newly mated. The laugh and smile I got from her were just as wonderful. I want more of that. When she smiles, one of her canines is longer, and she has this little snaggle tooth that’s so adorable. You can only see it when she smiles. Just thinking about her smile has put me in a better mood. I turn off the shower and step out, and I smell her.
“Mate has come to see us, Bram.” I feel him push forward.
“We shouldn’t keep mate waiting.” Bram’s excitement fuels mine and I catch a glimpse in the mirror, and I have a giant mischievous smile.
“You know I can smell you, right, Sydney?” I yell out as I start to towel off.
I hear her huff, “just come out so we can talk.”
“You hear her, Bram, she said to come out. I didn’t bring my clothes in the bathroom, so this towel is all I have.”
“Mate requested us, so we must fulfill that request.” I didn’t know if I was still heated from the shower or just anticipating walking out to my mate, but I was on fire. How was she going to react? Could I stop her from trying to run away? Catching her might be fun.