Chapter 40: Monster Cookies

Chapter 40: Monster Cookies
Sydney
“Is this really a good idea?” I whisper to myself as I slow my steps walking toward the packhouse kitchen.
“Hurry up. Why are you so slow?” Thora tries to take over for a second.
“Hey, knock it off. You just want to eat. Whatever she made is not going anywhere.” I push her back and maintain control.
“You don’t know that. Beta Christine is nice, and she could have already given the good stuff away.” My mouth starts to salivate as Thora pushes forward again.
“You are acting like a starving pup. We eat all the time.” I stop walking and stand still in the hall, taking back complete control. I’ve never put myself on a diet. With the consistent training and shifting, the need for calories was immense. Now with the added workload of the pack, I was eating even more, as they call it, brain food.
“This is different. This is special. Just calm down, alright. Everything is fine, it’s fine.” I start walking again, and Thora whins but lets me have full control. As I walk down the hallway, the mixed smell of food hits my nose, and I feel hungry.
Before I realize it, I’m standing in front of the swing kitchen door. My stomach growls at the intoxicating scent that is escaping. “Hurry, it smells so good.” Thora urges our body forward.
“Are you a starving stray or an Alpha wolf? Get it together.” I push back. Truth be told, I was hungry, but I was also extremely nervous. This will be the first time it will only be Christine and me. She’s my mate’s mother and the mother of Cody, who I tried to attack the other night.
“Stop being scared. She wouldn’t have stayed if she didn’t want to get to know us.” Thora huffed.
Dame wolf is too logical for our own good. I sigh and push the door open. I see an array of food already in containers on the table. It’s enough food to feed our warriors; who was she cooking for?
“Oh, my Sydney, dear. I’m so glad you are here.” Christine’s smile is blinding and dripping with sweetness and charm.
“Um, yeah.” I didn’t know how to reply. I just stood still with an expressionless face to hide my awkward feelings.
“Sydney, what is your favorite cookie? I’ll make them next.” Christine was the type that didn’t let a situation become uncomfortable. She just kept on going forward, dragging the conversation with her whether you liked it or not.
“Ummmm. Let me think.” I had never really put much stock into which foods I liked and didn’t. I ate what I could when I could to keep up with my training. I took a second to think, and the memory from before my dad passed popped into my head.
Dad and I were just coming home from going through the territory. As we walked in, the smell of home-baked cookies hit us like a wall, and we both went straight to the kitchen. Mom was pulling out a fresh pan from the oven when we broke the threshold.
“Can I have one? Can I have one?” I wined to my mom.
“They are for after dinner.” Mom gave me a stern look.
“Listen to your mom.” Dad nodded. As soon as my mom’s back was turned, dad stole two cookies off the counter, and we quickly went to the living room.
“Gimme, gimme.” I reached for the prize dad was holding.
“Oh no!” Dad looked at the cookies in shock.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“These cookies… they’re….” He put the cookies in front of his eyes and growled. “They’re monster cookies!” He started chasing me around the living room. I ran around screaming and jumping over furniture, and when he caught me, I was so out of breath from running, screaming, and giggling, but I was happy. Dad gave me one of the cookies, and it was the best cookie I had ever eaten in my life.
“Don’t be shy. What’s your favorite cookie?” Christine’s gentle coaxing brought me out of my memory and back to the present.
With a faint smile, I replied, “Monster Cookies.”
Her eyes lit up. “I haven’t made those in years—what a great choice. I’ll have to find some M&M’s. Sit down, dear. Do you want soothing to drink?”
“I’m fine for now, thanks.” I took a stool seat at the counter and looked around at all the food she had cooked. “I have to ask, what’s with all the food?”
“I might have gotten a little carried away. I didn’t know what you liked. I know what David and Silas like, so just kept going, I guess.” Christine chuckled, and I could feel the genuine love for her family in her tone.
“Which are Silas’ favorites?” I still didn’t feel like I really knew Silas. Maybe learning his favorite foods would help me somehow understand him.
“Well, the snickerdoodles over there and the shepherd’s pie as well.” Christine started pulling out the ingredients for monster cookies.
“A wolf who likes shepherd’s pie that’s a little ironic.” I chuckle.
Christine turns toward me. Setting down the measuring cup in her hand. “You know that boy has always been a bit of a conundrum.” I see a sad smile on her face, but I don’t know why.
“I guess we all have our preferences.” I smile awkwardly back. Did I say something wrong? What is with that look?
“Sydney, I need to thank you for so much.” Christine sighs and lifts her head, and blinks back tears.
“I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong? Why are you crying.” I’m panicked. It was the first time we talked one-on-one, and I made her cry. Damn it. Am I that horrible?
“No, dear. I’m happy. As you know, it’s not common for ranked members to be blessed with more than one pup, let alone two, so when we found ourselves pregnant with a third. I was terrified.” Christine came around the counter and sat on a stool next to me.
“Why? Aren’t pups a blessing?” I’m so confused.
“They are. I guess I should explain a bit better.” She took my hands in hers. “I was scared I would lose one of my boys because of Silas’ birth. I was so scared that the goddess blessed us with a third because one of the first two would die, and he was meant to take their place. My fear got worse as he got older. He was always the most talented of the three.” Christine wiped away a stray tear.
“I guess I never really thought about that being as I was an only child.” I was at a loss about what was the right thing to say in this situation.
“Once Silas became an adult, I could tell he was extremely frustrated. He worked so hard but could never be more than the third son. As his mother, it broke my heart. The females that would sniff around him made my blood boil. Just a bunch of man-eaters wanting to get close to the Beta family. Both of his last two girlfriends cheated on him. It broke his heart. Of course, there was the Night of Raids. When he came back with those stab wounds. I thought I was going to lose it. All those years, I worried about losing my two older boys; not once did I consider I could lose Silas.” Christine’s grip on my hands tightened. She was fighting back her tears. I squeezed back, trying to reassure her.
“He too stubborn to go down to those lowlifes. He’s too strong.” I had experienced my mate in a fight now a few times. I knew how strong he was.
“He is. When he pulled you out of the SUV that day and said, mate. I thought the goddess had answered my prayers. Then when Alpha Gideon said you were an Alpha, everything started to make sense. The reason why he was better at everything and why his relationships didn’t work out was that he was an Alpha born to Betas. Thank you for being his mate and changing his life for the better. You two really are a great match.” Christine caressed my cheek. I looked into her teary eyes, full of love for her son.
It made me think I needed to treat him better. Did I treat him poorly? Was he happy? I have no clue what I’m doing in relationships. I gulp down my rising questions. “He’s great. I don’t know if I could do this without him.” I know it seems generic, but I didn’t know what else to say.
Christine pulls me into a hug. “Thank you, dear. Now I can’t wait for more grandbabies. I’m greedy and want lots of grandbabies.”
I’m frozen. I know we will have an heir one day, but I guess I have been thinking of it as more of a thing than an actual living, breathing manifestation of Silas and me. Thinking about it makes me panic a bit. I wasn’t even sure if I was a good mate, let alone could I be a good mother? Wait, was I pregnant now? How do I check?
My brain is going a million miles a minute about everything. Was I doing a good job as an Alpha? Was I a good mate to Silas? Could I be a good mom to my pup one day? Was I pregnant already? Would now be a good time since we had so much work to do to get the pack up and going. I still had to deal with the mess Joseph had created. We still need to figure out the rogue issue as well. Could we fix all those things and raise a pup simultaneously? Now I need to know? How soon can you find out if you are pregnant?
Suddenly the kitchen door bursts open, and I see Silas run in. His dad grabs him and puts him in a headlock. They are roughhousing and joking around like everything is perfect, and my mind is in a complete meltdown.
I blurt out. “I’m not ready.” Everyone stops and looks at me.