Chapter 33: Where to Start

Chapter 33: Where to start
Silas
"Alright, guys, I don't have a ton of time, so let's get right to it. How's everyone healing up after last night?" I sit down on one of the sofas in Syd's office.
Ambrose plops down, as is his style. "Well, everyone survived. Even Brian, but it was touch and go for a bit. Are you sure you should leave the Alpha?" Ambrose looks at the door.
"Syd is asleep. I told her I would come and check on things while she rests." I can see there's some hesitation on his face. "My mom told me that a female's first heat takes a lot out of her." I chuckle awkwardly, "If I don't give her a report, she'll have my head." I hope my joke will cut the tension.
"We could have dropped a full report at your door." Kyler flips open his laptop, flipping it around to show me the medical report on the fighters from last night.
"True, but you guys know how Syd is. I didn't want to make her feel crowded." I actually needed some air but didn't want to say it aloud.
"True cuz has always been pretty independent. I've never seen her that rattled before. You know she didn't even cry at her dad's funeral. She just snarled at everyone. Have you ever seen an eight-year-old snarl instead of cry? I have, and it was scary cool." Ambrose tended to ramble if allowed to.
I cut him off. "Kyler, can you bring up Brian's report?"
"Yes, I have it right here. He was the most critically wounded from last night's fight. He lost a lot of blood." Kyler pulls the file up for me. I don't know all the medical terms, but it doesn't look good. Even with our ability to heal quickly, he's going to be in the hospital for a while.
"I didn't think you would mind if Brian died." Ambrose leans back into the sofa. His eyes narrowed, and his brow raised.
"Come on, Ambrose, I don't want anyone from the pack to die, even if I think they are a scumbag." I give my best charming smile. I didn't want Brian to die; only stop pestering Syd.
"That's true. If these rogues keep coming at us, we will need all the pack warriors we can get." Ambrose's face relaxes as he seems to sink into the sofa even more.
"How many totals did we take out?" I know at least one died, and another was in worse shape than Brain.
"Three deaths, no hostages." Kyler's dry deminer to the dead is a little unnerving.
"Have the warriors set up a funeral pyre for tomorrow at the edge of the territory? Do we have anyone that can do the rights?" Kyler and Ambrose look at me like I have an arm growing from my forehead. "What?"
"They are rogues! They attacked our pack, and you want to give them a proper funeral at the edge of the territory!" Ambrose is on the verge of yelling.
"They were rogues, but they were werewolves first. They had loved ones, and most importantly, they were the goddess' children just like us. Everyone deserves this basic dignity." I felt the same as they did before that night. I could never simply discard someone like they did. We are better than those monsters. They both just looked intently at me for a moment, not moving like time was paused.
"Lumiere, do you think we can stop them or maybe negotiate with them?" I could feel the fear rolling off Kyler. He had a lot to lose if the rogues attacked us again. We might have won this time, but we didn't know their numbers or when we might get attacked again.
"If what the elder pieced together is true, I doubt it. They have a score to settle, and they don't care if anyone was or wasn't involved. They see the whole pack as culpable." I run a hand down my face. I'm so tired already.
"Do you think we can win against them at least?" I want to give Kyler hope, but I don't know how to answer him. I stare at my hands in between my legs. These hands last night fought rogues, then turned around and pleasured a woman like it was an everyday thing. I feel like I don't know what to expect next.
I let out a breath, "possibly, our warriors will need more training and sparing. They lack experience, but they are strong enough, I believe." That was the best I could do.
"Ugh, rogues and the Elder Council. I'm already exhausted. We've been prepping for the Lumiere ceremony on top of everything too. Well, the party after will be a great chance to try and find my mate." Ambrose attempted to lighten the very heavy atmosphere, but it only seemed to weigh heavier on Kyler.
"We have a lot more issues than just the rogues and Elder Council inquiry." Both Ambrose and I look at Kyler with furrowed brows.
"After reviewing the financial files and accounts, we have a cash flow problem. Since the previous Alpha put the pack on lockdown, every household became dependent on the Alpha to provide for them. Of course, everyone was assigned jobs, but all the jobs were tied to the pack, and no one was ever paid. Even the shop owners would present the Alpha with a monthly invoice, and they would only get supplies needed to keep things running." Kyler blew out a breath. "Basically, no one in the pack has any money. They don't have internet in their homes or cell phones. The few that are comfortable with the outside world worked for the pack."
"Wait, what? Seriously? How did I not notice this? You both seem… up to date?" My mind was blown.
With a groan, Ambrose elaborated. "My dad is a civil engineer, and I was learning from him up until I became the Beta. Kyler here was one of the few tech guys our pack had." I don't think Ambrose had fully realized the uphill climb we had until Kyler pointed it out.
Watching Kyler, you could see his wheels turning. "I don't know how much restitution we will have to pay and for how long, but maybe we can get the payments deferred a few years so we can get the pack back on track." Kyler was our brain.
It's quiet for a moment, and we are all drowning in our thoughts. "Be honest, how bad is the education?" I direct my question to the only one of us with pups, Kyler.
"It's a joke, to be honest. I teach my two after school to make sure they don't fall behind the world." Kyler's shoulders slump.
"This is going to take years to fix." I know how to manage a pack but not completely overhaul and modernize one. "We are going to have to teach adults how to, well… adult. At the same time, get our schools updated, so our children don't fall behind."
"How long do you think it will take to get the pack turned around completely?" Ambrose's serious concerned tone was refreshing, considering he was always cracking jokes.
"I'm not completely sure. We will need to meet with Gidon and John on this after my Lumiere ceremony. I'll talk to Syd about it in the meantime." I knew nothing was going to get solved at this moment.
Sydney must have felt me say her name because she bond-linked me right after. "When are you coming back? Bring some food."
"I'm on my way to the kitchen now." I link her back.
I stand up. "Sorry, guys, Alpha calls." They both nod, and I know they are both still deep in thought about all the work we need to do.
I make my way out the office door and to the kitchen. The kitchen staff has planned out meals for Syd and me. All I had to do was pull them out of the fridge and warm them up. As I walk back to our room, I feel numb.
This is our first heat. It's meant to be this beautiful time of connecting and building our bond, but I feel guilty. I feel guilty like I'm taking the pack's Alpha away from her duties. I feel guilty because I'm not present in my time with Sydney because we have so many problems in the pack. I feel guilty because the goddess gave this pack the wrong Lumiere. What's wrong with me? I wanted a purpose. I prayed for a change, and now that it's in front of me, I don't feel adequate. We already marked each other, and I could never tarnish my family name by walking away. I couldn't do that to Sydney. She may not love me, but I know she's starting to trust me. I'm pretty sure I've already fallen for her even outside of the mate bond and being an Alpha, she's perfect for me. I guess the only thing I can do is the best I can and hope it's enough.
Before I know it, I'm standing in front of our bedroom door. I let out a breath and cleared my mind. I need to focus on my mate right now. "Syd, I'm back."
The door opens, and Sydney's eyes widen at the tray of food. "I'm starving."
I chuckle while walking past her. She closes the door behind me. She sits at the small table by the window. The early afternoon sun shining in illuminating her milky white skin and making it look like her hair is glowing embers. She's beyond beautiful.
She dives into the tray like she hasn't eaten in weeks. "What did Ambrose and Kyler report?" She said between bites. Ever the Alpha, working even while eating and in heat.
"We had no casualties from last night." I'll have to tell her about Brain later. She might insist on going to the hospital.
"Anything else?" She tilts her head to the side. "You look… troubled?"
"Just all the challenges we have to rebuild is all." I lean on my elbow on the table, propping my chin on top of my clasped hands.
"We will rebuild. I trust the goddess she brought me you." Her bright smile feels more like a dagger to the heart. I never want to disappoint that smile.
"Of course, we will. She made you Alpha after all." I force a smile, and we continue eating.
The guest for my Lumiere ceremony will be arriving tomorrow. I hope I can keep up the façade of the confident mate of the Alpha.