Chapter 38: Finding the Definition

Chapter 38: Finding the Definition
Sydney
“Alpha, aren’t you going to join your mate and his father at the training grounds?” Kyler looked up from his laptop.
I sink back into my chair and let out a sigh. “No, I need to get caught up on pack business.” I’m behind on pack work because of my heat and the Lumiere ceremony. Now that the other Alphas have left, I can focus on cleaning this up again. Why did Silas’ parents decide to stay an extra few days? I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells around them now.
“What was all that noise about at the after-party, Alpha?” Ambrose cranes his neck backward over the sofa to look at me. A sucker stick poked out between his lips. I know he’s being nosy and trying to act casual about it.
“It was nothing. Don’t worry about it.” I don’t want to bring it back up right now. It still bothers me. I focus on the reports in front of me.
“Nothing? You sure rushed out for nothing then.” Ambrose knows how to get under my skin. Even as pups, he was like this. Probably why he got beat up all the time.
I roll my eyes. “Ambrose. Shut up.”
“You have to break this habit of yours. Keeping everything bottled in will give you an ulcer.” Ambrose pops his sucker back in and out of his mouth.
“Well, listening to you blab on is giving me a headache.” I snarl back. Ambrose acts hurt, and the sucker falls out of his mount and falls in his lap. He scrambles to catch it, and it sticks to his hand. I can’t help but laugh. It serves him right.
“It’s like you are siblings more than second cousins,” Kyler says with a smile that fades quickly because Ambrose and I give him a death glare.
“Like hell.” Ambrose tosses his now lint and hair-covered sucker in the trash.
“I think we actually got along when we were pups.” I chuckle, watching him pout over his lost candy.
“More like you followed me around.” Ambrose snorted back.
“Pfft. More like you dragged me along so I would beat up the kids that would pick on you. How cowardly to use your younger cousin to fight bullies.” I scoffed. He was such a brat. He was always mouthing off to older kids and getting into trouble.
Ambrose starts laughing. “Everyone was scared of you. I guess some things don’t change.” I guess that bratty mouth never grew up.
“Well, that’s what family is like. You both are only children, so I guess you kind of adopted each other as siblings back then.” Kyler must be in dad mood or something. He’s saying weird things. Both Ambrose and I look at him, more shocked at his odd comment.
Is that what siblings act like? Was the fight between Silas and his brothers just siblings fighting? No, it felt more like hatred or contempt. If Ambrose and I act like siblings, what the hell was Cody saying to his actual brother.
“Well, we are second cousins, so I guess so.” Ambrose just shrugged it off like it was so matter of fact.
“Maybe when we were young, but I don’t know now,” I mutter and look back at my reports. I was still uncomfortable with this whole family concept. My only family was my parents, and they were taken from me. Mom and I just tried to survive. We didn’t talk about dad. We barely spoke about anything important. We focused on getting through the day until Tarlo took her away. She didn’t cry or break down. She held her head high and just gave me a nod. Like she was telling me, don’t let him break you.
“I mean, blood is blood. You can’t deny it. I think that’s part of why I was called to be the beta because I’m the only branch of the Eld bloodline besides my mom.” Ambrose straightens his back and smiles with pride beaming from his face.
“I guess an Eld was always meant to be the Beta of our pack.” Kyler looks deep in thought at his mumbling.
“Maybe so,” I murmured out. My thoughts go to my dad. Was Ambrose always meant to take his place, not me? I’m happy to be Alpha, but there is something sentimental to me about the Beta position.
“It’s odd thinking about family considering, Joseph. Even as a pup, I didn’t like him. Did you know that my mom almost left my dad because of Joseph and how he treated you?” Ambrose’s anger is rising. I can see his wolf flashing in his eyes. My dad and his mom were first cousins. To watch must have been hard for her, but she had to protect her son.
“You know she would leave me birthday gifts at my back door growing up. She would also leave flowers on my father’s death anniversary every year.” I smile, but it fades quickly as I think back.
When I was 15, I took the gift left that year and returned it to Ambrose’s mom, Conny. I broke it and added a note that said, ‘I don’t need your pity.’ Maybe I’m just so used to pushing everyone away. Perhaps I just wanted to hurt someone as much as I was hurting. Pity was for the weak, and I had to survive.
I let out a breath at the memory. My stomach feels twisted in knots about it. I was too young to understand. It was the best she could do at the time. “Where is your mom?” I should really apologize.
“She’s at the Ashwood pack taking care of my grandma. As soon as the pack was opened up, she left to check on her. We haven’t been in contact in years because of Tarlo. She’s not doing so well these days. Since her wolf is sealed, her health has taken a toll.” Ambrose’s tone was a mix of anger and sadness.
This conversation feels like it’s getting darker, and I don’t have the emotional stamina to keep going. “Kyler, how is Nina adjusting?”
“She’s doing great. I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter and big sister for Toby. She’s an awesome kid. Super smart too.” Kyler’s parental pride saves the day.
“She seems like a sweet kid,” I say with a half-smile. Topic changed.
“She is.” Kyler smiles, and the room is quiet for a brief moment. “I hope one day they can both sleep without nightmares. If it weren’t for Nina, Toby would have died. She hid him and brought him food after his leg broke. I think they decided to be siblings on their own. Those kids made their own family to survive.”
This conversation got dark again. What Kyler said is sinking in. About the kidnapped kids and how they relied on each other to survive, I survived on my own, protecting my mother for as long as possible. It was so hard and lonely carrying that burned. I don’t think my parents would want me to be alone. I have people around me now, so maybe I can have a chosen family. Ambrose and Kyler are ranked members and share the pack’s burdens. They were called by the goddess. Maybe I can confide in them.
“I think Silas’ brother Cody hates me. He was bad-mouthing me so bad to Silas that he attacked Cody. I also attacked him, and his parents walked in, then Alpha Conor. It was a mess.” I spit it all out as fast as I could before my mind caught up with my month.
“Oh damn! That’s what happened. What did he say?” Ambrose is on the edge of his seat for gossip. Maybe this was a bad idea.
“I don’t want to repeat it. It’s just going to piss me off more.” I huff.
“Siblings fight even as adults. I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” Kyler is the ever optimist. I wish that were the case.
“No, it wasn’t just teasing. It felt more malicious. It was just mean and hurtful.” I said, thinking back.
“He’s probably jealous.” Ambrose lounges back on the sofa again.
” Jealous? What makes you say that?” I raise an eyebrow and listen.
“His older brother is the Beta by birth. Cody only took over as Gamma because the heir decided to leave to her mate’s pack and become the Beta female there. Silas was just a warrior. OK, a top-level one, but he officially didn’t hold a rank. Now both of his brothers outrank him.” Ambrose explained his reasoning.
“He outranks his whole family now. They are all happy for him, and his parents are super proud their son is a Lumiere. Did you see them during the ceremony! The Youngblood name will now be directly tied to an Alpha bloodline. It’s a moment to be proud, not jealous.” I simply disagreed with Ambrose’s theory of jealousy.
Ambrose sighs and shakes his head at me. “Yeah, his parents and older brother are happy about it, but to Cody, he’s now the lowest-ranked family member. His little brother, who was nothing before, can now order him around.”
“If that’s the case, he’s just going to have to get over it. There’s nothing he can do about it.” My anger was starting to surface.
“I think what he did was create a scene to try and make Silas look bad. It’s the only thing he can do. It’s not like he could beat Silas at anything… He reminds me of Joseph.” Ambrose snarled the end of his words. He still refuses to call Joseph grandpa. I could see how the two resembled each other.
“Family is complicated.” Kyler sighed. Silence enveloped the room. “Where is Christine? I can’t imagine she’s out on the training grounds with her mate and son?”
“No, she’s in the kitchen baking and cooking.” I shook my head.
“Baking?” Ambrose stood up excited.
“Not for you! For her son and your Lumiere.” I snapped.
Ambrose starts pouting like his been starved his whole life. Ugh, this guy.
“Maybe you should go and see if she has everything she needs? I’m sure she would be honored to have the Alpha check on her.” Kyler smiles at me. I see what you did there, Kyler. You successfully changed the topic. He’s smoother than I gave him credit for. I smirk.
“You think?” I look at my Beta and Gamma, and even though we have had an emotional conversation in my definition, I feel good. “OK, I’ll check on her.”