Chapter 37

Raymond drank glass after glass of whiskey in his penthouse, he really don't know why he was drinking since it's been long he had drank to that extent but one thing was for sure, he doesn't want to be alone. He picked up his phone to call Natalia but he couldn't put through the call. He decided to call one of his bimbos but he knew deep inside they are not who he wished to see.
He looked at his phone timer to discover that it was 10:56 pm. A cute beautiful face popped up in his mind and he stood up immediately and searched for his car key, he has to see her one last time. Katherine will be taking her away from him tomorrow, so this is his last opportunity to see her.
He won't do anything, he will just look at her as she sleeps, yes, that's it. He staggered to his private elevator and fumbles with the buttons before pressing the down floor.
When he got to his car, he started the engine and left the underground parking lot. His heart was light at the thought of seeing her and he was already expectant. He is sure she will be curled up by now on her bed, looking as beautiful as always.
It was a miracle he was able to reach his mansion unscathed in his intoxicated state. He got out of the car and input the code, he went into the house, everywhere was dark but he didn't turn on the light, he didn't want Mercy to know that he was back, after all, he is going to leave once after watching Felicity sleep for a while.
He used the stair handrails to guide himself up. When he got to her door, he sent a silent prayer to heaven that her door should he unlock before turning the handle. To his happiness, it opened and he grinned like a schoolboy, stopping himself with all his power not to jump up and down.
He treaded softly to her bed, his hand got to the nightstand and he turned on the bed lamp. Her sweet face was now in his view, his fingers caressed her face and traced her eyebrow, her nose tip then her lips. He can't stop but wonder how can one be so beautiful that just looking at her face alone was soothing his lonely heart.
His eyes took in the rest of her body covered with the duvet, he wanted to feel her smooth flawless skin on his palm, he wanted their bodies to touch but he knew he shouldn't do something he will regret when sober. She was breathing softly, with her chest rising and falling.
He believes the alcohol is playing tricks on him because how can just her face alone melt his heart? Why does he feel so happy mainly by looking at her?
His fingertips touched her lips once more, a warning bell was ringing in his mind, he should go before he wakes her up but his feet refused to move. Due to the way she was lying, the top part of her breast was shooting out from the neckline of her nightgown. He gulped staring at it. The bell was getting louder in his ear now, reminding him to leave but instead, his hand reached forward and his fingertips traced her exposed breast.
An electric shot through his fingers into his whole body and he shivered, he gulped and licked his lips. Heavens, he wants her, he had always wanted her. From their wedding night till now, he had always wanted to have a taste of her. His gaze went to her sleeping face and he slowly leaned forward, when his lips brushed on hers, he sighed, he felt peaceful. The inner war raging inside him seemed to calm down and he wanted to kiss her more, to taste more of her.
Felicity moved then and as if sensing him, she opened her eyes which first showed shock before relaxing on realizing who it was, "little Ray, what are you doing here?" Her soft sleepy voice asked.
Raymond drowned in her dewy emerald eyes, "I miss you" he murmured "do you miss me too?"
"Little Ray" she sat up when she caught the wisp of alcohol when he spoke, "why are you smelling like this?"
He chuckled lowly, "I had a few drinks."
"Okay. Are you alright?"
"Only you can make me feel alright my Felicity."
"Oh" she tried to hide the colors on her face but Raymond saw it, he smiled and traced her cheek.
"Will you let me sleep with you? There is something I want to show you."
"What is that?"
"I can only show you. Do you want me to?"
She looked to be contemplating before she nodded.
Raymond smiled, "that's a good girl" he caressed her honey gold hair and plant a kiss on top of her head. He sat town beside her on the bed and took off his shoes. The warning bell started again in his mind but he ignored it and cupped her cheek, "my Felicity, why have you been running away from me?"
Felicity looked down at her fingers, "aunt Katy said that you don't like me."
He smiled, he knew Katherine will have something to do with it, "but I like you."
She looked at him immediately, her eyes sparkling, "really little Ray?"
"Of course."
She threw herself into his arms, her hands wrapped round his waist "I like you too little Ray but Grace said you can't like me until I become a woman like you said. Does that mean I have become a woman little Ray?"
"You don't need to be a woman for me to like you Felicity."
She looked up at him, "but Grace is a woman. She said you can only like women."
"Grace is a woman but I don't like her. I like you."
She smiled and hugged him more tightly, "thank you little Ray."
Raymond stiffened as her shampoo wafted into his nostrils, her soft chest that was pressed against his in her hug made him shiver. The thought of it caused him to gulp and his body tightened, the warning bell growing louder, he placed his finger under her chin and made her look at him, "can I kiss you Felicity?" Don't, don't, his mind screamed.
Felicity blushed and nodded once.
Raymond lowered his head and claimed her lips in his, the softness almost driving him wild. His hand slowly crawled up to her breasts and he squeezed softly. He love the feel on his hand and due to the control and his concealed desire, he lost all restraint.?
What was meant to be a gentle kiss turned passionate, fiery and demanding, he slowly made her lay on the bed with him on top her. His hungry fingers traced her smooth flawless body. He left her lips and pressed his lips on her neck, she shivered and her hands curled round his neck instinctively.
Raymond knew he should stop but he couldn't, he has waited so long, he has always wanted to do this and if not tonight, there will be no other night. He sat up and pulled her gown out of her head and sleeves. He gulped as his gaze settled on the pinkish peaks, he was losing control just at the sight of her and to his amazement, he actually like it.
He leaned closer and covered her nipple in his hot moist mouth, her hand wrapped on his neck tightly. The feelings she had on their wedding night returned, consuming her. She wanted more of him, she doesn't know what she wants but she knows she wants him, anything that he could offer. Her body was burning and Raymond knew.
He knew she wants him and he also knew he can satisfy her cravings, so why don't he just give in? As if already making his decision, he unbuttoned his shirt and threw it somewhere on the floor. He pressed her body to his and oh, how he loves the feeling.
He took his time to make her want him more, to prepare her, he mustn't forget that she was still a virgin. He gave her an intense foreplay and when he was sure she was ready, he removed the rest of his clothing. He parted her legs with his and settled himself in between her legs, he looked at her and gulped when she licked her lips. Her eyes were clear and he could read all she feels in them.
As if serving as a last warning, Katherine's face popped up in his mind but he pushed it aside and slowly claimed her. Her fingernails dug into his back as she winced. Her eyes shut tightly as a few tears dropped from the corner of her eyes. This wasn't what she expected.
Raymond thrust into her slowly, watching her face to know when the pain has eased up, her hands tightened on his back, even though he knew her fingernails were bruising his back, he didn't care. Let her inflict on him the pain he was inflicting on her even though he knows, his was more painful on her but he can't stop now.
"Little Ray, it hurts" she whimpered.
Raymond's heart tightened, he wanted to stop, to free her from the pain but he had already come this far, it's better he finished it so that she won't have to go through the pain again. He caressed her face as he tried to coarse her, "just endure it a little more my darling, it will stop soon" he thrust again and her toes curled and she shook her head in pain.
"It hurts."
"I'm sorry. Look at me" she looked at him and he locked their gaze as he thrust into her again, muttering "I'm sorry."
After a few more thrusts, her hold on him started to ease up and before long, she tightened them on him again but this time out of pleasure.
Raymond pampered her body as he tried to fill her up with passion. She shut her eyes tightly, letting out pants after pants.
"Does it still hurt?"
She shook head at him before saying "it doesn't hurt anymore."
He kissed her as he surrendered himself to the passion her sweet body brought him. He groaned and wrapped her up in his arms. This isn't his first time being inside a woman but her body brought him pleasures he had never experienced.
After a long while, he found his ecstasy as well as she. He shuddered and slumped on her body, reliving on the aftermath.
He fell beside her on the bed when he caught his breath and wrapped her in his arms. She wanted to look at him but she couldn't open her eyes. He smiled softly and kissed her forehead before reality started setting in. What has he done?
Oh hell, he knows what he has done, he just can't believe he did it. Katherine will kill him if she finds out, he knew but what more can he say, the deed has been done. He sighed and looked at her, with the rising and falling of her chest, he knew she had fallen asleep. He closed his eyes to calm down his insides and it wasn't long, he fell asleep as well.
Raymond opened his eyes, he has a splitting headache and he reached out his hand to knead his temple when he felt a weight beside him, he looked to see Felicity sleeping peacefully. He jerked up, staring at her, his chest rising and falling with his heavy breathing.
What has he done? Katherine will kill him and most importantly, how will Felicity see him now?
He shouldn't have done this, he shouldn't have taken her innocence when he hasn't figured out his feelings for her. He might be slightly attracted to her but that doesn't mean he loves her right?
And moreover, he doubts if he would be good to her, she deserves someone better. Someone who will love and cherish her and that someone is not him and will never be him. He climbed out of the bed and got into his dress, he stood, staring at her, he will never forgive himself for what he did to her but he has to leave now, for her own good. He turned and walked towards the door, he opened it and gently closed it after him.
Raymond entered his room, it was still dark outside and he guessed it's should still be early hours of the morning. He took of his shirt and flung it on the sofa before making his way to the bathroom, he could still feel the alcohol in his system and he still needs some rest but he can't be here, he can't take seeing Felicity's face when she will be leaving.
Just then, something moved in his peripheral vision and he looked at his bed to see someone sitting up, he was shocked, "what are you doing here?"
"Finally" Grace yawned, "I have been waiting for you and may have slept off while doing so" she turned on the bed lamp and looked at the alarm clock "it's five in the morning, why are you coming back now?"
"What are you doing in my room Grace?"
"I already told you, I have been waiting for you" she got out of the bed completely naked "the last time I was with you in here, Felicity barged in before we could do anything but now" she closed up the distance between them "we have all morning to ourselves. If I had known you have spending the nights here for the past two weeks, I would have come sooner. Don't worry. Felicity doesn't know I'm here and we both know she won't come looking for you."
Raymond kneaded his temple softly, "Grace, I'm not in the mood for your games, so please, leave."
"Why, I can see you have had a few drinks, don't you want me to help you?" She traced his bare chest with her fingertips, tracing down to his abs "I promise I won't be gentle. Men like you don't like gentle women" she stood on her tiptoes then and kissed him.
Meanwhile, Felicity woke up at the sound of the door closing, she looked beside her but she didn't see Raymond, she sat up and looked around the room, "little Ray?" When she got no answer, she lifted the bed covers and climbed out of the bed, her legs wobbled and she felt a little intense ache in between her legs. She stood, trying to numb the pains before picking up her nightgown and putting it on.
When she walked, her body aches but she managed to leave the room, she pushed open Raymond's door and the first thing she saw was him kissing someone.
She froze at the doorstep, what happened between them flashing in her mind, the aches she feels is an evident that it wasn't a dream. He said he liked her, why is kissing another person? Her heart seemed to have fallen into her stomach "Little Ray..."
Raymond stiffened when he heard her voice, he pushed Grace away and turned to see Felicity, he doesn't need to see her eyes to know there is hurt in them. After all, they had shared something so intimate and she had to see him now with someone else. He can't begin to imagine the hurt she feels right now, he sighed "Felicity..."
"Why are you kissing Grace? You promised me that time that you won't let her come close to you again."
"Felicity..." He tried to explain.
"Is it because she is a woman and I'm not? But you said you don't like her" she looked at Grace to see she was naked. Was he about to do to her what he just did to her last night, after all, he took off her clothes too.
"Why are you here Felicity?" Grace asked, why does she has to come in every single time? She was angry as she watched her.
Felicity looked at her and then at Raymond, she didn't know what to say, so she turned and ran away to her room crying, she shut the door and ran to her bed, she fell on it in tears as she remembered how gentle he was to her and all the things he said, he had lied to her. Little Ray lied to her!
Her heart was heavy and no amount of tears seemed to ease her pain.
Raymond sighed and slumped on his bed, he buried his face in his hands. He knew he would hurt her but he just didn't expect it to be so soon. He knows he can go to her now and apologize, but he can't. It's better this way, he will never be good for her any way. Grace reached out to touch him and he stiffened, "get out" he whispered.
"You don't have to..."
"Get out!" His voice was low but it was filled with iciness that sent a shiver down her spine. She hurriedly picked up her clothes and left the room.?
After some minutes, Raymond got up, picked up his shirt, opened his drawer and took a car key. He left the room, left the hallway in quick strides. He went outside, got into his car and sped off.
?
Later in the morning, Mercy went into Felicity's room to get her ready, Katherine will be picking them up that morning, she saw Felicity lying on the bed and smiled. "Get up dear, you will be returning to your aunt's home today."
Felicity wasn't able to fall asleep again, so after crying, she just lay on the bed, her thought in turmoil. When she heard Mercy's words, she just got up, despite the pain that surged through her body, she clenched her teeth and walked into the bathroom.
Mercy noticed something was different with the way she walked, she wanted to ask her but Felicity has already shut the door. She sighed and went to arrange her bed, when she lifted the covers, that was when she saw it, blood.
She sighed, just as she suspected, she removed the covers and bedspread, her foot stepped on something, she looked down to see Raymond's car key, not like she needed any other confirmation. She placed the car key on the nightstand before leaving the room with the covers and bedspreads to wash.
Felicity followed her instinct and soaked herself in the bath filled with hot water, she laid there, her heart tightening up in sorrow and then anger. He lied to her, kissed her best friend and then asked her to leave his house, all because she has a soft heart, all because she isn't a real woman. Tears dropped from the corners of her eyes and then she heard Mercy knocking on the door.
"Felicity, come out now, you have been in there for nearly thirty minutes, you don't want to burn your skin."
At Mercy's voice, she realized the water has turned cold, and the aches seemed to have numbed, she got out of the bath and dried her body with a towel before leaving the bathroom.
When Mercy saw her come out, she reached out to her and helped her sit on the bed before offering her a plate of hot ginger soup, "here, it will ease the ache."
Felicity took the plate from her and drank the soup silently. Mercy watched her and sighed, what could Raymond have done to make her so lifeless? She is sure he didn't force himself on her and with the kind of person Felicity is, she should be telling her about what happened but if she is this quiet then Raymond must have done something to hurt her after and the worse is that he is not even around.
She just silently pack her bags while watching her sip the soup.
Katherine arrived later to pick them up and she didn't fail to notice Felicity's quietness, she looked at Mercy who just sighed and looked down and Katherine knew what would have happened. She let out a deep breath and silently led Felicity to the car. She should sue Raymond for what he did but she knew he didn't force Felicity. Perhaps it's better like this that they are leaving, at least, now she wouldn't ask of him.
Katherine knew there was more to it than just sleeping with her, maybe he had done something else but she is more than sure Felicity won't talk about it. They left the mansion silently with Felicity just sitting in the back seat with her eyes closed.
?
The next few days, Felicity didn't liven up, she stays in her room all through the day, she hardly eats unless Mercy pleads with her. It wasn't long, she started losing weight, and her once sparkling eyes were always dull. This was worst than when she came back from the hospital and to make the matter worse, Raymond who was the one that helped her recover that time, is the one that hurt her now.
Her quietness was tolling on Katherine and she couldn't take it anymore, this was the reason she never wanted her to associate with any man because she doesn't want her to be heartbroken and now, here she is, heartbroken.
Katherine carried her dinner to her room as she does every night, she entered the room and smiled to her, "I cooked your favorite my darling" she placed it on the nightstand to see the tears glinting on her face, she sighed, "Felicity, again with the tears?" She sat beside her on the bed and wiped off the tears, "is it not enough already? I'm worried about you my dear."
Felicity sighed and without looking at her, she said in a determined voice "I want to become a woman aunty Katy."