End it

He did not let me out of his sight, or better still, I did not want to let him go.
“You know, someone might see you following me like a lost puppy and think that you’ve lost your way” he said, slightly irritated.
“You care for me.” I blurted out my thoughts without even thinking, but it was too late to take it back now.
His back straightened, freezing in his spot. “Did I reach you a little late? Did he perhaps snatch a bit of your reasoning before I reached you?”
The insults did not even faze me anymore, mostly because they now felt like a protective cover. “please, say it. Say that you did not care for me. That I am indeed running mad.” He looked at me with an unreadable expression.
“Mene warns me to stay away from you, but you make it hard. You say harsh words but then turn around and do the most subtle things.”
He rolled his eyes, turning away quickly “I don’t have time for this” he muttered, leaving his office to heaven knows where.
“You say you have memories that you can’t explain!” I yelled, stopping him before he walked away. I could not take another night of restless dreams and memories and then go ahead to act like they meant nothing. “I have them too, these memories.” He looked surprised, like he could not believe it.
“You are lying” he said, pulling his hand from mine. Shocking me. I did not realise when I had held his hand.
“mene told me that we are past lovers?” I said in one breath.
“If you think for a moment that I would willingly love you in this life, then you are mistaken” he said. I wasn’t fazed.
It was not my plan to be with him after all in this life... even though I did not believe in that bullshit. .


I couldn’t keep living like this.

The memories were a relentless plague, infecting every moment of my life, awake or asleep. They clung to me like a second skin, suffocating, impossible to shed. No matter how hard I tried to push them away, they always returned—each time more vivid, more unbearable than the last.

I was exhausted. Not just physically, but in a way that seeped into my soul, draining me of any will to keep going. “ I would rather be caught dead than to be your lover in this world... my lord” I added with a sought bow when I saw that his gaze had turned sharp on me.
I stared a nit too long at his eyes, causing me to cause myself. This was exactly why I needed to state what I needed and hoped that he would agree, although, that might not have to be a problem.
I already followed him around after he save me from.... that man.
Now I was swooning at his gaze, what next?
I needed to stop this madness before it could take even more hold of me.
He studied me for a moment, as if he could see right through me, down to the very core of my being. And maybe he could. “if you have same thoughts as I do, why do you speak of such memories?”

The word hung in the air between us, heavy with expectation. I took a deep breath, steadying myself, and then I said it.

“I have found a way to end it” I whispered, my voice barely more than a breath.
I did not miss the way his eyes lit up as i said it.
I was on the right track if he reacted this way. But why did I get this stinging feeling in my chest when he looked excited at getting rid of the memories that plagued his mind? .
“the memories are starting to cloud our judgement towards one another and make us act in ways we ordinarily would not. What if you end it. Since you can not take my soul, you can just kill me and take it” I said with a straight face.

It might have been because i saw my uncle, but i was suddenly reminded that there was no point in living. Both because on earth and here. It was all useless.

Hades remained silent, his gaze never leaving mine. The calm that had settled over me began to waver, the weight of his silence pressing down on me. I had expected him to say something, anything. To maybe agree with me or to kick against it but he was silent.

“Please,” I added, my voice breaking. “You have the power to do it. Just… you can have my soul.
Finally, Hades moved. He stepped closer, his presence towering over me, and I had to fight the urge to shrink back. His eyes bore into mine, as if he was searching for something deep within me.

“You think, I would free you? From whatever torment you face? “ he had this look of amusement
I nodded, swallowing hard. “Yes. It’s the only way. You would not longer get these memories too. We would be free and....”

His expression darkened, a storm brewing just beneath the surface. “no”

I hesitated, but I couldn’t believe what i was hearing.
“My lord, this is a perfect way for us to..”
“Do you desire to irritate me so?” he said looking like he was few minutes away from biting my head off
“I believe you are the one that is being irritating my lord.” I held myself together despite his gaze. “It is clear that you don’t want there memories, neither do I, this is the easiest solution. We need to be fast Before we unlock more memories that would lead to something we cannot control!”
He walked up to me. Ignoring what I said or looking like he did not care much for what I was saying.
“you want death?” he gripped my neck tightly, making it impossible for me to breath at first...
Then he sniffed me.
I stood still.
He ran his nose along side my neck.
“even my powers refuse to harm you, so what the fuck am I meant to do”