The first memory

The river stynx.
I made my way to the river after placing her body down gently. I needed to get there quickly.
She couldn’t cross. I would not allow it.
I staggered a bit.
This whole process, it felt familiar. Like I had been here before, through this whole process.
*first memory*

Empty
the darkness was pressing in on all sides. I suddenly felt the cold misty air of the place.
Valerie.

She wasn’t here anymore.

I shouldn’t have. I knew the rules, the laws that governed our world. A god, especially the god of the Underworld, was not meant to love a mortal. It was dangerous. The moment we fell in love with humans, we took up their mortality. I knew this, yet foolishly, and yet I couldn’t help myself

Valerie

She was something I could not afford to have, yet I needed. I took in a deep breath.


I had never felt so powerless as I watched her loose her. ‘It was of natural causes.’ I told myself over and over even though it was not true.
I was greedy, I was not ready to give up immortality and yet I wanted a taste of what mortality offered, so the fates took it back.
“Cruel bastards”

I could still see her lying there, her skin pale, her breaths shallow. Her eyes, once so vibrant, were dull, clouded with pain. And yet, when she looked at me, she still managed a weak smile, as if trying to reassure me, to tell me that everything would be okay.

But it wasn’t okay. It wasn’t fair.

“Valerie, please,” I had begged, my voice breaking in a way it never had before. “You can’t leave me. Not like this.”

She reached out, her hand trembling as she touched my cheek. Her skin was so cold, a stark contrast to the warmth I had always felt from her. “Hades,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “It’s... it’s time. I... i .. sc..scared”

“No.” I shook my head, refusing to accept it. “It’s not time. You’re not leaving me. I won’t let you.”

Tears I hadn’t realized I was shedding fell onto her skin, and I felt a surge of desperation, a deep, gnawing terror that threatened to consume me. I was the god of the Underworld, the keeper of souls, but I couldn’t lose her. I couldn’t.

“Please, Valerie,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “Please, don’t go.”

She smiled again, though it was weaker this time, her strength fading with each passing moment.
“No,” I repeated, but the word felt hollow, powerless.

She closed her eyes, her hand slipping from my face. “I love you,” she murmured, her voice so faint I almost missed it.

And then she was gone.

The silence that followed was deafening, an emptiness that echoed through me, leaving me hollow, broken. I had never known such pain, such profound loss. I was the god of death, and yet, I couldn’t bear the death of the one I loved.

I had begged, pleaded with the Fates to bring her back, to give her more time, to let me have just one more moment with her. But they had refused. Even I, with all my power, could not change the course of destiny.
That did not stop me, I ran as fast as my legs could carry me to the stynx but I was stopped.
“I am sorry.” Scylla, my third in command said. Looking at me with pity. She was never one for affections. So she looked lost. “I can help you with any wish my lord.”
“please, she would be reborn.... right?” I looked up to her, like a child looking for assurance from their mother. “ she nodded, looking at me with a small smile.
“I made a deal with Fates. A century of my memories for her to be reborn” she said, smiling at me.
I felt my mouth dry. A lifetime of memories for a god was as important as giving up their powers and mortality.
“,you can’t... you can’t do that” I said. Stunned that she would give up so much for me. Just like that.
“There were nothing fun in them anyways.... “ it was a lie.
She had only loved one person and she waited for his reincarnation that was why she was still here, serving until he came back to cross the river stynx, so that she would cross with him to eternity.
She gave that up...
“What if he comes.. you would not recog...”
“Its been a millennia Hades, maybe it was time to let go” I saw how eyes were teary, she was trying to hold back for my sake.
“plus, you are worth sire, your love is worth. A chance to have what I can’t have” she gave the saddest but most genuine smile I had ever seen.
“Thank you” i said feeling weak. She nodded. Helping me to stand as somewhere along the way, I had fallen to my knees
“can I... get entrance to the depths of the river?” she looked at me with shock for a while.
It was no doubt. The stynx was not one to be toyed with. It drained you of consciousness till you were pulled out, god or human.
Finally, she spoke, her voice quieter, tinged with something like sadness. “You would sleep for her, then? You would abandon your realm, your power, all for the hope of her return?”

“Yes,” I said, without hesitation. “I would give everything for her.”

Scylla was silent for a long moment, and then she lowered her heads, her expression unreadable. “Very well, Hades. I will grant your request. But know this: the Styx is unforgiving. Once you enter its waters, you will be at the mercy of its currents. You may sleep for centuries, for millennia, and there is no guarantee that you will wake when she is reborn. The Styx does not bend to the will of gods.”

“I understand,” I said, my voice resolute. “But it is a risk I am willing to take.”