Chapter 19

SOMA:

Quick. Direct. Precise. That was how Mark’s response came to be. He didn’t beat about the bush. Didn’t even give me enough time to say any other thing before his quick response.

I can’t be with Luis? Why would he say that in the first place? The awkwardness that fills the air has me sitting back down. I sit in a way that would make me look directly at him because there is going to be a lot to talk about.

“And why can’t I be with him?” was the first question I throw at him to begin a mini-interview about the exclusive statement he made.

“He doesn’t deserve you, Soma. That’s just what I know,”

Is Mark already prepared for this or what? Just like his statement that brought about the present moment, his present response was also quick.

“But you don’t even know him,” I claim. I have a bid to defend Luis at this point because it seems Mark is going to be at the edge of not approving him.

“I don’t have to know him before I can tell that he’s not worthy of you.”

“Just because he has no spirit wolf, you think he’s someone that’s way below me? Someone that does not deserve me?” I shake my head and then say, “He might be cursed but it doesn’t make him any different from us. He’s just as strong and agile as every one of us. Have you forgotten what he did already? He didn’t go down in a fight against me and yet you say he’s not deserving of me. There’s a lot of contradiction there if you think about it,”

“Is there anything to think about? I guess not,” he says, oozing a certain kind of confidence that I know from him whenever he’s in a disagreement with me. “You know already about the ‘cursed’ term. Since you do, it means you should also know about the significance surrounding it. Now, tell me, how would it sound to others when word goes out that you, an Alpha, ended up with a wolfless warrior that falls under the outcast notion?”

“Hold it right there, Mark. You’ve known me for so many years and you still think people’s opinion is what I care about in this type of situation? Hell no! And to be honest, I’m disappointed that you would really think of me in such light,”

With that, I stand up from the bed. I was much too annoyed with him now that sitting next to him was not appropriate again. What would even make him get that type of notion about me in the first place?

A sigh comes from him, and when I look at him I could see that he has his head bowed a little. “I’m sorry,” I hear him say before he raises his head to stare at me. He has his hands clamped down on the bed, lifting his body a little in the process. “What I said about people’s opinion must have slipped out of my mouth. I really didn’t mean it that way,”

“It’s fine. I hope that changes your mind about him not being worthy of me,”

The reaction from him already answers the question before he does. It does nothing other than infuriating me more.

“I still stand on my claim, Soma,” he starts to say. “He does not deserve you and I don’t think he ever will. You are not meant to be with a wolfling without a wolf. You deserve much more than that.”

“And the moon goddess? You think she has no idea what she was doing before putting this in place between me and him?”

“The moon goddess also put in place the possibility of rejecting a bond. So, you know what you can do about this...” A pause, and, “Reject the bond!”

“What the hell is wrong with you, Mark?” I yell at him, obviously boiled with anger now. “Are you even listening to yourself? You sound like you’re just spouting the words out of your mouth without even thinking it through,”

“But I'm only trying to establish a point here. I’m trying to help you with what I feel is right for you. You deserve much better than ending up with someone like him,”

“Maybe it’s you who is not deserving of me.”

That simple statement was enough to get Mark to realize the situation was getting to a point that it shouldn’t be. The complicated look on his face said it all.

“What are you talking about now?” he asks, his tone a little inaudible.

I put a hand over my face, frustration completely overwhelming me now. “I don’t know. Just like I have no idea why you are so hellbent on not buying the idea of him and I being together.”

“Your initial statement has a strong meaning that has nothing to do with what is on ground. It sounds like you want to push me out of your life. Just because of a stranger?”

“Not just any stranger. He’s someone with a name. Luis — that’s his name. And he’s also someone that could end up being with me with or without your approval because I don’t think any of it counts.”

“Maybe we should both take a chill pill here and go over this situation together again. I’m sure we could come to a compromise,”

I shake my head in disapproval as I put my hand down from my face. “I’ve got a better option,” I say, looking all gingered up to announce despite the annoyance I have for my supposed best friend. “Maybe you should just leave...”

“You want me to go?”

“Yeah, because I already know what you mean when you say we should come to a compromise. You are going to try to convince me not to be with him but I don’t see that happening. What are even your intentions? Why are you adamant about me not being with him? Why?”

Mark gets up to his feet. Mixed feelings twirl in me from seeing him having this complicated look etched on his face. A part of me wants to take his advice. Another part wants me to beat his ass down for even thinking of mentioning such a thing about rejection to me.

Why has everything about today been so complicated?

Mark eventually starts to speak, “I only want the best for you. I can promise you that there’s nothing else involved in this other than me wanting you to get what you deserve. You are my best friend, so whatever I’ve been putting out to you is only in your best interest.”

“Sorry best friend, but I won’t be taking any of your ‘best for me’ this time around. So, please, just leave. I want to be left alone,”

He stands still while staring at me for about ten to fifteen seconds. It was much of a pressure for me to handle but I didn’t flinch nevertheless. I wasn’t going to let him get through me.

And about twenty seconds after, he turns and then starts to walk away from my presence. Even when I hear him pull the door open, I do not look in his direction. The time I do that eventually is when I hear that he has shut the door close completely.

I feel my knees go weary the moment I know that I have been left alone. And it has me collapsing knee-down to the floor, almost in full force due to how much impact.

The frustration from everything that has happened today was enough to put me to this point. Almost every aspect of my being at the moment was weak and if care is not taken, I could break down. Haven’t felt this weak in years.

‘Are you okay?’ Rainia says to me.

My eyes were already closed as I bow my head when I say out loud, “I’m not.” I then switch to the telepathic means, but repeating the same words, ‘I’m not.’

I feel a little relaxed with the position I’m in presently. Not that there was anything really soothing about it, it just gave me a type of relaxing feeling that I have not had in a while.

‘Is being cursed really a bad thing, Rainia?’ I have to ask my wolf because only she can give me a much-deserving answer in this situation.

‘It’s not, Soma. The only problem is the society we live in that views it as the worst thing that can ever happen to a wolfling. Most times the curse comes with a gift like what happened to Luis. He might not be with a wf but he has been granted the strength and prowess equal to wolflings with a spirit wolf,’

‘But I do not know much about the term. Is it a less common thing among our kind?’

‘It would be... if you were the type that puts a lot of interest in the things that go on among our kind.’

I ignore the apparent banter she throws at me. What I have going through my mind now has no room to give it back to her. Everything feels so choking that I wish I have another means to ensure I feel much better about my situation. But nothing seems to be an option here. Not even Mark’s disapproval.

It’s just me now. I am my option, and I have to work on it myself.