31. This Mother Plumber!

***Emara Stone***

My hair swirls due to wind as I calmly walk on the lonely road.
No vehicles are visible, neither in front nor behind. Just me and the orange sun, and we both slowly stride towards the south.
Suddenly my head swings back as I hear a loud honk. I squeal in panic as a black color sedan car stops right beside me at super-fast speed. The tire of the car releases smoke with the sudden brakes, and brown eyes stare down at me.
"Are you going somewhere, mate?"
I stare back at the man with a moustache. He is wearing a red bandana on forehead with long deadlock hair. His beard is braided in two ponies and secured with beads in the end. *Oh, wait... I have seen him before.*
"You... You are Jack Sparrow, right?"
He scrunches his nose as he corrects me in his half-drunk voice, "Captain. Captain Jack Sparrow."
I gasp as I gawk at him. He is real!
Captain Jack Sparrow keeps his elbow on the window and sniffs in the air, "My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled."
*What a genius!*
I nod. "I am lost." The kind Captain throws his hand as he actions me to hop in his car. I immediately get in and we rode off on the lonely highway at a super-fast speed.
My hair swirls in the wind. The sun is slowly setting in front of us, creating a mesmerizing pink-ish-orange hue in the sky. *Beautiful.*
"Brace yourself because we are close to the world's end." Suddenly he alerts me as he steers into the topmost gear. I clutch my seat in panic as the speed of the car crosses the speedometer's limit. "What?" I scream in horror.
Captain Jack Sparrow points towards the sun that is about to disappear behind the trees and says, "Sun down. We rise up."
He then points his finger in all the directions and says, "Up is down. Down is up."
I couldn't understand him but tightly grip my seat as he drives at a suiciding speed. I look for seat belts but there is nothing in its place. Not even a parachute is under my seat.
"Hold the Kraken."
He throws a small rotten cage at me that contains an octopus, which is puking green jelly everywhere. I shriek in horror as I try to grab anything but the octopus to compose myself as the car hits a small hill and turns upside down in the air and a bright light spreads in the sky.
The light sharply pierces through my lens as I open my eyes to the annoying beeping sound of the alarm clock.
* *Beep* *
* *Beep* *
Oh Fuck it!
Wait... what was I dreaming again?
. . .
I walk alone on the lonely campus road of my college. Lecture started about half an hour ago, but I don't give a fuck. I feel like my battery is low today.
The whole world can fuck itself with a tiny dildo and I won't give a damn about it.
I whistle while carefreely walk. There are no humans on the path, it is free to run and lie down. No Instagram model is ogling me with her envious eyes nor any guy is staring at my ass.
*I like coming late.*
Suddenly, my steps halt as I see a familiar black car parked on my way. The Devil's trident stands erect and shines proudly on its bonnet.
I clench my fist and grit my teeth in anger as I remember what Ryan did yesterday. That bastard left me on the high way and ran off where there was no service of taxies. It took me two fucking hours to get back to my home, walking alone on my tiny legs.
I peek inside the car but see nothing. The tainted black windows of the car are as black as Ryan's soul that doesn't allow me to look inside it.
I cover my eyes with my palms and try harder to look inside the car. But all I could see is my eyes staring right back at me.
"Are you looking for me?" A deep racy voice rings in my ears.
*FOOK!*
My head swings back so fast that I might have developed a crack in my neck. My eyes open wide in shock and my heart flushes down to my stomach as I look at him.
"How do I look, chica?" Daniel asks me, pointing at his hair. I gasp and almost faint looking at his blue bleached hair.
*This motherplumber!*
Daniel smugly runs his fingers through his bright blue hair that was black till yesterday. I gulp the tart taste of saliva as I look at the mess in front of me. But the thing is, I just looked at the crack, the whole booty is yet to be observed.
My eyes take in his whole attire. Daniel is wearing a plain black color t-shirt with dirty denim jeans and white shoes, just like me. With one look, we both look like each other's doppelgängers.
*Please don't tell me he did it all to look like me?*
"Don't we look like a couple?" Daniel asks flirtatiously as he takes a step towards me. My heart screams as he keeps his hand beside my head, on the car’s window and purrs, "What a nice girl like you is doing in my dirty mind?"
Truth to be told, whenever I see Daniel, I get dry. Everything just suddenly gets dry down there.
"I must have lost my way." I reply uninterested to which he simply nods getting a little closer. I bury my head in the car's metal as he leans down to me and says in his husky voice,
"Do you want to go on a ate? I'll give you the D later." And winks.
*Voila... Now I am a lesbian.*
"I-ay no. I don't think so-" I gently push him aside to create some space but suddenly I take a sharp breath as I see Shawn walking towards us in his pastel blue bleached hair wearing a black tee, denim jeans, and white chucks. just like mine.
*What did I eat this morning?*
Daniel stands tall as he looks at his friendly mate with piercing fierce eyes. "Shawn!" He grits his teeth as he looks at his attire.
Funny thing, they both look like a couple now. *Lol.*
"Bro, why the fuck you stole my idea?" Shawn asks hurtfully as he looks at his bro's hair and clothes. Daniel points his finger at him and aggressively growls, "YOUU STOLE IT." Shawn assertively steps forward with his finger in the air aimed at Daniel, "NO YOU DID!"
I lean on the car and look at them quarrelling, accusing each other of their mistake like a newly wedded couple. And then I look at my reflection in the black glass. Fuck!
We three look like triplets, whose parents dressed them alike so they don't lose any of them.
These irresistible blockheads are getting on my nerves now. I quietly walk away from their way.
*I just fucking hate everyone.*