50. Bastard of Bastards

**Emara Stone**

*'Sup'*
I stare at Ryan's message, wondering what to reply to his utterly casual text as if nothing fuckery happened between us the last night.
I bite my lip as I type the riskiest text of my life, *'Hi, did you use a condom last night?'* My pussy quacks and pulsates hard as I bring my thumb slowly to the send button.
"Should I ask him directly?" I ask Ana for expert advice as I show her the text.
"NO!" She snatches the phone from my hand and deletes the message saying, "What if he uploads your conversation for fun? Just reply anything chill and ask him to meet you." She hands me my phone back.
She is right. Though he popped my cherry, I still can't trust that BoB. Bastard of bastards.
*'Nothing much. Watching Netflix and chilling ;)'*
I chew my nail in anticipation as I stare at my casual text and wait for his reply. Suddenly my phone vibrates with an instant message. I eagerly open to read it.
*'Girl, I'll fuck the Netflix out of you if you didn't complete my reports by tomorrow.'*
I continue to stare at his message. The way his words fiercely bark back, I wonder what page of my lusty book will he upload next? Oh please, not the sex scene.
Ana leans down to my ear and whispers, "That's a sexual innuendo if you didn't get it." I look at her with curved eyebrows and a thick layer of confusion on my face, "In-you-and-do?"
"Oh god Emara, you are so naïve. Can't you see? Ryan is indirectly giving hints that he wants to fuck you again, probably tomorrow."
"Oh god! Really?" I ask her with ragged heartbeats. We just did it today!
"No Emara. Don't be a weak pussy. Be like OTP, so no one can use you twice." Ana reminds me of the powerful pussy I own. "You are right, Ana." I nod my head aggressively.
I am the most desirable and pre-eminent Princess of far lands that could be a weapon of mass destruction of that evil butt Prince.
"Yup, but what is this report he is talking about?" Ana asks focusing on the message.
*Oh my Guinness World Record!*
How the hell I am going to complete those Godzilla size reports that I didn't even start and that too in one moon night with no magical powers? I look at Ana with a puppy face as I mew, "Boo, I badly need your help."
. . .
I woke up with less tantrums and least energy. I take a quick shower and collect those reports, along with some extra money to treat Ana for helping me write them all day.
Never in my life, I have ever submitted anything on time, nor even my exam paper. But today I am breaking records. My name should be written in golden words in the hall of fantabulous people who help others.
I wait for Ana at the gate of the college, we both had decided to bunk our first lecture to draw the last few diagrams of the report before that mad dolphin bites my ass off.
We casually walk around in the empty campus, appreciating the silence and nature. "College actually feels good without lectures and motherfuckers." I breathe in fresh air without numerous eyes glaring at my butt.
"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women." Ana comments as we walk past by the empty campus devoid of dicks.
I look at Ana and smile. She is as cool as ice on cucumber.
"Aye girl, you got something on your ass." I hear a thick husky voice behind me.
My head turns 180 degrees as soon as I hear his diarrhea voice. My face turns sour as I look at the most pungent and decomposed version of human with thick sunglasses and blue hair on top.
*This motherfather!*
Daniel lowers his glasses as he raunchily looks at me smirking, "My eyes. Your ass caught my eyes chica." He whistles at the end.
I control the flavor of puke in my throat as I stare at his blue bleached hair that looks like toilet water.
"Looky looky at the size of my shoe, you know what they say, yea it is true." I perplexedly look at him as the sheephead points at his new Nike Air while he jiggles it left and right.
*The fuck this motherzipper is saying?!*
Suddenly the shithole jerks his sunglasses off in mere shock as he looks at my side and yells excitedly, "AMY!"
*Amy?*
"Dante?"
*Dante?*
Wait.. I think I have heard these names before.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Ana screeches horrifyingly.
"Fuck! We are in the same college and I was looking for you all over Instagram." Daniel sneers merrily. I look at both of them confusedly as I try to decode the Déjà vu mystery.
"Oh, no no." Ana freezes in shock as if someone threw her into the deep waters of Danny trench, a psychotic place where irreversible maniacs are created.
Whereas Daniel looks like he is in heaven, his eyes look blissful as if he borrowed them from an angel. "Damn girl, are you my recent test score, coz you are an F... Fucking hot."
*What is going on?*
"By the way, which magazine do you model for?" Daniel smirks as he tries hard to be seductive. I stare at this butthead, who looks like broccoli, and wonder who the fuck is he trying to impress now?
"Ana, you know Daniel?" I ask her being highly confused. *Damn! Calculus was easy than this.*
"Ana?" Daniel asks doubtfully with joined eyebrows, "You lied to me about your name, Amy?"
I watch Ana roll her eyes as she spats, "Don't pretend like you didn't."
"I lie to everyone, but-t why did you lie to me, baby?" Daniel looks in pain as he keeps his hand on his chest and stares at Ana disappointedly. "I dreamed of rocking your world every night."
*What this rabbit is saying?*
Ana folds her arms as she pronounces boldly, "Get over yourself, boy. It was just a one-time thing."
"You mean one time every day, right?" Daniel asks with puppy eyes.
"Wait... you slept with him?" My eyes pop out of my skull as I yell at Ana pointing at the junkhead, "WITH HIM?"
*Was she on crack? Or too blind to see this arse crack?*
"Oh god Emara, I wish I could explain it to you." I still can't believe it. I mean she had a good taste in men or that's what I thought.
"But why didn't you tell me? I had told you everything." I ask her dejectedly. I thought we were best friends forever and ever.
"Ladies please, control your orgasms." Daniel steps in between us as he edicts, "Stop fighting for me."
"What?" I dubiously stare at not the sharpest word in the dictionary.
Daniel takes a deep breath as he states, "Fine. We will have a threesome."
"Ewww no." Ana immediately coughs up, feeling disgusted by the thought while I think I just puked in my panties.
"Oh you have a very sexy cough." He grins raunchily staring at Ana, "Wanna catch covid the fun way?"
Daniel should carry around a plant to replace the oxygen he is wasting.
Ana grabs my hand and begins to walk away from the blue seahorse, who is catching upon us fiercely. "If I was an octopus, I would have given you all my three hearts, Amy."
"Well you already look like an octopus to me." Ana spats back at Daniel which made him laugh out hard. "Damn gurl, are you a volcano? Coz I lava you!"
"Are you a fire alarm? Coz you are so loud and annoying." Ana retorts furiously as we get to the cafeteria. Daniel follows us while I choose the most solitude corner table and pull out the reports to complete the diagrams.
He smoothly slides on the chair beside Ana and huskily whispers, "Are you from China? Coz girl, I am China get into your pants."
"Are you Hitler? Coz nobody likes you." Ana counter attacks on his pick-up lines. Daniel chortle like a crackhead as he throws his head back and laughs uncontrollably.
*He badly needs a checkup!*
Ana avoids the motherplumber beside her and helps me with the figures. After some time, I look up and find Daniel smelling Ana's hair. His nose is buried in her locks as he sniffs her like cocaine. I face palm.
*What this bitch is doing?*
Daniel gently plays with Ana's hair as he murmurs, "Judging by your hair, you seem like a girl who likes to do anal."
I bite my cheeks and concentrate on drawing diagrams as I hear some shuffling of hands. "What is your problem?" Ana growls, dragging her chair away from him. Daniel copies her action and drags his chair closer to hers.
Daniel is one weird case that would even turn his psychiatrist into a patient.
"If you sit on my face, I promise I'll eat my way to your heart." He whispers softly in a heavy voice. "Shut up." Ana grips the pencil in her hand as she glares at him threateningly as if she will carve out his kidneys just to watch them barbecue.
"Gurl, you so fine that I should call the doctor if I don't have an erection in every 10 minutes." The dickhead full-on flirts with Ana ignoring me or anyone else on the planet.
I still can't believe he forgot about me.
*I thought he was into me. I mean, look at his ugly blue hair.*
"Isn't it hard to get an erection when you are so used to rejection?" Ana snigger sarcastically, which just made him smile more.
"Hmm, but I believe my girl is Medusa, coz you make me rock hard in seconds."
"I am not your girl." Ana barks at him inhumanly.
"Fine, my bitch." He pouts at her teasingly.
Ana slaps her hands on the table as she loses her mind and snarls, "Why won't you just shut up?” I watch her with wide eyes as she breathes in fumes and exhales hot flames.
"I swear I am not on crack, I just to smack that booty." Daniel justifies his presence innocently. This penguin hoe!
"Just fucking leave."
"Fine. Give me your number and a kiss, then I'll go." Daniel talks business on the table.
"You promise?" Ana asks with a petite voice. Daniel licks his lips as he leans down and nods slowly.
My mouth drops open as Daniel presses his lips to Ana's while they lip-lock in front of me. His tongue passes in front of my eyes into Ana's mouth as they take a toll on French land.
*I can't. I can't watch my best friend sacrificing for me.*
After a series of tongue wrestles, Daniel happily walks away with Ana's number imprinted on his hand. The way he looked content with himself, I am pretty sure he won't wash his hand or brush for a week.
"Thank you so much, boo." I cry in Ana's arms as we finally complete all the charts and diagrams of the report just before the lecture ends.
She gently pats my head saying, "Get me pizza and go smash this file on that fucker's face."
I gather the fatass folder and DM Ryan's evil butt to meet me at the student's locker for the file. My heartbeat rises and falls rapidly as I think of ways to ask him about the other night.

*Do you remember, if you gift-wrapped your member?*
*Did you cover your harry, before popping my cherry?*
*Did you wrap it in foil, before covering it with my oil?*
*Did you condomize, before slipping in between my thighs?*
*Did you dress your penis, before meeting in my Venice?*

The crowd keeps on increasing, but there is no sign of an asshole with dark hooded eyes and a chiseled jawline among them. My hands along with my feet and pussy sweat nervously as I walk like a pendulum in the hall.
I take in oxygen deep into my lungs and suddenly my breath chokes on to the molecules of gas as I see Ryan walking towards me in his six feet tall figure, packed up in his black shirt with the first three buttons undone and with untamed messy hair looking wild in his unpure form.
*Oh fuck me god!*