53| Not being able to trust Emaus

Maggie POV

She was looking at me, closing her eyes in sequence, and covering her ears with her hand and opening them to confirm I was the person speaking to her.
"Are you being serious?" She asked.
I nodded, but she still wouldn't believe it.
She placed her hands against my thighs. "Tell me you are not joking!"
"Do I look like I am?"
Our conversation had gone back to the way it was before the issue of her dream came up. The way she smiled gave me memories of those days.
"But first tell me about him, the feeling he stirred up in you. Tell me."
She was blushing, and each time she tried to form words, a chuckle always covered up what she wanted to say.
"We are friends, aren't we? Just open up to me. It's no big deal to have sex after all."
I could not remember the last time I used such words for her, calling her a friend of mine.
"I enjoyed every moment of it."
She just wanted to be brief. It was still obvious that she did not want to say everything just because she felt awkward.
"Had he forced you into it?"
"He can never do such a thing."
I wanted to pour out my mind, and at the same time, express my thoughts to quench my curiosity.
"Did he seduce you?"
"Seduce?" She frowned. "Must it always be through seduction?"
"Not always."
"What if I told you I seduced him?"
That could not be it, Leah seducing a man? Octavier was capable of doing that, but not Leah. She was so innocent that she had been able to keep herself away from sex. I had not been able to attain such fits, I was much like Octavier.
"I know there's no way you had seduced him. I don't need evidence for that."
"I seduced him."
"That's false."
"No it isn't."
"I would believe it if you tell me how everything had started. Can you?"
She was contemplating. "Can I say we just started off?"
"How is that?"
"Like we just found ourselves in it."
That wasn't satisfactory, I was too curious to let go of the information.
"Who made the first move?"
"It was a surprise move. I had mistakenly placed his hands on my breasts."
So she made the first move. There was no need to ask further questions concerning that, lest it becomes too detailed for me to hear. How would it have felt if I had asked her about the sexual experience?
Some things are not meant to be known, just assumed, and I assumed he wasn't rough on her.
"When am I going to see him?" She asked.
I shook my head. "He will have to come over, we can't risk it."
Just then, Emaus' companions, or whatever he called them, noticed our presence, and they quickly stopped the act they wanted to start. The boy had already zipped down his trousers.
"Mom, when is Emaus leaving?"
She was never going to accept him as family, and I also found it hard to consider him as a father to me.
"He has a lot to do before leaving."
She wasn't satisfied with my answer, and from the way she talked, she felt we were considering everything he wanted for her.
"You are planning to do as he wants, isn't that so?"
Her face had lost its cheerfulness, and the thoughts of Emaus had caused it.
"No, definitely no." I held her face. "Emaus had only brought suggestions, and it's for Aaron and me to go into proper reasoning."
"You still have to reason if I should be sold to him?"
She gave me a deep look of disappointment, sending shivers down my spine.
"There's no way we will sell you out. You have to know that. Never in this lifetime."
"Is selling me out not the same as making him go with him?"
How was I going to explain to her?
I had considered making her stay away from Grimes, but it was just an impromptu idea for her to meet up with Grimes.
"No one is making you go with him. Believe me."
"I should believe you?"
"Yes."
Maybe I was going to quicken up Emaus' stay with us. It was upsetting Leah, and I had to cut to the chase of his stay.
Three of the boys that had come with him, came to the garden, but turned back when they caught sight of us.
"We can't really trust him," Leah said. "His so-called guards or companions are too many. What if they were acting as spies?"
I needed to come to terms with him. He might be too sly for me to handle.
Breakfast was served, and I made sure I was directly opposite him, looking into his eyes at each moment I had got.
"Emaus." I called, making everyone raise their heads to look at me.
He was looking at me, waiting for me to say what I wanted to.
"You aren't saying anything," he said.
I had begun to feel that the manner in which I had called his name showed no respect. Was I acting out of necessity or out of rage for the past? I was not convinced of a particular reason, but I knew he might be a threat to us.
"What are your intentions?" I asked.
"My intentions?" His face had changed from the way it was.
It felt like he was trying to hold something within himself.
"Yes, I want to know all of them."
"But it all depends on you."
What did he mean by that?
"I don't get you."
He relaxed himself against the chair, showing some ease. "I want to meet Kate, your mother. That's my main reason for coming."
"And?"
"I also heard of Leah, that was why I decided to come, but the choice all depends on you."
"Kate had made it clear she wanted to be left alone for a while, except something of utmost importance."
"I should qualify for that, don't you think so?"
"What if she doesn't want to see you?"