Chapter 58 Do You Trust Me?

Anna glared at him and tapped her foot. “the next words out of your mouth had better be “I’m sorry because anything less is just going to tick me off.”
John felt the blood rise in his face and realized just how mad he was. He was tired of seeing the way men looked at Anna. She didn’t see it, but he did. He had never been particularly trusting of his own sex where Anna was concerned and after the Anthony pictures, he was sick of it.
“Why would I apologize when that guy was just hitting on you?”
“He wasn’t hitting on me! He’s my new executive assistant, I was trying to get to know him.”
“He was certainly trying to get to know you, I heard him ask you out, how is that even appropriate? You are his boss.”
“You are crazy, he wasn’t asking me out, he was trying to be friendly.”
“Any more friendly and he would have had you in his lap.”
“I’m sorry?” Anna breathed harshly unable to believe he would say such a thing “Since when do you think I’m a Wh&*e?”
John raked his fingers through his hair and cracked his knuckles. “For god’s sake, I don’t think that!”
“Really? Since when do you come into my office, and act like a crazy moron?”
“When I hear you two laughing together like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like life is carefree.”
“What am I supposed to do, tell my new employee about how screwed up the past month has been? Why would I want to bring a fresh face into this hell cycle?”
“You didn’t seem upset at all and I guess that’s what bothered me.”
“My sounding happy bothered you? Why would it bother you?” She said in disbelief as she approached him “Why would my sounding happy not be okay?”
John turned and stalked to her window leaning against the frame. He couldn’t look at her. Even as he heard the words coming out of his mouth he knew he was being a jerk. It was like the filter had been removed from his mouth and he couldn’t stop it.
“Answer me, she hissed as she pushed her way between him and the window “You owe me that at least.”
“I have been miserable and I guess I wanted to feel like you knew where I was coming from.”
The statement fell between then like a brick. John turned his head away from the disbelieving gaze Anna was leveling at him. “You want me to be miserable?” She asked quietly.
“No, God, Of course not,” He seethed as he turned back and began to pace “I just wanted to feel like you and I are on the same page after all that’s happened. I feel like we take one step forward and then the universe smacks us down and we are right there again, on unsteady ground.”
Anna couldn’t believe John’s attitude. It was like he was alone in all this drama. John had no idea what it meant to be unsettled and miserable, living alone in Los Angeles all those years was miserable. Anna had seen enough out of control jealousy in her life to last a lifetime and she was not going to put up with it now.
“You think this hasn’t been hard on me? Do you remember the talk we had at breakfast this morning? Remember I told you I did not want any more drama after all that has happened?’
“That guy was all over you though and he even asked you to watch movies and compare the two, he was asking you out!”
“He was trying to get to know me.”
“He was asking you out.”
“NO, he was not,” Anna shouted not caring who heard “That would be inappropriate as he is my employee and I happen to be married.”
“He didn’t know that!” John yelled back.
“I was going to mention it when you barged in like a hungry dog guarding its bone, you might as well have peed on me to mark your territory!”
“Then maybe he will stop sniffing around you! Maybe I just need to get you an assistant who’s not going to hit on you.”
“As if I would cheat on you anyway! How can you trust me when the pictures came out but now suddenly you don’t?
“I’m just tired of having to defend you.”
Anna counted to ten and walked to her desk picking up a snow globe that they bought in Gatlinburg on a weekend trip there when they were dating. She seriously wanted to throw it at him.
“I can take care of myself, I don’t need you to defend me.”
“It feels like I always have to.”
“What do you expect me to do? I’m taking things as they come, I’ve trusted you and I thought you trusted me.”
John eyed the snow glove in her hand wondering if she would hit him with it if she threw it or if he could manage to duck. He wanted to stop but some demon in him kept urging him on.
“I want to trust you but I keep having to practically beat guys off of you.”
“Excuse me?” She screamed as she threw the snow globe at him and it busted as he managed to duck. “What about Erin at our anniversary party? I found you on our bed with her leaning over you half-naked. I trusted you enough to try and make this work even after what I saw with my own eyes. How dare you stand there and act like I can’t be trusted when I’m talking to my assistant?”
John was speechless as he brushed pieces of glass off his sleeve and stared at her in horror. Not horror at what she had done but horror at what he had said to her. He held his hands out to her as he took in her dilated pupils and heavy breathing. Her eyes shone with tears that were slowly leaking from the corners and John’s stomach dropped.
“Anna, “He started trying to come toward her as he felt all the jealousy drain out of him, “oh God I’m so…”
“Don’t say you’re sorry John, sorry isn’t going to cut it this time.”
“Anna please, “he begged as she grabbed her keys and began to push past him. John tried to grab her arm but she jerked away glaring at him.
“Don’t touch me and don’t follow me, I mean it. I can’t even look at you right now.” Anna said as she walked away. She didn’t look back and John felt dread wrap around him. He stood there wondering if he was watching Anna walk out of his life and he knew it was all his fault.