A Final Confession

I lay on my bed with my legs hanging off. The past week was difficult to get through. The guilt towards Maeve kept eating at me, and Elau has avoided me all week. When I entered a room he would leave, if I try to catch him leaving he acted like he doesn’t see me, and he hasn’t once stepped into our grove.

I really can’t stand not talk to him all week. I think talking would make both of us feel better. I massage my temples working out all the stress. “Yep,” I say to myself sitting up, “I gotta talk to him.” I stand and walk over to my door but stop before leaving.

I’ve seen him walk back to his room so I know what general area it is in, but once I get there I can’t be seen by his guards. “I’ll just take a peek and if I can’t get past I’ll come back to bed.” I assure myself and open the door.

I step out into the hallway and quietly shut my door. I traverse the halls like a snake and try my best to stay in the shadows. God, this is probably the dumbest thing I have ever done, but if breaking into a Prince’s room is the only way I can talk to Elau, then that is what I am going to do. I make it to the end of the hall leading to Elau’s chambers and peek around the corner for the guards. The hallway is empty with no one standing guard. I pause, not sure if I should burst into his room or not.

“So Gerald went ahead and ate it.” A man’s voice comes from behind me with laughter.

“Seriously, that is disgusting.” Another says, as the guards come from the hallway behind me. I run over to Elau’s door and rush inside slamming it behind me in a panic.

“Excuse me? Can I help…” Elau emerges from his bathroom and stops speaking when he sees me. “How did you get past my guards?”

“They weren’t there, but they are now so shhhh.” I say in a hushed tone.

“How am I going to get you out of here, Niccola? You can’t be seen and I can’t believe you would be this dumb.” He walks away from me with a huff and sits on a couch in the middle of his room.

“If you weren’t avoiding me I wouldn’t have to stoop to this level, but I haven’t been able to say a word to you all week.” I walk over to him sitting on a chair adjacent to the couch.

“I’ve just been busy.” He mutters not looking at me.

“Elau, please, we need to talk. You can’t avoid me forever, I won’t let you.”

“Then talk.”

“I well… I don’t really know what to say. I can tell you are upset, but I can’t read you mind.” I huff and lean onto the chair’s arm. “I guess what I can tell you is how I’ve been feeling this week.” I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. “I have been feeling guilty. Maeve is my friend and I feel like what I did was selfish.... I have been feeling scared. I’m worried about our relationship and if it has been affected...” I pause looking down at my hands. “And I’ve been confused…. I… that kiss was amazing.”

As I say this he finally looks over at me, “I’ve never felt like that before, and if I am being honest I have liked you for so long and I’ve been too afraid to say anything. When I think about you being engaged to Maeve it hurts so much and I have been trying to put a brave face on, but when you kissed me like that something changed and I don’t think I can keep being brave. So I guess my issue is that if you kissed me because of wedding nerves I need to put my feelings aside and learn how to be your friend and Maeve’s friend again.” I look away from him embarrassed, ashamed of my feelings. Moments later I feel his hand scoop up mine as he sits on his knees in front of me.

“Nic…” He stares at me but doesn’t say anything.

“It’s okay if you don’t have feelings for me, I’ll get over…”

“No, Nic, don’t you understand. It has always been you.” I stare at him, not sure what he means, “Niccola, I have been in love with you since the day you fell into the grove.” He smiles brightly at me and curresses my cheek. My heart beats rapidly, and my body flushes with heat. Elau loves me? I think to myself.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, and I should have refused to get engaged to Maeve. Honestly I didn’t expect them to bring up marriage anytime soon so when they did I was shocked. I couldn’t refuse without knowing how you felt because if I was wrong about your feelings for me, it would be for no reason.” He pulls me down into his lap.

“Elau… I”

“I should have told you. I should have just told the world. Can you forgive me, Nic?” He hugs me tightly.

“Of course, but Maeve.” I push away from him slightly, but he pulls me back tighter burying his head in my neck.

“I’ll end the engagement. I’ll refuse.” My stomach flips hearing this.

“And if they don’t let you. I just don’t think we should get our hopes up.” I stroke his long hair and take a deep breath, closing my eyes and smelling only him.

“I’ll abdicate.” He looks up at me certain.

“Elau you can’t do that!” I say a little too loudly clasping my hand to my mouth a moment after, and listening for the guards.

“I can, because they would never let me abdicate. They would rather lose the security of this wedding than lose their only heir.” He stands pulling me up with him but pulls me instantly into his chest in another embrace. I feel his heart beating next to mine. Pulsing at the same rhythm. It is the best feeling being held by him.

“I don’t know, Elau, it seems…” He pushes me back and looks down at me.

“I am never letting you go again.” He pulls my chin up towards him, “I will fight all of Girandole if it means I get to be with you, Nic.” He presses his lips to mine and instantly my stomach burst with thousands of butterflies. I pull myself closer standing on my tippy toes.

He guides me to the left side of the room and sits on his bed pulling me down on top of him.