20 - Rage

As Lily looked at King Alok with rage heaving in her heart and causing her to breathe rapidly,, she could not help but to remember the words that an old warrior had said to her when she was only a child before he had passed away a few months later. Usually, every night, he would stare blankly into the fire that was crackling loudly just outside their cave and was giving both light and warmth to those around it.
If she was not with Mbazi, Lily would sit near the old warrior trying to distract him from his foreboding by playing with his toes so he would smile at her and play their hand games.
On that particular night, he did not smile down at her and play with her as expected no matter how long she had played with his toes until her own fingers hurt.
Frustrated about that especially as Mbazi had already slept and so could not play with her, she had wanted to stand up and go back into the cave when her hand was held down firmly by the warrior even though he was already very old. Surprised, she sat down and looked at him with curious eyes.
He did not say anything for a full minute and Lily, even though she was just a child, began to feel very angry at him. She had wanted fun even though it was late in the night, not this suspense.
Finally, the old man with a trembling voice that felt he had seen a lot in his many years said: "One thing with war is that despite one side being called the victor, no one really won. There are losses to be incurred on both sides. It may not only be physical defeats but losses of the mind. In war, one sees and hears things that could play with one mind and destroy it terribly if it is not strong. A warrior does not trust…never trust and must learn to control emotions while taking actions. You are Lily, the one sent by the goddess to help strengthen our tribe but that will come with a lot of responsibilities. It saddens my mind to tell you this when you are only a child but I am afraid I am in my eleventh hour and I do not have much time left."
Lily had bent her head to an angle as she memorized the words since she could not understand it. She had planned to ask him when she was sure she would be able to understand it but to her shock, the old warrior had died in his sleep and was buried according to the tribe of Kanyaan as was befitting a warrior.
Still, that had not stopped her from pulling the words out from the crevices of her mind to mull it over once in a while to understand what it meant. She didn't.
Even when she had told Mbazi about the words of the late warrior, he had not understood it as well and had laughed over it as the musing of a crazy old man.
He had never liked the old man, thought him weird with the way he would sit alone in front of the fire every night as if talking to some certain spirit and always wondered why Lily would go near that kind of man not to talk of even playing with him and listening to him.
Disillusioned about what Mbazi had told her about the old man especially as she trusted him, she had been afraid to tell anyone else even Chief Mbari who seemed to be the only other person that the late warrior had talked to besides her.
As she grew up though, she continued to think about it and didn't mention a word of it to anyone else.
Now, as she looked at the King Alok, the disgusted person who had given her this heavy loss that her mind could not still completely comprehend, the words from the warrior swarmed her mind making her to be overwhelmed more with grief as she began to understand for the first time all that the late warrior had told her many, many years before.
One thing with war is that despite one side being called the victor, no one really won.
King Alok broke the silence, his voice was as tired and weary as he looked, full of the knowledge that the end of his ### was very near and certainly was not what he had thought be for him—a hideous death, one that was to never be for a king.
"You are not going to tell me hi? Are you just here to do what both of us know you have in store for me."
"I will not just do it. I will tell you. I will cut you into bits and feed you to the vultures. I will cut off your head and give it to the children in our tribe to play it. I will use your blood to paint the walls of our caves. That is my hi to you, Alok." Lily said with bitterness dripping from her voice as she could not shake off the memory of seeing her best friend of many years lying dead in her eyes. Even as she spoke, the image of his lifeless body that had been pumping with life and energy just hours before was fixated in her mind, making her rage to be fueled continuously.
"That is one unique death that is ascribed to me. Seeing as I have heard a lot about you, about how you came out of the river as a gift from the goddess to lead the fight of your people and seeing this ugly mark on your face even with the poor light from the prison window, I have no doubts that you would do exactly as you had said, perhaps even more. Which leaves me to wonder if this kind of death and humiliation made for me is simply because of my crown or something else."
The question made the rage in Lily's eyes burn brighter even as she tried to control the nerves that had arisen from her surprise as to how King Alok knew that much about her origins.
How did he know? How did the information reach him?
She did not let that disturb her from her mission tonight so she pushed the unnerving questions down to the bottom of her mind for later when she could calmly think about it. But for now, she let her rage fueled by her grief speak
"Do you know who your people killed? Do you know who you killed?"
"I am surprised as to why you would ask that. I believed that my people would kill a number of persons on your side the way you did to our side and had even captured me and brought me to this humiliating place. This is a war after all." King Alok answered coldly.
"No. No, you don't understand, Bastard. It's not just a number of people.. You killed the most important person to me in my tribe, the person who is my best friend, the one who had been riding with me all these years. Mbazi, the person you took from me is not just a number of persons."
Of course, as the Chief Warrior of the Kayaans tribe, as the one who had their fate in her hands, Lily cared about the others that had died but the pain from Mbazi death was incomparable; as if a part of her had been pulled out.
King Alok spat with disgust to the floor before looking unflinching back at Lily horrified eyes as he said " I can not believe you and your tribe have not suspected that there is a sly among you. You claimed to be the one that would rise and become the best thing to ever happen to the tribe of Kayaans; that you would bring them the glory that they deserve, one that was beyond staying within these caves. " His voice seemed to become stronger with each word he said in mockery. " Your tribe claimed to have learned the art and science of war and yet you and your people failed to be sensitive to what could possibly destroy you all. What irony would be greater than this, I ask?"
Lily was confused about the beating around the bush King Alok was playing with her.
That only angered her more. She was not going to stand here in this darkness and listen to this sniveling prisoner play with her mind. She wanted answers and she was going to get it immediately.
She whipped out her knife quickly ,making it cause a ring of light from the moonlight flash in the prison room and pointed it to the neck of King Alok making sure the tip was exactly at his Adam apple that was throbbing up and down.
"I am not here to listen to your rambling about my people and I .I am not here to listen to your ramblings. I am certain you are certain you are trying to play games with him. If it is just that, I would have made sure that your head would be rolling on the dungeon floor right now. But I am certain there is more to this than you are letting on. What is it you know? I demand to know before I clean this hideous place with your blood."
King Alok laughed humorlessly "Whether I am going to tell you who is the spy among you or not, you would still kill me so do not threaten me with those promises that do not even ruffle a strand of my hair in fright. Young woman, I already know my fate. As dreary as it is, I am waiting for it."
Lily's mind was quickly racing to what Chief Mbari had said earlier.
We have reason to believe that we might have a rat in our midst.
The old man had sensed that there was indeed a spy among them but it had been too late. Lily swore to herself that she would give such a rat the worst death imaginable when fished out. She would kill that person who would dare betray the tribe in such an unforgivable way in a way that would leave resounding imprints on the minds of the rest of the people in the tribe so that nobody would dare to think of doing such a sacrilege.
"Who is the person that did this that you speak of? Who is the person and I would make him beg desperately for death?" Lily said, enunciating each word with no single drop of emotion.
King Alok to her dismay laughed for the second time since she had come to meet him in this dungeon. "You know, it's those who we care about that actually struck us the most. Who would believe that it is my son, Chad, who would architect the series of events that would lead to such a pitiful downfall that is mine. Who would believe that it is who you are grieving so much for that would hurt you this way."
Lily's blood went cold. "What are you saying? What are you trying to say?"
King Alok sat straighter and looked directly at Lily's eyes which were now beginning to fill with panic.
"Do you think Mbazi liked how you became Chief Warrior? You think he liked how you won something he had wanted since as a kid? Do you think he was settled with everything as it was?"
"You mean—"
"Yes. I mean that. Mbazi, the person you so grieved for is the person that leaked the blueprint of your war strategy to us. He did that so you all can be destroyed. Since he can not be Chief warrior, he wanted to see you all gone."
Lily's head was dizzy with this new knowledge. For the first time in her life, she was crumbling with shock. She reached for the wall to steady herself. She wanted so badly to not believe King Alok but a look in his eyes told her so clearly that he had not lied to her.
In her shock, the words of the late old warrior, the one that Mbazi had never liked, became so clear in her mind.
…It may not only be physical defeats but losses of the mind. In war, one sees and hears things that could play with one mind and destroy it terribly if it is not strong. A warrior does not trust.