52 -- Wounds.

The sound of silence, the still noise of the isolation cave, that same stillness that comes before the storm is what woke Lily up, scared. She sat up to get a sense of my bearings, noting the dark lighting in the room. The lamp lights were dim but they kept flickering slowly. She would have to get someone to change the oil.
She groaned aloud and fell back into the hard bedding.
Her night had been a roller coaster of wild emotions. She knew she was made of tough skin and that it took a lot to bring her down but still, she had never been hit this hard.
She shouldn't care but she couldn't take her mind of Nicholas. The perfect picture couple they were sure to have made yesterday made her sick to her stomach with jealousy.
She couldn't stand it. It was as though she was looking at a warped portrait. Her heart felt shrunken and sunk. Try as she may to focus her thoughts on other things of importance, they keep drifting back to Prince Nicholas. It's why she had to isolated herself, why she had to hide herself in this room, away from prying eyes so she could lick her wounds in private.
She got up from her bed quickly as one scalded. Even laying on it somehow made her think of him; wishing he was sharing it with her and not the spoiled princess. She walked over to her vanity and absentmindedly started to brush her hair out. She intentionally avoided looking at herself in the mirror. It'll only make her more conscious of how her mark made her an unworthy candidate of romance and it's likes.
She considered braiding her hair tightly but for the headache she felt, she let it flow freely. To busy herself, she took out a map she had taken from the library on a previous occasion. The need to familiarize herself with their neighbouring states so overwhelming, as though all she was looking for was a hideout. Maybe that was it.
Her thoughts kept drifting to last night's events. She had transformed! She fucking transformed! How in the world was that possible? So many questions plagued her and she tried to sift through which was most important right now.
She knew that she had duties today but she couldn't bring herself to attend to them. She didn't even know where to start, how to start, who she should question. The experience was weird and had been very painful. It felt like she was not really in control of her body, like another part of her had finally woken up.
Pretty much explained the feeling of incompleteness she usually felt. She had never wanted to have that feeling. The shock of it was even worse than when she discovered how alike she and Laura were.
She heard a rap at the door which thankfully, stopped her from her train of thoughts. She walked over to the cave door and opened it a bit to peek out. The stationary guard with warm brown eyes presented her with a tray laden with soup and other edibles. Thanking him, she took it and looked down at his weapon that he had propped against the wall.
"You are always supposed to be armed ..." She said, with a touch of annoyance.
"Forgive me commander." He bowed so low, she was afraid he'd fall but then he quickly walked over to get it. She closed the door and set the tray down to have a quick wash.
After changing into fresh clothes, she settled on an apple to start as she reclined on her bed. She was halfway through eating her apple when she heard harsh conversations outside her door. She walked over to see what the fuss was about. Ralph was standing outside and she shut the door in his face when she saw that it was a mere squabble between the guard outside and him.
"Commander Lily." Lily startled, so much so that she almost dropped the decanter of wine she was about to pour into a glass. She hadn't noticed anyone coming in as her thoughts had been thoroughly consumed by the Prince. Her hands flew to her short knife hidden beneath her coveralls as she looked up to see who the intruder was.
Peelah, in a very nonchalant manner, strolled over to make himself comfortable. His hair looked ruffled from sleep and his nose was red from it running fluids. She held back a laugh as he scrunched his adorable face to draw in his nose, keeping it from running.
"My apologies, commander." The other guard that is a bit on the thicker side, spoke up as he made to shut the door. "I told him you were not to be disturbed."
"You said she needed company." Sweet Peelah said, his face contorting in an innocently, honest, confusion expressions. The guard opened his mouth to rebutt Peelah's remark but nothing came out.
"That's okay." Lily said to him, signalling him to shut the door. She looked back at Peelah and noticed him giving her a once-over. She poured the wine and quickly gulped it down before pouring another.
"Can I have some, commander?" Peelah asked with such innocent eyes that'd make anyone fall prey to his wishes. Lily however, knew him better than most and ignored him. He laughed a bit, his dimples coming out to play. Mischievous little miscreant.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong, Peelah." She started playing with the ends of her hair, knowing this conversation would go on for quite a while.
"You look terrible, commander, as terrible as Momma when Pops left." He deadpanned, his eyes fixed on the bland design of the beddings.
"Why thank You for that detailed description, Peeelah." She smiled at him sarcastically and the little wee devil smiled back.
"You're welcome, commander." He replied, his dimples showing with every movement of his mouth. "I heard that the Prince got married to a princess!" He said as his eyes went round with amazement.
"She is a princess. And yes, they're married." She replied as a bitter taste formed in her mouth. The stark difference between Laura and her only added more pain to her scar. She stopped her hand from reaching to touch her face.
"Woah!" He paused and then, "I thought You liked the Prince, Commander."
She choked on her wine. "Why would you think that?" She managed to splutter amidst her cough.
"Just, I like you two better. I thought you'd both marry and live happily together." he said.
"Well, my boy, things don't always end up in happy ways." She could still feel the bile in her mouth.
"Why?" He argued, still not convinced.
"Cause... It's just how it is." She avoided looking at him as she gave the bleak answer. He pondered on that for a while, little frown lines forming between his brows.
"Well... Bullocks!" He finally decided.
"Peelah!" She frowned at him, reprimanding his use of the word and he blushed sweetly in embarrassment.
Peelah kept asking her questions and droning on about different topics that did not necessarily link with the previous. She appreciated the distraction though, it kept her mind off the events of last night. She watched as he slowly drifted into sleep and then she placed him on her bed so he could sleep properly.
She tried to sleep as well but her mind kept drifting to him. She needed to get him out of her head! Standing yet again, she threw on a robe in frustration to shield her from the cold the cave usually had due to its moist walls.
She looked back at Peelah's sleeping form, wishing sleep would come to her that easily as it had him. She made her way out the door, much to the surprise of the guard that brought her breakfast. The other just looked bored which she knew was just a facade he wore otherwise, he wouldn't have revealed that much to Peelah.
She ignored them both and made her way to the library, the bored guard trailing behind her. He didn't have to though, she thought, as her fingers played along the body of her sword that she had donned.
Luckily for her, the library wad isolated. She quickly made her way to the history section and selected books on Licanthropy. Blindly makingy way through the shelves, she settled on a spot near a make shift window so she could feel a little bit of sunlight. She flipped through the pages hurriedly, trying to find out answers to the questions plaguing her about her unexpected and very surprising shift.
All she could see was the common knowledge and facts about werewolves most already knew by heart. None however, explained how one can go so long without shifting to a wolf as with her case. She closed the book frustratedly and made her way back to her room, shutting herself in and away from everything.
A week passed and still, my frustration about my transformation and Nicholas's marriage to Laura hadn't dissipated. She'd spent everyday, every precious moment trying to forget him. Occupying her time with strenuous excersises in her isolation room or with books in the library to find out who she really was, proved to be a difficult work. She always left the library feeling more dejected and further confused. If she thought her emotions hsd been all over the place a week ago, it could not be compared to right now.
Her patience easily ran out and she hadn't been out to see the others training. Her anger also heightened as she couldn't quell the surge of emotions.
"Kayla right?" She questioned her, desperately wanting to get answers.
'Yes, commander." she bent meekly, stopping her folding of the former sheets.
"What do you know about werewolves?"
"What do you mean, commander?"
Lily sighed frustratedly as she noticed her confusion. "What I'm asking is if you know any exceptional details to being a werewolf or about them in general?" She asked the question in the best way possible. No one could know what her true intentions were for asking about werewolves.
"N-not really, commander. I only know that it is healthy for a werewolf to transform from time to time s-so as to avoid their wolf from simply dying off. I heard that it happened a lot frequently than possible. Means they really don't want to be the way they are." She said, going a bit red in the face when she realized that she had rambled.
"Have you ever heard of a dormant wolf gene?" She threw out, angry that her answer just made things worse and all the more confusing for her.
"No, never, commander." She shook her head as if to prove to her that she didn't actually know a thing.
"Alright, you may continue." Lily said, dismissing her and walking over to her vanity, still not satisfied with the answers she had gotten. She watched her leave through the mirror and groaned aloud, frustrated at herself.
In over a week, she hadn't felt that same way she had. It was as if she hadn't even shifted at all. Yes, she still felt another part of her, dormant. Try as she may to force the transformation, nothing had happened. She wouldn't want to suddenly transform when she wouldn't be able to control herself. She didn't want to hurt anyone.
If there was anyone that knew anything about the werewolves, it would be the high priestess. The more Lily thought about it, the more it made sense. She was the only one who would know more about where Lily had come from.
She hurried across the village till she came to a stop at the high priestess cave. She wasn't going to knock, if she really was all seeing, she'd know that Lily stood outside.
She pulled back the tarp standing in as a door to her cave when the high priestess didn't call her forward and she stepped in. The high priestess had her back to her and Lily suddenly grew angry.