Chapter twenty one

Maggie's Pov
My countenance fell at the priest's announcement. All the words he said out loud replayed slowly in my head and I couldn't help but blame myself.??
It was all me! If I hadn't been born, this wouldn't have happened! If I wasn't so clumsy and didn't fall when trying to escape, this wouldn't have happened! If I didn't decide to go to collect fresh air that late at night, this wouldn't have happened! Now, what do I fucking do?
Clara had warned me. She said I shouldn't be the reason why Alpha Julian is lying unconsciously on the bed and now I was in for it. Subconsciously, I began to fiddle with my fingers as I tried to contain the tears that had welled up in my face. After about a minute of fiddling and gasping for air, a tear broke down, and then another and then another and before I could stop what I thought was the last one from spilling, my face began a mess of flood. I turned my face to the wall as I silently cried, covering my mouth to prevent my crying sounds from coming out. I didn't want the guys to know and I didn't want to be disrespectful by abruptly standing and leaving.?
I was doing a perfect job hiding my face until Ryder decided to ask me a question.?
"What would you like for dinner, Maggie?" He asked touching my back so there was no way I could avert it. "Maggie?" He called after moments passed and I still didn't answer.?
"Are you okay?" It was Greyson asking this time.
"Yes… you guys can have dinner… have dinner without me… I'm not…I'm not hungry" I stuttered. How could I eat? How could I possibly eat when someone… an Alpha is laying on the bed because of me. How could I be so much of an unfortunate fireball?? A fireball that causes wreckage, burns, and destruction wherever I went. My tears began to increase in their outpour and streaks and I tried all I could to contain them until I couldn't. my shoulders began to shiver as I tried to contain the tears yet I failed miserably.
The next thing I felt was a strong arm wrapping around my waist and dragging me to a stronger texture chest. Without protest, I obliged and buried my face in his chest, crying to my heart's content.
"It's okay Maggie, it isn't your fault. You did nothing wrong, don't punish yourself….and don't leave his side like the priest warned" Ryder said, planting kisses on my hair and head.
"Let me" I heard Greyson's voice say and Ryder stood up from where he was hugging me to give Greyson a room. "Julian is a strong man. He'd overcome great things and so we trust that this is just another milestone—plus he has you now by his side. What could ever go wrong? It's okay, Maggie. This isn't your fault" Greyson said drying the wetness on my face.
"Thank you," I muttered. He retracted to his former position and I went hither to adjust Julian's hand that was sticking out of the sheets.
"Don't you dare touch him" a feminine voice said, bringing me to an automatic halt. I knew who the voice belonged to without even turning. I didn't move forward, I couldn't move backward either. I was just standing at a point shivering in fear or embarrassment until a strong force pulled me back with my hair.?
"Arghhhhh…" my pain of agony was interrupted when a series of slaps and hits came raining down on me and I just collected all of it. Maybe the pain would give me a sort of satisfaction—a reason to not carry this amount of guilt around. From my face age began to pull on my hair and that one propelled a scream out of my mouth. Ryder and Greyson who had excused themselves rushed back in to tear Clara away from me.?
Greyson was holding Clara away while Ryder had me plastered to his chest as he cursed out a series of profanities.?
"I'm so sorry Maggie" Ryder muffled in my hair, his fingers running along my back. I didn't even shed a tear. Surprisingly, the additional pain was helping me hold up.
"It's fine. I'm okay" I said, parting my tears-stained and damp hair away from my face.?
"Rubbish. Take her to her room and have the maids settle her in with a warm bath and please make sure she sleeps… She needs rest! I will take care of Clara" Greyson said in a typical Beta tone when the Alpha was out. It was my first time seeing him this authoritative. "I'm so, so, so, sorry Maggie. I'll come soon to check in on you" he kissed me slightly on my forehead before pulling Clara away.
"Shall we?" Ryder asked and I nodded.
*********
Like every day, I remained in my room crying myself to sleep and refusing to eat. It was the fourth day after Julian collapsed and I had neither gone downstairs nor eaten. I didn't want to come across Clara by any chance so I did what I could do best even if a part of me missed Greyson and Ryder and the greater part longed to see and feel Julian. Although Julian and Ryder texted to check on me and inform me about the improvement in Julian's health as the doctor who came to check on him on a regular basis.?
?I reminisced on the occurrence of the previous days and unknowingly, tears started coming down my face. From little sobs, it broke into a full blown cry. I was hungry, my stomach was stretching yet, and I was crying my lungs out until I fell asleep or passed out?
'Turn around, Maggie. You are s fucking beautiful." Alpha Julian's quiet voice broke the silence and I straightened my back, eyes facing forward. Slowly I turned, his hand skimming across me and sliding to my hip. I could feel the way his hand spread from his fingertips on my lower back all the way to where his thumb pressed against the soft skin just in front of my hipbone. I looked down to meet his eyes, which looked intently back at me.
I could see his chest rising and falling, each breath deeper than the last. A muscle twitched in his sharp jaw as his thumb began to move, slowly sliding back and forth, his eyes never leaving mine. He was waiting for me to stop him; there had been plenty of time for me to shove him away, or simply turn and leave. But I had too many feelings to sort out before I could react. I had never felt this way, and I had never expected to feel this about him. I wanted to slap him, and then pull him up by his shirt and lick his neck.
'What are you thinking?" he whispered, eyes somehow both mocking and anxious.
'I'm still trying to figure that out."
With those eyes still locked to mine, he began to slide his hand on the lower part of my body. His fingers ran down my thigh, to the hem of my skirt. He moved it up so his fingertips traced the strap of my garter belt, the lace edge of one thigh-high stocking. A long finger slipped beneath the thin fabric and pulled it down slightly. I sucked in a sharp breath, feeling suddenly like I was melting from the outside in. How could I let my body react like this? I still wanted to stop him, but now, more than that, I wanted him to keep going. The heavy ache between my legs was building. He reached the edge of my panties and slipped his fingers under the fabric. I felt him slide against my skin and graze my clit before pushing his finger inside me, and I bit my lip trying, unsuccessfully, to stifle my groan. When I looked down at him, beads of sweat were forming on his brow.
'Fuck," he growled quietly. 'You're wet." His eyes fell closed and he seemed to be waging the same internal battle I was. I glanced down at his lap and could see him straining against the smooth fabric of his pants. Without opening his eyes, he withdrew his finger and fisted the thin lace of my panties in his hand. He was shaking as he looked up at me, fury clear in his expression. In one quick movement, he tore them off, the rip of the fabric echoing in the silence.
He pulled my hips roughly, lifting me up onto the cold table and spreading my legs in front of him. I gave an involuntary groan as his fingers returned, sliding between my legs and pushing into me again. I despised this man in a singularly sharp way, but my body was betraying me; I craved more of what he was doing. Damn if he wasn't good at this. His weren't the gentle loving touches I was accustomed to. Here was a man used to getting what he wanted, and it turned out that right now, what he wanted was me. My head fell to the side as I leaned back on my elbows, feeling my impending orgasm approaching fast.
To my absolute horror, I actually whimpered, 'Oh, please… please"
He stopped moving, pulling his fingers back and holding them in a fist before him. I sat up, grabbing his silk tie and pulling his mouth roughly against mine. His lips felt as perfect as they looked, firm and smooth. I'd never been kissed by someone who clearly knew every single angle and dip and teasing move to make me almost completely lose my mind. I bit his lower lip as my hands made quick work down to the front of his pants, whipping his belt free of the loops.?
'Real kings don't leave their women wanting more..." He made a low, angry noise deep in his throat and took my blouse in his hands, ripping it open, the silver buttons skittering across the long conference table.? He slid his hands up my ribs and over my breasts, thumbs slipping back and forth across my taut nipples, his dark stare fixated on my expression the entire time. His hands were big and rough almost to the point of pain, but instead of wincing or backing off, I pushed into his palms wanting more, and harder. He growled, fingers tightening. It occurred to me I might bruise, and for a sick moment, I hoped I did. I wanted a way to remember this feeling, of being completely sure of what my body wanted, entirely unleashed.
He leaned close enough to bite my shoulder, whispering, 'You fucking tease." Unable to get close enough, I quickened my pace on his zipper, shoving his pants and his boxers to the floor. I gave his cock a hard squeeze feeling his pulse against my palm.
The way he hissed my name—'M. A. G. G. I. E."—should have sent a rush of warning through me, but I only felt one thing right now: pure, unadulterated lust. He forced my skirt up my thighs and pushed me back on the conference table. Before I could utter a single word, he took hold of my ankles, grabbed his cock, and took a step forward, thrusting deep inside me.
I couldn't even be horrified by the loud moan I let out—he felt better than anything.
'What's that?" he hissed through clenched teeth, his hips slapping against my thighs, driving him deep inside. 'Never been fucked like this before, have you? You wouldn't be such a tease if you were being properly fucked." I couldn't find my voice to answer. 'Or was it just that one time? The best time you had was so many years ago?"
Who did he think he was? And why the hell did it turn me on so much that he was right? I had never had sex anywhere but on a bed, and it never felt like this. He was supposed to be apologizing… or maybe… maybe he didn't know?? Was it? Or was it only a facade from his end?"?
Whatever it was, two could play…
'I've had better," I taunted.
His body stiffened as though a keg of hot oil was poured on his bare skin… he flinched… retracted even.
'Then I must make a new impression then"