CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

Maggie's POV
I paced around the corridor, matching up and down like a soldier general trying to round up his mates to prepare for a tough battle. And indeed, this was a very tough battle for me. I continued to pace, hoping that all the unnecessary movements would take away the tension from my body and hopefully, maybe even calm my nerves.
So far, so not good. The pacing did not seem to work and so I decided to stop, leaning against the wall, using my forehead for support.
Why did they have to do this to me?
I could just leave, right? Not like I was an official pack member, but I was only the alpha's mate. Surely, that also meant that I had the freedom to move how I pleased and go wherever I wanted to, right? I did not have to do what I was asked to do, and I could easily walk away from it all, could I not?
Walk up to Julian and say, ‘Hey Julian! I really do not want to do what you and your members are advising me to, so I have made the decision to be out. And none of you can stop me!'
Now, that was aptly disrespectful.
But what was I supposed to do when I was asked to do the one thing I had never done in front of any other person? I thought they said that I was going to feel comfortable and safe. At this point, I have just been asked to do something I was uncomfortable with doing publicly, and I was also definitely not feeling safe. Not even Julian's babying could get me to feel at peace— not enough to do this. Whether it was for my own good or to satisfy their own curiosity, huh? If they wanted me to train, why could they not train me as I was, in my human form? Do they think my human form was not strong enough to undergo the training? Me, Maggie, the female werewolf who had survived years of extreme intense abuse and with a daily workload that was enough to end the lives of about two or three of the average wolf. And yet, they had the guts to tell me that they needed me to change? The audacity! I had assured myself earlier in life that no one would ever see me do the one thing I said I would never let anyone see me do.
Complicating, right?
Thing was, I had been asked to shift.
To shift! Fucking gracious… yeah! I lied the first time that I said I hadn't my first shift. Last night after my moment with Julian I decided to come clean about it, my fuck face of a mate would dare me to shift! If I had known.
I was able to successfully hide the fact that I could shift from the Brown moss pack for many years. I had avoided shifting in public, except for that one time I needed to.
?What a lovely twist from life!
I mean, I hid my wolf form for twenty years only to be mated to an Alpha and people who trained more in their wolf form.? Although being here, in the Green moss pack in my wolf form would definitely be better than being in Alpha Kane's pack- the Brown moss pack. But that did not matter, as it was all very uncomfortable for me still. And I wasn't sure what their reaction would be when they saw the nature of my wolf. I mean, I get stupefied by it sometimes. And it was not just the fear of being harmed that made me hide my wolf form, it was the last thing that my mother told me when Kane sent his warriors to come to get her and my Dad.??
She had actually told me that I had a unique wolf, and although she could not pinpoint it, she had felt that my wolf was either an extremely rare breed, or that maybe it had special powers aside from my healing abilities. I remember wishing after her death that if I truly had a wolf with special powers, then maybe I could have been able to get myself out of the hell on earth I was in, and maybe if I could I would help the other slaves escape too. But all that were mere wishes on the moon… But if wishes were horses, beggars would ride, right? I was a beggar with no horse to ride on, and my wish was far-fetched. Who knew that what it would take to set the ball rolling for my freedom was to reveal my true nature in a foreign land? A nature I knew nothing about. A reality I know nothing about.
So maybe, I could try to push myself to shift for them. For my mate, Julian, and his pack. They had saved my life after all, and I probably seemed like an ungrateful girl in their eyes. They could not understand. Nonetheless, my mother's warning remained untethered. She had in fact warned me against shifting in public so as to not attract the roving eyes of curious, unknowing people who would spread the word like wildfire, which in turn led to the unreasonable wrath of enemies, and the eyes of selfish, misleading people who would want me all to themselves. That, in fact, was something that I did not wish to have. I was not comfortable becoming the center of attention, and I definitely had no interest in fighting off enemies and facing a lot of drama. I did not need any negativity, and the ones I had endured and had gone through were certainly enough to last me for a lifetime and another. I definitely did not want packs going to war over me if I did in fact turn out to be something so special. I couldn't afford to bring unrest to Julian and his people. Not that I believed that I was something, but I had never been one to throw caution to the heavens and the wind.
?'Maggie? Are you ever going to join us outside, my love? 'Julian called out from outside as? I stepped out with a tank top and shorts that held no emotional value whatsoever to me.
With a sigh, I smiled at him and answered.
'Yes sir! I am going to shift, but only because you asked nicely." Julian grinned mischievously and stole a kiss from my lips. 'Thank you, baby girl. Let us go and meet the others."?
I grinned back, a reflex response to his actions. Inwardly, I was still worried about the whole shifting thing, but I would be damned if I disturbed Julian with my childish fears and other concerns. We walked hand in hand to the training grounds, with Julian telling me some jokes and silly stories of him when he was younger and about how his pack came to be. He had created this community of wolves. This large family and he had done it himself.? Words could not describe how proud I was of him at that moment. I wanted to cry out of pride.? Knowing the amount of difficulty he went through to achieve this milestone was enough proof to see how strong and dedicated he could be.
But then I could hear the sound of the cheers of other werewolves and then my heart began to race. I took in a shaky deep breath, my hand still in Julian's.
Then Julian turned back to me, disentangling our hands and holding his chin with it. 'We are not at the training grounds yet. You can tell me what it is that is wrong." He said with a frown.
'What do you mean? Nothing is wrong, everything is fine. All good, I assure you." I said, waving it off by sticking my tongue out.
'Wow, then why am I not assured by your assurance now? Is it because something is actually wrong?" Julian said, looking displeased. Then he held my face. 'You know that you can tell me anything, right? Even if it includes punching me in the face." He smiled. 'Maggie, I need us to be honest with each other, even if it is in the most uncomfortable of situations. Now, please be honest with me, what is bothering you? Is it about the shifting thing? If you are not comfortable with doing that yet, I can stop it from happening. You really do not have to do anything that you are not comfortable with doing."?
I took in a shaky breath, not knowing exactly how to respond. Honesty was the best policy, so I might have just told him the truth anyway.
'Yes, it is about the shifting thing." I paused.
Then you do not have to—" I cut Julian in.
'No, it's not like that. I want to. I need to do this, I guess. You and your people have done so much for me, and there is a first time for everything, right? I am a bit afraid, yes. But I am not completely unwilling. I will train with the rest of the pack as I should."?
He nodded at me with a smile. And then he kissed my forehead.
'I am proud of you for this growth, baby girl." He said, and I laughed. That was all mock bravado, but the speech I gave seemed to give me some spark.?
----
'Leave some space for her please," Ryder said as I stood in the middle of the field.
'Are you ready, my love?" Julian said as he gave me thumbs up.?
'I am. Do not worry about me." I said as a matter of fact. I jumped a bit, stretchered, and then tried to change form. It did not work at first but that was most probably due to my nervousness. Then I took in three deep breaths and tried again. The sounds of cracking bones pounded in my ears, and I was sure that the rest could hear them just as audibly as I did too. My bones crackled and snapped and then I began to howl in pain.
That was most probably due to the fact that I had not shifted in quite a while. My last shift was on the day I met Julian. All the joints in my body cried out to me and I longed for a release from the pain, as I fell writhing.?
Then I stood up, and then I heard a loud gasp from all the werewolves present.?
Suddenly feeling self-conscious, I looked at the body of my wolf, wondering if it had any injuries or defects. My wolf had always been a black and brown color, and I wondered if they had gasped because my fur was not as glossy or shiny as any of theirs.? Or if it was something else entirely and true to my thought, it was.
I gasped as I looked at my fur. Well, the fur that was not mine. This did not look like my wolf, so I began to panic, confused about everything that was happening.
My fur was white. A shiny, startling white. A white so bright that it looked like it could make one's eyes burn at sudden exposure to it. Even my tail had the same color, but it was so very long, much longer than it was, that is. My claws were longer and pointier, and to anyone who would care to look, or to notice, it would seem like I had just returned from the wolf spa after a mani-pedi. My claws were long and beautifully coated with shimmering glitter.
It was like what I saw in my dream years ago. I remember telling my father about it and the old man nodded in glee. He said something about that dream being the sign he and my mother were waiting for.
Okay, now I need my parents more than ever! Where the hell were they?
The wolves in human form began to whisper, some of them still had their mouths open in awe. Even in my form, I could make out Julian's features and he too was looking at me like something strange… something cursed.