Chapter 150
James POV:
It was unsettling to me how quiet the world had gotten as if this is just what he had been waiting for. I trusted my sister and her husband. I knew that they knew what they were doing. They were the ones who had played this game and they were the ones who had sacrificed the most.
I felt wrong to let the world go back to ease for a moment when we knew what was coming, but I also knew it was what everybody wanted so I should’ve done my feelings and I accepted it.
I wanted to be on edge and I wanted to fight for once I knew someone else felt the same. I saw Anna trying to hide the fact that she was still blood-hungry.
“ it’s OK you know to want all of that to want the revenge,” I had expressed to her one day after training.
I saw her turn hesitant for a moment and ashamed it was odd to see my sister who could never be ashamed of anything she’d ever done turn that color. “ I do it though and it’s an ungodly part of me that wants it and I am embarrassed that I let it take over,” she looked away from me.
Annette had a whole reason to be ashamed. She was a mother, and now I figure in somebody else’s life, an example of how to be. I knew what was going on inside her head. My sister had always wanted to be a mother. She always knew she would be a young mother, that’s the life that we alphas have to lead.
She wants away from it, but now I could see it turning gray and her head. Took her hand and told her, “You are as close to as they come, but it’s OK to have a dark side. The fact that you fight it is enough,”
She and I both knew I was talking slightly to myself as well. Told me I was having such a hard time trying to control this part because I was trying so damn hard. I was the issue when really I had to relax a little bit and so did my sister.
I hope this was all over. We could both find a little bit of peace. Grown is accustomed to being here with her and her husband helping them being a right-hand man for him. As much as I hated to admit it, he deserved my respect, and I wanted him to respect me. I fucking looked up the idiot.
If anybody asked me, I would deny it because he still hurt my sister, but he was a good guy.
I looked around at the grounds, to keep the house the tall maples that crowded everywhere. The lanes on the houses and many fields of harvest.
I thought of Home our house has been separated from the others, beyond the fields. It was different here, Grayson didn’t set himself above he stood in front. My father was a good leader, and he did his best to help every single one of his people, but there were traditions he didn’t know how to break.
Traditions that were tearing people up. we may be going home soon dead or alive and every day I saw my brother crack a little bit more.
One way or another he was running out and there were a lot of things he wanted to say. A lot of things he wanted to do. He couldn’t say them or even look in her direction without withering stares from our parents.
He had found someone he really loved. He was gonna be stupid enough to let it go to appease them.
I kept walking through many people running around preparing. They smiled and laughed because they weren’t afraid because they believed in what they were fighting for. Every last one of them wanted to fight for this place, and I did too.
My sister had the protection of her family on her mind as did Grayson. No one was pretending revenge didn't play a little part of their plan either.
Charlie was fighting to protect the woman he loved even if he couldn’t tell her and she was fighting for him too. I saw the way she looked back the way she held his frame in her eyes. He might as well god himself.
To be honest, I was running out of time too. I don’t want to leave, I enjoy who I am here. I have the respect the grace gives me, my freedom, a place among the people. I don’t have to serve and protect them because it’s my right, I do so because I want to.
I know if I told my parents I wanted to stay, they would blame Grayson in some way. They would demand I come home with them and I would never see this place again. So I had to hold my tongue, and hopefully one day ask to return here. I don’t think I had muddled myself too much with Grayson.
It was a different world up here, the cold and the ice. Their people had harmony and family amongst each other. It was hard to think I may have to go away from it all even if only for a little while. I’d ask to return when I was 18, a full two years away.
Goddess knows the way my parents would react when I told them but legally nothing could stop me. I had seen enough of this in my lifetime to know I didn’t want to spend my life in our home pack. I had no want to be Charlie’s delta or omega and I didn’t want to be a warrior for him either. I liked that here I could make my own path and do my own thing.
I wanted to build a house here, maybe one day way down the road find a girl who was nice. I just knew I wanted to be here, for some reason, it’s where my head ran clear.
“I’m going to miss you,” Anna told me at dinner. “I like how you look when you're helping our warriors train or when you’re advising my husband. It makes me proud of you,”
I wanted to tell my sister how badly I wanted to stay, how it meant everything that she saw I had a place here, but still, I couldn’t not when I knew the consequences.
Our mother down the table pretending not to listen in had stilled. I wouldn’t let it slip in front of her that another of her children was moving out of the country.
“Don’t worry. I know,” she whispered to me.
I had hope. It was foolish and wrong and I shouldn’t because we were staring down a loaded gun, but I had hope that I could do it. I could come back and be here and live how I wanted to, not as a full-blooded alpha, but as me.