Chapter 28

“We should bind,”

*He has no fucking clue*

“Wh-you-it…no!” I fumbled so unbelievably stupefied at his solution here.

“No?” He walked back to me. “Why?”

“We barely speak!” I was having a hard time breathing and my ears were ringing.

*This is not how it’s supposed to go; we're supposed to bind when we’re in love. *

He rolled his eyes. “Annette we will get to know each other but your safety is more important,” He stated it so matter of factly deciding everything by himself again.

“No Grayson I’m not binding with you like this I don’t- it’s this isn’t what I want,” I shook my head.

“You want me to try, I can do that, but it might be harder if I'm protecting you from every other male on the planet,” he sat back down beside me leaning back and folding his arms over his chest.

“You didn't trust me for weeks, Grayson!” I clamped my eyes shut. “Now you want to bind!”

“I didn't fully trust you,” He corrected me but it did not help his argument at all.

*Seriously! *

“That is the point! Binding means forever Grayson I will feel you forever! And you don't trust me!” I got up and walked over to the window needing space.

“You need to be safe. The fact that I have considered this shows that we can do this,” He followed me.

“Oh! Oh, that's good because you think you may want to bind with me, we should!” I laughed at him.

“I want to try. I know I don't want to lose you. I know that there is danger. This is how I protect you,” He slowly approached me but his face was so serious and set.

“Grayson this is my life, this means that no matter how you feel in the end you and I will always be together,” I tried to get him to see the risk here but he was like a mountain staying still in a hurricane.

*Every doubt in my mind he had placed began swelling in size at this sudden change. How could I accept us binding when he barely showed me he could treat me right. *

“I can't do this,” I felt tears welling up.

*I can't bind with my soulmate. I can't bring myself to take this leap. This is not what I want. *

“I need to go and think. I need to I need to just take a walk,” I walked away from him and out the door.

*Except I can't take a walk. We don't know if that wolf is still around. I don't want to talk to anyone. I want to think and be with myself and my thoughts and my fears and my hopes. *

I decided I would pace on the porch instead. I walked back and forth letting my head guide me around.

Grayson had said we should bind it was his idea but it wasn't from a place of love it was for protection. It felt more like he was trying to do what was right than being with me because thats all he wanted.

The intruder wolf may or may not be after me, still until Grayson and I bind any other wolf that could jump me, mark me and I would be theirs.

Grayson has said he would try and today was nice. It was what I would have expected almost three weeks ago.

Everyone here said I should give him a chance. They said he was worth dying for, that he was a good man, and they were lucky he was their alpha. I trusted many of their words.


*I have a choice here. I bind with Grayson or I wait and risk another wolf coming for me. *

*This is up to me and only me, he’s my soulmate, the gift to me from the goddess. If I turn away now we have no hope he will fear that I would run again forever. I had a choice to trust him and to be with him and give him myself. This was his idea that must mean something. *

But I need something before I agree.

I shot a cool breath out of my nose and nodded my head as I headed back inside the house.

Grayson who had been sitting on the couch with his head in his hands stood up and strode to me.

“I need to know that I can trust you,” I didn't look at him feeling guilty for not trusting my soulmate.

“What do you want me to do,” He stood tall and firm.

He sounded so fierce as though he might actually love me.

“Tell me why you don't trust me,” I held my hands tightly together so my knuckles went white.

“I don't,” Grayson's eyes went wide and his body tensed. “I don't know what you mean?”

“You haven't let me in since we met. You have kept yourself away from me. Tell me why,” I felt my chest constrict at the thought of him telling me I wasn't good enough.

“Annette I- I just wanted a good Luna for my people,” He used the same excuse.

“That's not true!” I whispered then I met his eyes. “Tell me the truth or I won't just not bind with you I'll go back to my family,” I huffed. “This is what I want to know if I can trust you I need honestly,”

He backed away from me as the realization I was serious came down on him.

“You will know me better than anyone else,” he spoke softly.

I strained my ears to listen to him. He was breathing unevenly and his shoulders were right.

“My father he. He saw me and he didn't want anything to do with me,” Grayson turned away from me, hiding himself.

“The second I saw you I-I was yours. Then the thought that you would come here, meet my people, be a part of my life….and then realize you deserved better,” He exposed his fears to me.

I stepped forward and placed a hand on his back. The big man my mate was, flinched at my touch.

I slowly encircled my arms around his torso as softly and gently as I could, giving him plenty of time to stop me.

“I'm not going to leave. I will stay when it's hard, when you annoy me, when I annoy you, when you try to keep me so safe I get angry. I will stay,” I placed my head on his back.

He put his big hands over my little ones and rubbed his thumbs over my knuckles. His body was very tense and I don't think he was used to a touch like this.

“So then it's settled?” he asked me.

I let go of him. “No,”

“No!” he spun around.

I laughed. “You have to ask me properly,”

The sigh of relief that he huffed and the stern aggravated face I got was perfect. I withheld my laugh as he stepped forward and went down on his knees.

“Annette Julianne Maloria, will you bind with me before our goddess?” he finally asked.

“Yes,”

***

The next day all the preparations began. I called my parents to let them know we were binding. My mother shrieked and hollered at how amazing it all was.

There was a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it. Grayson and I agreed on one week to get everything ready.

I had to make my dress, get flowers, and make a menu. I had no clue what the binding rituals were here and that was the most important thing to learn.

“Alpha will stay with Matthew or his mother all week. You two cannot see each other on the day until the reveal at the party,” Elizabeth began explaining to me.

“It's more like a festival,” Ella interjected. “You'll be bound Sunday night when the moon is at its peak. The days before you and the aloha will go through different rituals and there is dancing and food and fights,”

“Yes. Those first two days Friday and Saturday you will trade off on ceremonies and rituals. You have a dance you need to do, a ceremony with Amaria, you have to be welcomed by the women in a ceremony and then the men in another ceremony. There is the feast where you serve everyone and then in turn Grayson serves you, and that's not even the actual day of the binding, ”She looked very bored with it all.

“You had to do all of that to bind with Aarron?” I gasped.

“No, well some because he's Delta. You have a lot more to do because you're becoming our Luna,” She smirked at me.

“Has your mother sent the fabric for the dress?” Ella grabbed my hand.

“Oh it'll come in a day then we can make it,” I looked between them.

“I have flowers and a list of food!” Charlotte burst through my front door. She was holding three baskets of flowers and leaves and her phone.

“Great let's pick flowers,” Elizabeth was like a drill sergeant with this planning process.

“Okay here are the flowers of the region flowers from your family's region and the binding flowers,” Charlotte laid them all out.

“There will be table runners, ones that hold lanterns, garlands, and anything else you want,” Ella was giddy beside me.

We decided on Cherokee roses, daisies, and dahlias all in white for my region flowers to go on the table for my family. For the rest of the tables bunchberry, labrador tea, sweet lover, and camas for Grayson's territory.

We would have moonflowers, tuberose, and cereus on the main table where Grayson and I would sit. They all bloomed at night which is why they were binding flowers.

All the flowers had to be white for our goddess and so our love would last. I decided on extra garlands to wrap around the trees and posts of the pavilion.

“Food, we will be having four full-blooded alphas who will have battled so Annette how much can your father and brothers eat?” Elizabeth inquired as she held her clipboard.

“Who are they battling?!” I did *not* miss that little detail.

“Grayson,” the three women spoke in sync and looked at me as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

*Oh goddess be *