Chapter 57

I remember fragments of my heat but not a lot. I slept all day once it was over, and when I woke up I felt it. When you get the certainty in you that comes from your soul, I knew I was going to have a baby.

I made him promise that no one would know, I had this horrible sensation now that the walls had eyes. The ground was listening to my steps and the moment I fell asleep would carry the news of our baby to this enemy of ours.

We waited a week and went about our business, the pack knew I’d had my heat and they looked at me with hope glimmering in their eyes and whispered prayers in my direction. I didn’t flinch when I saw them analyzing me to see if I had changed, if I was more tired, if I was more energetic, if I was nauseous, if I was hungry, If I looked run down, if I was glowing.

“I don’t want them to know,” I had told him last night and I felt him tense a bit.

“Annette this baby will very well be the next Alpha,” He almost scolded me.

“And it’s my job to protect him!” I didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but I felt this overwhelming desperate desire to keep my pregnancy a secret for as long as I could.

“You think there’s a mole? Amongst *my* people,” He took his arms away from me.

"*Your* people,” I shot back him incrediously.

“Our people, our people. But I don’t doubt anyone’s allegiance,” His nostrils flared as he crossed his arms.

I shook my head only once “It’s in my bones Grayson, they’ve been watching us for some time now, they knew the weakest pack in our alliance, they knew where I’d be while you were away, they knew the portion of our wall to climb over that night,” I sat up and stared him in the eyes. “Even if there is no mole they are beyond our walls and they’re waiting to strike. It’s my job to keep this baby safe and in my belly as long as I can,”

He set his jaw. “Not one of our people would ever betray us,”

“It’s a nice thought but I am not going to take the chance. If I am pregnant I want to wait until my second trimester to tell the pack that way it will be harder to kill the babe in me,” I wasn’t going to back down on this. My mindset has changed, I had changed.

I would throw myself off of a cliff if they took this from me.

“I have looked forward to this house being full of children, and the celebrations this pack would raise when we announced our first pup for years…..but we are at war,” He closed his eyes and nodded.

We went to sleep, even he didn’t toss and turn as he did I knew the idea of someone of our pack turning on us. It was his nightmare.

The sun came up and he had found himself asleep. I got out of bed and walked into our bathroom. I took the test and left it on the counter and snak down to the floor.

*First we have to overcome each other, and now this foul enemy of ours has threatened the dream I’ve held onto my entire life. I make no apologies for wanting to be a mother, to raise children, to build a home and a family. Is this my punishment? Am I going to lose my baby before I even meet them? Will we get to see her first steps or will they take us from her? What does the goddess have in store for us that i can’t see? How can we survive this? *

My mind began to drown me with worries, fears, and questions. I don’t know how we’re supposed to enjoy the time of our first baby when we are being attacked by a cowardice, shady, pathetic fool of an enemy.

*But I am of alpha blood….

*All I have to do is carry my baby to full term and then if they come for my pup, my family, my dream, my baby, I’ll kill them. *

I wasn’t going to be afraid of someone who plays in the shadows and is too scared of my mate and I to fight head on. I will protect my child and I will kill anyone who tries to take them from me.

I set myself in stone refusing to be tainted with fears, I pushed myself off of the floor and grabbed the test.

***Pregnant ***

The word stared back at me confirming what we knew would come.

‘Netta?” He called to me from beyond the door.

I opened it tears prickling my eyes and the brightest smile on my face and I jumped into his arms. “We’re gonna have a baby,” I told him.

“You took the test?” He set me down on the bed.

He knelt down and grabbed the test form my hands. “You’re pregnant. You’re pregnant,”

In one swift yet careful motion we were on the floor of our bedroom and he was kissing my cheeks, my forehead, my arms and my belly.

“I vow to you Annette we are going to have the most wonderful baby who will never know of this danger we face.” He would have been more murderous looking I’m sure if he wasn’t smiling like a fool.

We were both late that morning and we did our best not to look as ecstatic as we were. The dark cloud we’d been hating for so long seemed non existent at this moment. It was blind optimism but I looked past that.

*I want to be happy. I want to be happy about this even with it all, even when the world is crumbling around us I want to be happy in this one moment. *

“Luna,” Elizabeth whispered to me as we watched the new warriors train. “Are you pregnant?”

I trusted Elizabeth, Grayson trusted her too. She had judged me almost as harshly as he had when I first arrived here out of her respect for him and duty to the pack…but even so I said nothing.

“I don’t know yet,” I blatantly lied to a trusted friend, and I felt no guilt at all. I had something that only lived off of my protection, my love, my life.

She cocked her head to the side. “....understood Luna,”

*She knows…*

That’s all I’d ask of her, make no acknowledgement allowed but understand things are ultimately different now.

I preserved foods and dried meats. I harvested the food. I oversought the training warriors. I ran laps and did some minimal exercises.

Amaria obviously was well aware of the news. She had now made herself my personal attendant.

‘Drink this it has a lot of vegetables but it doesn’t taste like shit,” she’d winked at me as I huffed while harvesting the tomatoes.

“These lunges, squats, and planks will keep you strong and help your condition,” She instructed me in the gym.

“I have made sure that we start eating a lot of folate full foods so you won’t have to take the vitamins and have them shipped here,” She whispered to me before heading to dinner.

“Netta,’ He pulled out my chair for me and kissed my cheek. “You’re glowing,”

He was overwhelmed with excitement and joy, but I sensed the anxiety waiting underneath, of his abilities as a father.

“Thank you,”

We ate and we walked slowly hand in hand back to our house. I rested my head on his chest and pictured a baby with his hair and my eyes, surely a handsome boy, or perhaps a baby girl…my own anxieties touched my mind.

A daughter, she would be of alpha blood, and not only that but with Graysons strength and wealth she’d be highly sought after. I have no doubt that she would be a prize to evil wolves who wanted her, just like me.

Then there was the other side, the good wolves who would try to treat her right but it wouldn’t be love. They would covet her, they would prize her, but they wouldn’t want her.

*That's even how I met Grayson so he'd have strong pups he never knew I’d be his soulmate. *

“If we have a daughter, I won’t let her be sold,” He turned to me suddenly.

“‘You could hear me?” I gasped looking up at him with raised eyebrows and a blush on my cheeks.

“You’re parents did nothing wrong in letting you choose but you know very well that my intentions in going weren’t to fall in love with you,” He looked away the shame radiating from him.

“If we have a daughter we will let many suitors come and visit over her teen years,’ His lips sneered for a second there. “And I have no doubt one of them will fall for her. She’ll be just like you after all,”

“I met my soulmate, that's a little different than falling in love,” I pointed out to him.

“That one little boy seemed to have puppy love for you,”

For a second I was stumped. “Max? He’s your age,” I laughed at his jealousy.

He scoffed. “He was tiny,”

“Hey,” I turned his head to look at me. “And you are worried about being a bad father when you already know how to protect our daughter. Don’t ever doubt your ability to love,” I kissed him.

It was easy to get to sleep that night. I woke up and though things were different I wasn’t scared or angry. I had a little faith that whatever was about to happen was meant to.