42

CHAPTER FORTY TWO
GABRIELLE
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One week slowly went passed.
I felt different, I couldn't tell how so.
I had thought I would be relieved and carefree by Lucian's absence but instead, it was quite the opposite.
I tossed and turned on the empty bed, I couldn't manage to fall asleep.
It's been seven days, I still had not seen nor heard anything from Lucian.
Aside from knowing that he was in the hospital, I knew completely nothing.
What exactly happened after I passed out that day?
Loretta was also behaving so secretive about it which gave me the impression that something was wrong with him.
Derek was getting more and more distant from my mind. Everything I thought we shared all turned out to be an illusion after all. Ever since that day at the airport, I haven't given him a single thought.
I shouldn't be this concerned about Lucian either but somehow my mind always managed to drift back to him.
I subconsciously lifted my fingers to touch my face, the reddish discoloration was almost gone now. Even though he had hurt me, I still couldn't help but think he had also saved me.
Twice, I might add. Even though I hadn't thought that he was saving me when he had separated me from Derek and had forced me to marry him.
I pushed aside the covers, what the hell was I even thinking?
I think there was definitely something wrong with my head. It had been like this for the past three days or so, it seemed my head was trying to come up with an excuse for all sorts of cruel things Lucian had done to me.
No.
I shouldn't feel grateful to him. Even if Derek had planned to harm me, it didn't mean that he was any different, perhaps even worse. He was the one who abused and force himself on me numerous times, there certainly is nothing good about him! I concluded but at the same time, another prohibited thought flooded my mind.
If I had been submissive and willing, he wouldn't have been rough and painful, he had shown that he could be gentle in those few days before you had tried to escape!

I shot off the bed to empty the glass of water in front of me.
Now, I was fully convinced that I was messed up.
What was wrong with me?
I met my expression in the mirror, shaking my head vigorously.
I wasn't suffering from Stockholm syndrome!
I detest everything he's done to me. I wouldn't be among those women who fall for their abusers.
"I hate him!" I muttered aloud, needing to feel the conviction within me.
I looked around the very large but suffocating room.
Maybe staying in here all day was messing with my head.
Could I risk going outside?
I stared at the door doubtfully. Lucian has been away for one week already, would he suddenly return today?
Suddenly, a knock sounded. It was shortly followed by a voice.
"It's me."
It was Loretta, she slowly walked into the room, her eyes weren't as lively as it always was, it was red and swollen, almost as if...she had been crying.

Panicked from nowhere harshly kicked in, I completed the distance between us in hurried strides.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?!" I didn't realize that I forgot to breathe as I awaited her response.
She sniffed, trying at a smile but it wobbled off.
"I couldn't sleep, I just thought I could talk to you."
The tension coiled within me didn't ease a bit.
She stared at me for some seconds, then her eyes widened slightly as though she had just realized something.
"Nothing has happened to Lucian if that's what you are worried about."
Disagreeing with her statement was on the tip of my tongue, I wasn't worried about him, I just... I was only concerned about her, yes that was it.
We made our way over to sit on the bed, if she wanted company, I could do that, maybe it would help wave off all of the pent-up stress inside of me.

"I sort of came to say goodbye to you, I'm heading somewhere tomorrow, I might be gone for a full day, it depends." She started and I couldn't help but think that if she left, I would be left alone in this huge house.

"Where are you going?"

She paused for a second, then shrugged. " My mom's getting married, I'm merely curious to see what her new family looks like." She smiled, but it was sad.
Judging by what she had told me the other time about her mother saying she wouldn't accept her back if I didn't like her, my guess was that they didn't have a great relationship. Lucian also had never mentioned her for once.

"Is Lucian also going to be there? His mother is remarrying after all." It wasn't me trying to know his whereabouts...okay, I wanted to know where he was but it was only because I wanted to know for how much longer I could continue to be safe.

"Of course not, he's not related to her in any way, why would he be there?" She spoke and I stared at her in confusion.
"But..."

"Lucian's mother died when he was still young, his father got together with my mother some few years later, I've spent some of my years in this mansion but not too many people know that I'm actually his half-sister."
I didn't know why I was surprised, for one, she and Lucian didn't bear any kind of resemblance, both physically and character-wise.
"We both aren't as close as I would have liked, he doesn't really show anything but that's just him never allowing anyone to get close to him. He probably feels that everyone is going to hurt him, but you've always been different for him."
I tried to pretend not to hear her last statement. She was still young and probably didn't understand that what Lucian feels for me isn't love...no it was very far from that.
I might be one of his prized possession, but that was it.

"If anyone could change him, then it might just be you." She added, not to mention that she was staring at me like some magic performer.
I shifted uncomfortably, I didn't like the direction of where this was heading. Personally, I didn't think or believe that a person could change another person, it could exist in fairy tales, but not in the real world. A person could only change when he or she decided to.
I decided it would be best to change the topic, there was a question already building in my mind.
"Why did you say that Lucian thinks everyone is going to hurt him?" I held her stare.
"You probably don't know that his mother once tried to kill him when he was younger...I also heard that she had committed suicide in his presence " Her voice was brought to a whisper.
Seconds went passed and I didn't know how to react. I felt as though a bomb had been dropped on me. I had least expected her to say something like that.
Why would any mother want to harm her own child?
That was just too...cruel.
I suddenly thought that there might have been a time when Lucian could have been like every normal kid. Even though there was no justification for what he had done to me, my heart still clenched with sympathy for the little boy who had undergone such tragedy.

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I couldn't tell what woke me up from the short slumber.
After Loretta left, I had lost the desire to take that walk and had ended up falling asleep instead.
Then I heard it.
A sound.
Faint as it was, my ears were glued to each stroke, each melody.
My eyes shifted to the wall clock to see that it was a little past midnight.
Who could be playing piano at this hour? I've never even seen one around. I was curious, it wasn't just curiosity, my insides were building up with anticipation. I wanted to know who it was.
I got off the bed and slowly walked towards the door, it was locked but I had the key.
Soon, I found myself out of the room. I had forgotten to put on my slippers. My feet didn't make noise against the tiled floor.
The house was empty and dimly lit. With each step I took closer towards the sound, I could feel my heart beginning to pound harder and faster.
I made a turn and found myself entering a part of the mansion that I've never been to before.
A door appeared in front of me, it was slightly opened.
The sound was coming out from there.
Common sense told me to flee back to the safety of my room.
Being in this place at this hour felt all kind of wrong. My body was starting to turn cold in fear, so why weren't my feet cooperating?
The tune of the piano changed. It was more intense, much darker, and very much haunting. I could almost feel my soul dragging along with it.
Perhaps, this was the point I was supposed to turn around and return to my room, but a voice inside of me whispered to take a look.
A quick peek would hurt no one.
The space in the door that was left ajar was enough to poke my head through. At first, I couldn't see anything because it was too dark, the darkness was slightly to my advantage because it meant that I wouldn't be seen either.
The flicker from the moon through the window ahead was the only light provided.
It took seconds for my eyes to adjust.
And that was when I saw him.
My heart gave a hard pang. I couldn't tell if it was from fear or something else...
I couldn't tear my eyes away from his silhouette form which was easily identifiable to me.
I wondered how he could manage to play when it was so dark.
He was back.
Loretta's warning flashed across my mind like a ticking bomb. I didn't know how bad it was but she seemed pretty serious about not allowing him to see me.
I started to withdraw and at the same time, the piano suddenly seized playing.
My heart rocketed high. It was so dark, he couldn't have noticed me, right?
My chest constricted tightly when the silhouette figure moved. And he was suddenly facing me.


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