69

CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE
GABRIELLE
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"You are not leaving me! I don't allow you." His hot breath blasted my ears just before he turned me around to face his angry glare.
"You will never speak of that ever again, I need you with me!" He spoke in a lower more serious tone as his eyes kept me pinned.
My heart squeezed tightly as I realized that his last statement wasn't out of anger, he was pleading with me. A quiet sigh escaped my mouth if he wasn't the most complicated person on the planet. If he didn't want me to stay or leave, what was I supposed to do! Would I ever understand all of him?
"Why do you need me to stay?" I questioned, unconsciously placing my hand on my abdomen. "You don't trust me, Lucian, you don't want to be in OUR life! And you can't let us go? What exactly do you want?" The helpless confusion caved into my voice. I don't think I've ever been so exhausted, physically and mentally.
His eyes slowly trailed downward, lingering on the spot where I cradled my belly, his brows pulled together as something slight changed in his features, he continued to stare unblinkingly.
"Ours?" He suddenly whispered, I could sense the change in him when he stared at me, searching for something in mine. I didn't know what brought about the sudden change but the compelling look in his eyes urged me no nod as my throat felt too constricted to voice out an answer.

"I want to believe it, you don't know how much, do you?" He whispered and I slowly reached for his hand, when he didn't pull away, I squeezed tightly.

"Then do, Just know that I would not fight so hard to come here if I don't love you Lucian but each time we appear to be moving forward, something always appears to drag us back" I slowly brought his hand to rest on my stomach. "Fate gave us this chance to make a new beginning, Let's not allow our mistakes of the past to continue to define our future. We don't want to lose each other, so let's make this work, it's been going on for far too long!" He said nothing in response but I could feel the tension and debate slowly draining out of him. When he nodded, I felt my throat tighten and I partly blamed the baby for how extreme emotional he or she was making me.

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LUCIAN
I tried not to pace around the room in impatience, waiting for the doctor to return with the reports was proving harder with each passing second.
What the hell was keeping her so long!
My attention shifted to Brie who was sitting on the bed, her huge eyes were focused on me even as she took a sip of water from the bottle.
I could have sworn that I saw a slight roundness in her stomach area earlier, but then it probably had been my eyes playing tricks or the desperate part of my mind which still wanted to believe that she loved me, that she wanted to give birth to our children.
I wanted to think that the fact that she came to me proved that she cared!
But as much as I held hope, I would be lying if I said I completely believed her. The paranoid part of me believed she still was trying to deceive me. It wasn't about her right now, it was me.
The stubborn root in my mind that was afraid of betrayal, that part of me which all the negativity and darkness thrived.
The voices living inside of me provided enough reasons why I shouldn't believe her, it commanded me to punish and hurt her for ever betraying me was still there, it never left. However, I had learned to suppress it, in the past, I wouldn't have hesitated to ensure that she paid fully for every mistake, maybe it was because I knew about her hate for me then, she had been convinced that I was a nightmare and I hadn't cared enough to make her think otherwise about me.
But all that had changed. Nothing actually scared me more than damaging everything that was between us, It could be said that she was the only one who was capable of making me lose all reasoning and at the same time, I've never possessed such control over myself towards anyone.
The moment she had mentioned leaving, It felt as though she had squeezed and trampled upon the very piece of me which was capable of feeling. I knew then that no matter what she did, I couldn't live without her, I didn't want to.

I was relieved when the doctor entered, my anxiousness also shot to another level. I felt my heart squeezing tight in my chest the whole time. I didn't know what I would do if it turned out that Brie was lying to me yet again.
"Based on the test results, your wife is about twelve weeks pregnant!"
The relief and pure happiness hit me hard like a block of ice slammed against my head.
Brie was pregnant!
She hadn't been lying to me! I did the maths rapidly in my head, she had been pregnant even before we made that trip to California, which meant that she had stopped taking the pills even before I found them.
I met her gaze to see her tearing up. It was the doctor who broke the silence yet again. "This might be a lot to take in, I will prescribe some vitamins and leave you two, you can call me and I'll answer any question you might have, for now, Your wife needs to rest, stress isn't good in her current state."
I swallowed hard and barely managed to respond. "I will ensure that she doesn't stress herself."
I barely saw the doctor leaving through the door as I suddenly found myself immersed in the same thoughts that had engulfed my heart when Brie had told me she was pregnant the first time.
I tried to imagine myself holding our newborn, would it be a boy or girl? It didn't matter. I imagined playing sand with a chubby toddler on the beach while Brie would watch us, I accepted the thought with ease and fierce longing for something I had never experienced spread through my heart.

A muffled sob snapped me out of my little trance, I was beside Brie before noticing that I had even moved.
"What's wrong?" I was genuinely worried and confused. She threw her arms around my neck, her body trembling against mine. "We can't continue like this, I hate it when we fight." She whispered.
I agreed silently. I hated it too. More than anything would ever be able to express. She pulled back slowly so she was staring at me and I was already missing her warmth.
"Henceforth, there will be no more lies or secrets between us."

Her words struck a sudden disturbance at the back of my mind, it was something I had never mentioned to her before. Apart from Devin, no one else really knows.
My illness.
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