76

CHAPTER SEVENTY SIX
GABRIELLE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I collected fresh flowers from the garden as I had been doing for the past two weeks. Has it been two weeks already since my world fell apart?
Yesterday, I had visited the cemetery along with mom, we were all going through a tough phase, Phoebe was still convinced that I was responsible for our father's death, we haven't seen or heard from her after dad's funeral service.

Mom told me that she was only confused and grieving at this stage of her life, and it was easier for her to just put the blame on another person but I had also been thinking about it every single night and hated to admit that if I had allowed Lucian to kill Derek back then, he would have been beside me right now.
Words could express how much I miss him and it hurts so much.
I finished arranging the flowers and walked to join Loretta and Devin.

"Anyone could have done that, why do you insist every day? You should look after yourself more." Loretta spoke as we entered the car.
I stared at the scented flowers in my hand.
"It's no trouble at all, besides the ones I brought the other day must have withered by now and needs replacement."
I blinked and looked away when I couldn't bear the sympathetic stare I got from her and Devin.
We all needed Lucian to be fine, but somehow they think because of my pregnancy, I was more fragile and sensitive and that they were supposed to look after me.
Lucian was in a coma, the doctors weren't assured of when he would wake up or if ever he will, he had been severely injured and it was only a miracle that his heart hadn't stopped beating yet.
As long as there was a slight chance, I would never give up hope. It was the only thing keeping me together when it felt as though I was losing everything already.

The rest of the drive continued in silence until Devin pulled in front of the clinic.
*
*

There have been no changes...
I don't want to discourage you but my advice to you is for you to start preparing yourself for the worse...
The doctors' words echoed in my mind, my legs felt like molten lead as I stared at Lucian's unmoving form through the glass door.
He looked like an experiment project with so many tubes projecting from his body. This was my Lucian? He had promised me that day that he would return to me.
He was supposed to be at home instead of looking so lifeless here.
He took everything from me, then he gave me everything, only for it to be taken away from me once again.
I buried my face into my palms, my shoulders trembling with sobs.
I was never a strong person, he should know that I wouldn't be able to cope with so many changes. I wouldn't be able to move on without him and our baby wouldn't grow up without a father.

I felt a hand on my shoulder before Loretta hugged me tightly, we clung to each other for several seconds before I spoke.
"I want to go inside and see him, this might be the last time we ever get to see him alive."

She reluctantly pulled away and I dried my eyes, inhaling deeply before I pushed the glass door open.
I sat on the chair beside him and just stared at him for several minutes, was this how it felt to be dead inside?

"The doctor said this might be my last opportunity to see you alive Lucian, if you can hear me, I want to tell me if he is telling the truth." I began, tracing my index finger around his wrist.

"Does it feel nice there? Is it peaceful?do you prefer to stay there? I have so many questions but you aren't saying anything. I wish I was laying here instead of you, at least then you will understand how I'm feeling and why you shouldn't die." I blinked back tears, holding his fingers gently. I looked at his face, desperately needing those eyes to open once again.
It never did. Just as it never had in these two weeks.
Even the slightest movement would be enough, why was he doing this to me? Couldn't he tell how much pain I was in right now?
I held onto his hand tighter as silent tears spilled down my eyes. I spoke this time, my voice stronger than ever.
"If you really can hear me, then know that if you die, I will never forgive you for leaving me! I will forget all about you and move on, I'm going to be happy every day, then I'm going to find a man who loves me and will be with me forever, our son is going to answer his name and maybe in the next few years, we will have our own kids, we will live happily forever after, while y.. you..you remain dead!" It became too hard to speak, to breathe, my chest was clenching painfully with each breath. I staggered to my feet, I was dizzy and disoriented. My head was throbbing and my vision starting to grow dim.
Dazed, I struggled to reach for the door, but I was too dizzy, it felt as though I was floating and that was when everything went black.

*
*
LUCIAN
~~~~~~~~~

I saw emptiness, I was detached from everything, nothing touched me, nothing bothered me except the feeling that I was missing something of utmost importance. I was losing something precious. It was intense and continued to plague my mind. There was a noise and everything seemed to be coming at me as though from a distance.
The noise slowly diminished and I could make out a voice?
Why did it sound so familiar?
I tried to listen, to hold on to anything but the emptiness.
Then it struck me like a sudden wave of headache.
Brie!
The voice belonged to her, why does it sound as though she was crying? I could almost smell the grief in the air, the sadness seeping out of her.
Was this a dream? Even so, why couldn't I wake up or move any part of my body?
A painful sensation rippled through my head, the images flashed through my head.
Loretta...
Derek...
Vladimir's smirk as he pointed a gun at me. What happened after that?
Suddenly, Brie appeared. Wasn't she supposed to be at home?
Vladimir was dead, everything was over, then I...
The noise disappeared, once again I was met by emptiness. I could feel her leaving me, she was going farther and farther away.
I wanted to call out to her, to reach out to her, it was frustrating because I could do neither.
No!
I knew not to let her leave this time! Something told me that she would never come back again.
What if she left me? What if she completely forgot about me? Would she never return? I felt the first drop of doubt, fear, and anxiety as paranoia surged and pumped through my veins from the place I didn't know existed.
I had to stop her! She was mine! And I couldn't live without her!
My eyes gained strength first, as they fluttered open into the blinding lights, they watered as it tried to adjust.
My senses grew accustomed to the beeping sound of the machine beside me and in the next instant, I noticed the two older men dressed in a lab coat.

"He is awake!"

"Mr. Castiel, can you hear me? how do you feel?" The other said.
My throat felt dry and hurt as I tried to speak.
"W..where I..is she? My wife?" I wanted to sit up but failed, my body felt as though it had been drained of energy.
"She's not here right now..., you have to be still, you've not yet healed completely." Why do I feel as though he hesitated after his first sentence?
Had I imagined Brie's presence or was it a dream? How long have I been unconscious?
"The drugs in your system had slowed down your recovery process, to be honest, it is a miracle that you're awake so soon."
Vladimir, that bastard!
Whatever the heck he had given me, I only felt satisfied that he was dead for good.

The doctor was done with checking me up and left when Devin and Loretta entered inside. The relief was evident in their features as they walked up to me.
"It's good that you're alive." Devin smiled.
"It feels great, trust me." I grimaced, there were so many questions that I needed to be answered.
"You left us all so worried! If only you had awakened ten minutes earlier, then B..." Loretta started to speak, I didn't miss the look that Devin gave her that shut her up.

"What's it? Are you hiding something from me?"
"No, it wasn't anything important that..." Devin started, it had to be important for him to cut Loretta off, growing tensed with worry, I held his gaze.
"Is it about my wife? Tell me or I swear I'll find out and..."
Loretta swallowed down and proceeded to further move towards me.
"First of all, you must promise not to get upset..."
"Just tell me for goodness' sake!" I snapped, all the hesitation was getting me more anxious.
"The doctor told us you might not make it, she was very upset and wanted to see you, we don't know what exactly happened in here but she suffered a p..panic attack and...f..fell unconscious."

I was right all along! She had been here!
"I need to see her right now!"