Chapter 62 THE END

Credit to the google information about Alzheimer's disease.
"When Alzheimer's victims suddenly perk up just before death. What's going on? Conventional brain science has no explanation. It has long assumed that as the brain goes, so goes the mind; for the brain is what gives rise to the mind. The return of mental clarity and memory in a brain ravaged by Alzheimer's is not supposed to happen yet it does in some cases. This is what I have studied in my college days and it is my first time to encounter this situation," the doctor says to Marco, they were currently talking in his office. Mirana was now monitored by the doctors and nurses.
"This case of Mirana in her stage 7 is very impossible for her to tell you all of that, in fact that stage 7 is very severe for patients who have dementia. Her words should be scrambled, she can't find words, she forgets what she should say, forget you. That is what it should be Marco but this, this case of her is called terminal lucidity which describes as 'close to a miracle, given what we know about brain function and cognition.' Marco cannot help himself but shed tears. He can no longer carry the pain hammering in his chest, it was like it was going to explode any minute from now. He cannot take it.
"I know, I know I'm such a fool and a dumb ass if I ask you this again even though I get already an answer but please answer me directly. Would she make it? Will she live? Will she survive? Is she going to leave me? Us? Will she die?" His voice cracked and his shoulders were going up and down, he was crying out of his heart he can no longer bear the pain in his heart.
"No, Marco. Go to her now," the doctor answered and left him. The doctor wanted him to be alone, to think, and to pour his heart out.
Marco let out a deep breath and fixed himself. He looks up at the ceiling and takes a deep breath again. He walks through the door and readies himself to walk into her room. His heart was clenching in pain as he saw the situation of his wife, his love. He walked into her direction and there were tubes and other apparatus on her. He can't stand to see her situation. He pulled out a chair and sat next to her bedside.
"Mirana, my love, I love you. I know you're hearing from me. You don't have to answer me now, you will answer me when you are awake and when we are in our bed," Marco laughs a little bit that doesn't even reach his eyes. He holds the hand of Mirana and kisses her knuckles.
"It's okay," Marco said in throaty sobs he takes a deep breath and touches her cheek.
"I wanted you to stay, Zeke wanted you to stay, your sister wanted you to stay, Layla wanted you to stay, every one of us wanted you badly to stay," he sniffs and wipes the tears in his cheek.
"I wanted you to stay more than ever in my life, my wife. We were just getting married, we didn't have enough time to enjoy it. You've sacrificed too much when I was not by your side. You've sacrificed too much, too much my wife. I just wanted to tell you that it's okay, it's okay if you go. It's okay if you don't have to fight anymore. If you're tired already, go on and have a rest," Marco cries on her side and looks into her face again. He roams his eyes in the room and stands up. He walks into the curtain, clung it into a metal, he opens the glass window. It was a beautiful sunset. He looks for his phone and plays music that Mirana plays when they were in their school days.
Playing You're Still The One
When I first saw you I saw love
And the first time you touched me I felt love
And after all this time you're still the one I love
Looks like we made it
Tears were streaming down in Marco's face as he held tight her hand. He can also feel that Mirana was holding him too. And they were tears in her eyes.
Look how far we've come, my baby
We might took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday
They said "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
"I love you Mirana."
We're still together still going strong
(you're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(you're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night
Ain't nothing better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missing
They said "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong
(you're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(you're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night
You're still the one
(you're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
(you're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night
I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come, my baby
"I love you Mirana, my wife. Rest now."
'Flatline sound'
It was a coastal rainy evening, cold breeze touching his skin, and silence filled his ears. He looked up into the dark sky and smiled bitterly.
Before You Go
By: Lewis Capaldi
I fell by the wayside like everyone else
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you but I was just kidding myself
Our every moment, I start to replace
'Cause now that they're gone all I hear were the words that I needed to say
When you hurt under the surface
Like troubled water running cold
Well, time can heal but this won't
"There is so much in my life now, Mirana. There is so much I could have done before. I wish I had done so much but now what? I'm here right outside our house. I'm sorry and I immediately left you when you lost your life, I just couldn't. I can at first but as I held your cold hand that was before warm, your wrist, I break down, I just couldn't," he said hastily and the tears were pouring down that he kept in himself for days. He held his hands close to his chest and kept crying. His eyes rippled with pain coming from his chest.
"I can't Mirana, it's hard. But no matter what I say you fight, no matter how much I want you to fight, no matter how much I pray you to fight but I know you can't, I know it with your smiles, I know you are struggling, I know you are fighting. At that time I knew you were fighting the pain you were feeling so that it was okay for me to let you go, it's okay to let go. It's okay to leave, you've sacrificed too much Mirana, you've sacrificed a lot. And I am that fool who never believed you, I should have died, not you. I want to die now, I can't bear my situation right now it kills me slowly and I don't like it," his voice cracked and his shoulders were going up and down, he was crying out of his heart he can no longer bear the pain in his heart.
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heartbeat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind could make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
Was never the right time whenever you called
Went little by little by little until there was nothing at all
"How can I get up now Mirana? Those are the questions I ask all my life. What happens to me now? What is happening to me now? I can't live in this world without you. I can't breathe in this world without you. What am I supposed to do? What should I have done then? If time can be turned back, give me one last chance, I know Mirana had given me many chances but what did I do? The goddamn regret. I love her so, from the very start we met, I fell for her even though in that beginning I know she's not serious, she plays but I'm a fool, I take the chances of being with her, being near to her. That's what loves do, love can do crazy things. The biggest regret of my life is letting you go Mirana if only I hadn't sent my emotions back then when you would have humiliated me all over campus if only I had not led to revenge and just received and loved you every day and court you every day this would not be the case for us today. You wouldn't have been there," he said and looked up at the sky, there was almost no rain, and only the frost and cold air were just touching his face.
Our every moment, I start to replay
But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face
When you hurt under the surface
Like troubled water running cold
Well, time can heal but this won't
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heartbeat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind could make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
Would we be better off by now
If I'd have let my walls come down
Maybe I guess we'll never know
You know, you know
Before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heartbeat better?
"I let my love go, what did I do? I let my revenge eat me. I'm 60 years old now and today is my birthday Mirana, happy birthday to me," he smiled.
"Until now the guilt and anger eat me, I'm angry with myself Mirana, I am the reason. I am the reason why you are gone. Even with all the exploration, I still can't forgive myself. They say life is short but it's goddamn not, it's long. The life is too long, I'm alive, breathing Mirana but I still feel like I'm dying every day. Don't worry about there my love, I didn't forget our son, I cared for him, I gave him everything he needed, I didn't let him down because I didn't want to eventually regret why I didn't do anything for him, look at him now. I didn't show them all that until now, at this age I'm still affected by your loss, don't worry nobody knows, just you and me Mirana, just you and me."
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind could make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
Would we be better off by now
If I'd have let my walls come down
Maybe I guess we'll never know
You know, you know
Before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heartbeat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind could make you feel so worthless
So, before you go