Chapter 32 - "No."

LENA GLARED AT ALARIC, thinking to herself that he must have fallen out of bed and hit his head. Hard! What was he thinking? She paced around her room for a moment and then turned to glare at him some more. She wasn’t sure about much these days, but she was damn sure about one thing. She wasn’t going to be his mate!

“Have you completely lost your mind?” She threw her hands in the air in frustration. The mere fact that she had to ask him was actually beyond her. He hated her just as much as she hated him. Why would he ever think she would say yes? Most importantly, why the hell was he asking?

“Well, yeah. It seems if we don’t mate, I will die.” His words shocked her to the core. That was just ridiculous. Sure the mate bond was important, but rejecting someone wouldn’t kill you! Would it? She slowly started to shake her head as she realized that, for the first time since this damn war started, she was holding all of the cards. If what he was saying was true, she could get rid of him by just saying she didn’t want him. Could it actually be that easy?

“Okay, I know I haven’t been a great mate …” Alaric sighed, pulling his fingers through his hair.

“What gave you that idea?” Her eyes flashed with anger. “No.” The simple word cut her so deeply that she almost doubled over in pain. Her slight gasp made Alaric rush to her side and she pushed him away.

“I know this isn’t what either of us wants, Lena, but I’m sure we can find a way to work around it.” He frowned as she sat down and tried to catch her breath. Lena was a little flustered and was suddenly wondering if what he was saying could be true.

“What makes you think that your people and that damn council of yours will ever accept us being mates, huh?” She spat the word as if it had left a bad taste in her mouth. Just admitting it out loud was almost too much for her to bear, but as soon as she said anything against it … There was something seriously wrong here! Did they honestly not have the freedom to choose who they loved? Could he be right? Could they die if they didn’t choose each other?

“The council and the pack know and most of them are okay with it.” He took a couple of steps away from her and pulled his fingers through his hair again. Lena had figured out in the short time she had been there that he only ever did that when he didn’t know what to do. Whenever Alaric felt trapped or forced into a decision, the man would pull his fingers through his damn hair.

It took a moment for her to actually register what he was saying! So that was why she was suddenly allowed to walk about the pack house! Why she got those looks from some of the women here and why people stopped insulting her out loud? Alaric told them all!

“I need to think about this.” Lena couldn’t look at him. She needed a clear mind and having him in her space wasn’t helping. She had mixed feelings and it was driving her absolutely mad that she did. She wanted to hate him. That’s it. That was all she wanted. She wanted to hate him for what he did to her people. Why was that so damn hard? Alaric looked at her one more time before leaving and Lena fell onto her bed as tears rolled down the sides of her face.

She could not imagine ever loving him, even if that was what the bond was telling her. Was there a possibility that they could both die if they didn’t accept each other as mates? If she did accept the damn beast … What then? Would they have to … A shiver ran down her spine and she wasn’t entirely sure if it was a bad one or a good one! She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. This was a feeling Lena had never liked! Since she was a little girl! She never liked feeling this damn uneasy!

She never liked not knowing how the hell she felt! She hated him … But … NO! She didn’t even want to think about it! She could never love the man that killed her father and she couldn’t imagine that man loving the daughter of the man who killed his parents … Okay! That was it! She was going mad and it was all Alaric’s damn fault!

“Lena? Are you okay?” Rebecca’s voice interrupted her thoughts and Lena whipped around to find the little girl frowning at her. She hadn’t even heard her come in because she was so wrapped up in that man! That awful beast!

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lena tried to smile, but she couldn’t. “What are you up to?” She tried to distract Rebecca but the frown on the little one’s face told her that she had forgotten something. Dammit! What did she forget?

“We were going to go to the library today, remember?” They had been spending their time in the library during the day and, thanks to Alaric, Lena had completely forgotten the one thing she was doing every single day! How was it possible that one damn man could confuse her entire equilibrium so badly?! She rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to.” Rebecca suddenly looked hurt and Lena sighed.

“I’m sorry little one.” She bent down to Rebecca’s level. “I just have a lot on my mind. I wasn’t rolling my eyes at you. I promise.” She tried to apologize to Rebecca, but it looked as though the little girl didn’t entirely believe her. “Come on. We have work to do.” She winked and a small smile started to form on Rebecca’s face.

Lena promised Rebecca the day before that she would show her how to do one of the spells from Rebecca’s mother’s grimoire. Lena was planning on speaking to Alaric about it this morning first, but after the ridiculous conversation they had, she wasn’t even going to do that anymore. Rebecca rushed into the library and pulled out the grimoire. She was positively beaming when she opened the diary and Lena instantly saw why when she read the spell. It was a spell that would open one’s heart to love. She frowned.

“I take it you know what happened between Alaric and me this morning?” Lena tilted her head to one side and Rebecca beamed as Lena sighed. “Rebecca, it’s not that easy.” Lena walked over to the window and looked out at the forest. How she wished she was back home with her parents. She wished for a time before the war when things were simpler!

“Why? Why isn’t it that easy?” Rebecca had a deep frown on her forehead and Lena sighed.

“You are still very young. You won’t understand, but what I can tell you is that life isn’t easy, sweet pea. Life is hard and cruel. Pick another spell. Maybe one that creates a flower.” Lena walked over and as she turned the page she pointed at the simple spell. It was a growing spell that shortened the time for a flower to grow. Rebecca wasn’t happy, but she nodded and rushed to one of the beautiful potplants that was in the library.

Carefully placing the book beside the pot, she read what the instructions were, then rubbed her hands together before holding them above the pot. Lena guided her a little, but Rebecca seemed to have a natural instinct for it and as she said the spell, the leaves of the plant started to grow a little, but the flower didn’t come out yet. Lena told her that magic didn’t always work the first time and that she should keep practicing. For a first timer, she was doing absolutely fantastic.

While Rebecca practiced, Lena started to look for books on the mate bond. She needed to figure out if there was any way for them to get out of this damn bond without the two of them dying.

ALARIC SIGHED AND looked out of the window as he took a sip of his drink. It was way too early in the day to start drinking, but Lena had just turned him down. She basically accused him of being crazy. Was he crazy? It wasn’t as if he chose her to be his damn mate! Yeah, his morning had not turned out the way he wanted it to!

Hearing their footsteps as they walked past his office, he could feel his wolf aching for Lena. Why did the goddess hate him so damn much?! He almost wished that they were still fighting against the witches. Fighting them was so much easier than loving one of them! He flopped down on his couch just as Max walked in and from the look on Max’s face, he knew what his friend was about to ask.

“She said no.” Alaric answered before Max could ask the question. He really didn’t feel like talking about it anymore. He wanted to drink until he was so drunk that he could just sleep for days.