Dimitris

September 17.
I’m wrapping up the rehearsal now. Much later than I’d have liked, and it was also far less productive.
It’s hard for me to focus on the choreography when I can’t get Dimitris out of my head. He came here to bring me food. And that doesn’t seem like his style.
...
It was past four in the morning when I finished my last performance of the night. I decided to head outside the arena walls, where it was still quite noisy, but a little less so than inside. I sat down on the sidewalk and lit a cigarette, recalling my brief conversation with my sister a few hours earlier when she had come to me very excited, asking if she could stay later for the next ballet class because her teacher had promised to rehearse a step she couldn’t quite get right.
I wasn’t even fully sober at that moment. I hadn’t used anything that day, but I could still feel a remnant of the effects from the drugs and alcohol I’d consumed the night before. Even so, I now remembered Iris’s exact words:
“Miss Aris isn’t just very pretty and very nice. She has the best hug in the world. When she hugged me, I felt so good… So much that I can’t even explain it properly.”
I saw tears welling up in Iris’s eyes when she said that. And it wasn’t hard to understand why. Maybe Aris’s hug was truly comforting, but it was more than that.
Iris wasn’t very used to feeling affection. I spent less time with her than I should, but during that time, I always hugged her and made it clear how special she was to me. But it wasn’t that kind of affection she needed; it was something else she had never known: maternal affection.
Obviously, Aris wasn’t old enough to have a ten-year-old daughter. But she was certainly better at showing affection than I was. Especially since she had received family love for longer than I had.
Even distracted by these thoughts, I noticed when a car stopped a few meters ahead, but I didn’t pay any attention to it. Until I heard footsteps approaching on the sidewalk and stopping right next to me.
“Did I arrive too late for the contest today?” I jumped at the sound of that voice.
I looked up to see Aris standing in front of me. I quickly put out the cigarette (damn, I never cared much about my own lungs, but I worried about hers).
“What are you doing here? It’s almost five in the morning.”
She sat down next to me, and I thought about the contrast of that delicate girl, wearing leggings, a light pink jacket, and a perfect ballet bun on top of her head, sitting on a dirty sidewalk next to someone like me.

“Today I got a bit too carried away with the rehearsal,” she replied. “I changed almost the entire choreography. By the time I realized, it was already late. But I decided to come by to see if I could still find you because…” She handed me one of the snack packs I had brought for her. “I think you overdid it a bit with the amount of food you brought me.”
I took the pack from her hand and opened it, pulling out one of the many small natural sandwiches. I took a bite and grimaced after just a few chews.
“This doesn’t taste like anything,” I complained.
“Don’t exaggerate. They’re quite tasty.”
“So you really like this kind of food?”
“You get used to it.”
“You eat this bland stuff… don’t smoke, don’t drink…”
“No.”
“I won’t even ask if you do drugs. You don’t even consume sugar.”
“Sometimes, yes, in small amounts. Oh, I’m talking about sugar, not drugs.”
I handed the snack pack back to her and said, “You asked about the performances. I’ve finished mine for today; I’m just waiting for the results of the last round. But there are still some competitors left to perform, if you want to go in and watch. Just, for someone who can’t inhale cigarette smoke, I really wouldn’t recommend going in there.”
“That’s okay, I think I’ll head out then. And what about you, what will you do now?”
I would go back inside, smoke a few more cigarettes, maybe snort a line of cocaine to stay awake, then get drunk at the victory celebration that I was sure would be mine and wake up somewhere unfamiliar, maybe after having sex with someone whose name I wouldn’t even remember.
But I thought that might scare her a bit.
Well, wouldn’t that be the right thing to do? Maybe that girl needed a good shock to understand who I really was so she’d see she should stay away from me.
However, I didn’t want to give that answer. Because I also realized I didn’t want to end my night that way again. And, perhaps… just perhaps… I didn’t want Aris to leave.
“You must be exhausted, right?” I asked.
“Actually, I kind of lost my sleep. I’m too wired about this competition, I keep replaying the choreography in my head all the time. Lucky for me that tomorrow… or rather, today… is Sunday. I’ll end up taking a while to fall asleep, but I’ll be sleeping all afternoon.”
A stupid idea crossed my mind. I should have forced myself to dismiss it immediately, but I chose to follow through with it.
So, I stood up and announced:

“Can you wait for me for a few minutes? I’ll be right back.”
“Wai… wait? I can, but… for what?”
“Just wait. I’ll be back soon.”
With that, I went back into the arena, where I got my motorcycle. I came out riding it again and stopped in front of Aris, who blinked a few times, confused, when I extended my hand to her.
“Let’s take a ride,” I said.
“I… I’m not sure I trust riding… that.”
I offered her my helmet, since I rarely used it when not competing.
“I don’t plan to do any risky stunts or exceed the speed limit. Before coming, you can share your location with a friend or… one of your parents. You can also take a photo of my license plate and send it along.”
“Are you giving me a manual on how to protect myself from you?”
“Well, I have a sister. She’s still a child, but I already have a list of everything I’ll need to teach her in the future. Of course, it will include: ‘don’t accept rides from strangers, especially if they belong to Free Bird.’”
“Okay…”
She stood up and took the helmet. She did exactly as I suggested, going behind the motorcycle to photograph the license plate with her phone.
After doing that, she put on the helmet and got on the back, keeping her arms parallel to her body.
“So, you’ll need to hold on to me,” I informed.
“You said you’d go slowly.”
“No. I promised not to exceed the speed limit, that’s different. But you’d need to hold on even if I were going thirty.”
I noticed she seemed a bit tense, but still, she did as I asked, wrapping her arms around my body.
And I wondered what the hell I was thinking. This night definitely wasn’t going to end in sex. So why the hell was I putting myself in such a tempting situation with her holding on to me like that on my motorcycle?
“Ready?” I asked.
“Actually, no. But let’s go.”
I felt like smiling and realized that Aris occasionally made me feel that way. She was the only one, besides my sister, who had that power, though I still managed to hold back.
I revved the engine, and Aris let out a scream as the bike picked up speed. I realized I hadn’t told her where I planned to take her, but she trusted me anyway.
Of course, she had sent her location and my license plate to someone as a precaution. However, I had received a vote of confidence, just like the night before when she allowed me to enter the empty dance school with her.

I thought she shouldn’t trust me like that. Even though I knew that, no matter how delinquent I might be, I would never force a woman into anything, I was too wrong to deserve that kind of trust from her.