Aris Part 2

“She and Heber are... Well, they’d be my partners if Free Bird were a legal business. They practically helped create the group with me. It started as irresponsible fun for the three of us, but it grew, scaled up, and... now there’s a lot of money involved.”
“And they think that somehow I’m messing up their business? That’s absurd. I’ve barely stepped into that arena once.”
“They think I’ve been distracted and looked for someone to blame for it. And there’s no damn blame. They say they’re my friends, but if they were just a little more observant, they’d have realized that every year around this time, I...”
He suddenly fell silent.
“What’s with this time of year, Dimitris?”
“Nothing. It’s nothing. Is the food good?”
“It’s great. Maybe I’ll eat a bit more later, but... I think I really need to take a nap now. I feel like my mind isn’t working right anymore.”
“Alright, then...”
We both stood up and remained standing for a moment. I didn’t want him to leave, and I had the feeling that he felt the same. So, when he finally moved, he seemed to want to linger a bit before leaving and went to the bed, pulling up the covers as if preparing it for me to lie down.
And I thought he didn’t even realize that, by doing this, he was only showing even more that he cared about me. That he wanted to take care of me.

Then, he threatened to take the first step toward the door, but I went up to him and held him back.
“You don’t have to go...” I said, in a pleading tone.
“You came here to sleep, remember? And then you don’t want me to call you perverted.”
Once again, he used a playful tone. But I didn’t laugh because my request was very serious.
“I need to sleep. But... you can stay with me, even if that’s all?”
“Aris, I don’t think it’s wise…”
“Please, Dimitris. I’ve already told you: I’m not going to ask anything of you. I’m not going to act like a clingy, lovesick person. All I want is to be with you.”
He looked at me in silence for a few seconds before nodding in agreement.
It crossed my mind that thinking it would be that simple might have been a great naivety on my part.
And that maybe all of this was a big mistake.

***

Dimitris


September 22 – Part 2
...
And as for Dimitris, what could I possibly write here? As I’m writing this, I’m in a car with him. I have no idea where he’s taking me, but I feel such trust in him...
Am I right to feel this way?
Or is it a huge mistake to be giving my heart to him so completely?
Where was my head? I didn’t regret for a moment taking care of Aris. Providing a place where she could rest after such an intense week was the right thing to do. Especially given her health condition, it was crucial. So yes, I would do it all again for her recovery.
But what was I thinking when I also booked a room for myself? Everything went wrong from that point on. I was supposed to drop her off at the hotel and leave. But I wanted to stay nearby. For her, and... damn it, for myself too.
Maybe she wasn’t the only one who needed to be cared for at that moment. In a non-physical way, my heart was also shattered.
The next day would be the damn 23rd of September. The anniversary of the accident that took my father’s and brother’s lives.
Then came my second mistake: instead of leaving her in one room and going to another, I agreed to her silly request for me to stay with her.
What was Aris thinking? Damn it, staying in the same room with her, watching her sleep, was torture, made even worse when she pulled me into bed with her and snuggled against my chest, falling asleep.
It was then that I realized, horrified, that there was no other place I wanted to be at that moment.
What the hell was happening to me?

Gradually, I managed to relax. I had been awake for several nights, and it had never been a problem for me before. But there, without any chemical substance keeping me awake, I ended up falling asleep as well. After some time, I woke up and went back to sleep a few more times until Aris also woke up.
She lifted her face, looking at me with her still sleepy eyes. And, damn it, she could be beautiful even right after waking up.
"You’re still here..." she said, seeming surprised.
"Did you think I would run off while you were sleeping?"
"Isn’t that what bad boys do?"
"Not before having sex with the girl."
"But I remember saying that I wouldn’t have sex with you."
"You’re right. I should have run away then."
She laughed. And then she asked the most direct and sincere question possible:
"You’re not falling in love with me, are you?"
"I don’t fall in love, Aris."
Maybe my answer could have seemed like a way to keep my own pride intact, to not admit it and to try to deceive myself. But, honestly, it wasn’t.
My answer was because I knew that if I said yes, she would be the one to decide to distance herself. She had gotten it into her head that she couldn’t allow anyone to fall in love with her. And the only thing that made her want to be with me was the certainty that I wouldn’t feel anything deeper for her.
"And you?" I asked. "You’re not falling in love with me, are you?"
"It doesn’t matter at all."

It mattered more than anything in the world. But the truth was, at that moment, I didn’t want to hear a sincere answer. I didn’t want to feel consumed by the guilt of someone as incredible as Aris being in love with a messed-up and broken human being like me.
At least, not at that moment. There, I felt exactly as she had revealed feeling a few days ago: the desire to merely be with her. No labels, no expectations, no complicated thoughts about the risks we might pose to each other.
I just wanted to be there.
Okay, maybe not just that. I wanted more. I wanted so much more. I wanted everything from her.
At least, everything I could have.
I placed my hand on her face, caressing it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her lips parted slightly, a clear invitation to be claimed by mine.
So, I kissed her.
Initially, slowly and softly. Gradually deepening, becoming more urgent. I turned my body on the bed, rotating her with me and ending up on top, pulling away from her lips for a moment to trail passionate kisses down her neck.
I kept one forearm on the mattress, supporting my weight, while my other hand wandered over the contours of her waist.
Until I realized I was heading down a path that might have no return.
"Aris, we should stop here," I warned. Yet, I couldn’t stop kissing her.
"I don’t want to stop, Dimitris. And I know you don’t either."