Dimitris

**September 20.**
Dance makes my heart beat faster.
But it’s no longer the only thing capable of that...
It was past three in the morning when I dropped Aris off at her lodging and decided not to go to the arena. On Tuesdays, the place was a bit less crowded than on weekends, and the performances ended a bit earlier. Therefore, I wouldn’t arrive in time.
And, to be honest, I had no desire to go there. Aris talked about her physical exhaustion, and I realized that when the effects of drugs and alcohol wore off from my system, I also felt exhausted. I wasn’t used to feeling this way, probably because I wasn’t accustomed to spending so many hours completely sober.
The following night, I resisted the urge to go see Aris again. She had managed to get her choreography right, and I concluded it was safer for both of us not to be alone in that dance studio again.
I went to the arena instead. However, I spent the afternoon and early evening with my sister, so I only managed to arrive in time for two of the three performances I had planned for the night.
I put on my protective gear and sat on my bike, holding my helmet in my hands and waiting for my turn. Then, I spotted Zoe and Heber coming toward me.
“Decided to show up?” Heber taunted, looking quite irritated.
People couldn’t count on me for many things. I had agreed to pick up and drop off my sister at school and ballet twice a week, but I still ended up failing her occasionally because I was too drunk or high.
I was a terrible student. I had been in that college for three years and would probably be there for a few more before graduating. I was always failing classes due to absences, and most of the time I attended classes, I felt like I had no idea what the hell the professor was talking about.
My mother hoped I would someday take over the company, but I thought it was very unlikely that I would have the discipline for it. I’d probably drive it into bankruptcy within a few years.
I never cared about a girl after going to bed with her. Because I usually did it while so wasted that I could rarely even remember their names. Except for those who were part of Free Bird, with whom I still maintained some acquaintance. Fortunately, they, like me, also had no interest in serious relationships. At least not with me.

In summary: I was the most unreliable person in the world, in absolutely every area of my life.
Except for one. Free Bird.
No matter what happened, I was always at the arena on performance days. I had created that group, which functioned like a fraternity, and I managed it along with Heber and Zoe. We were the three who decided who was let in or expelled, and we handled the division of betting profits due to each participant per performance, considering their rankings in the competitions.
This was the first time I was late. And my partners didn’t seem happy about it.
“Do I need to present a medical certificate for my absences and tardiness now?” I retorted sarcastically.
“It’s not just the damn tardiness, Dimitris,” Zoe replied. “You left us completely in the lurch yesterday, and look at what time it is today. You should have given us a heads-up. You know there’s big money at stake, and our bettors weren’t too happy that our main star wasn’t present.”
“But now I’m here, to everyone’s delight.”
“Are you really? Or is it like the last few days?”
“What the hell are you talking about, Zoe?”
Heber took over:
“Your recent performances have been crap. Bettors like you because you pull off the riskiest stunts. Lately, you seem to be scared or lazy... or just plain indifferent.”
“Maybe I’m just tired of you guys controlling even my mood.”
The announcer called my name, and I put on my helmet, taking the bike to the center of the arena. The crowd went wild, a reaction I hadn’t seen in a long time. My absence for one night had apparently been quite beneficial.
I started my performance almost mechanically. My mind always drifted away during these moments. To some empty, abstract place where I could get as close as possible to thinking about absolutely nothing. To not feeling anything at all.
It was during the stunts that my brain, for a few moments, erased the images of that accident almost eleven years ago. It was when I forgot that moment when I opened my eyes, regaining consciousness, and saw my father’s bloodied face and lifeless body. That moment when I heard my younger brother’s screams and cries of pain.

During the stunts, I forgot the moment when my uncle came to the hospital room where I was and told me that, like my father, my brother hadn't survived. And that my mother wasn't there with me because she had to be admitted urgently as well.
I forgot the pain, the anger, the guilt.
It was supposed to be me, not Thales. He was my little brother, and I had promised to always protect him from everything.
And I had failed irreparably.
However, during this performance, my mind wasn’t transported to emptiness. It had a very specific focus.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Aris.
The last stunt I decided to do was a Deadbody—a maneuver where I threw my legs over the handlebars and reached the front of the bike while keeping my body extended.
However, when I came back to the ground, the tires skidded, and I was thrown to the ground, rolling through the muddy terrain until I nearly reached the stands.
For a moment... just a brief moment... I wondered if this might be the moment of my death arriving eleven years late.
And I was surprised to realize I wasn’t wishing for it.
However, I realized I was still very much alive when pain in my right leg radiated through my entire body.
Several people came to help me, but I didn’t need assistance. I was alive and intact, despite the pain.
“Get the hell out of here!” I yelled to push away those trying to help me.
Among them was Zoe, who looked genuinely worried.
Heber, however, was watching me from a distance. And for a moment, I felt like I saw some frustration in his eyes that I was okay.
“You wanted a show, so I’ve done enough for today,” I announced, getting up and going to fetch my bike.
In front of a bewildered audience, I simply left.