Aris

September 21.
From the start, I called him the ‘forbidden boy.’ I never stopped to think that maybe I was also a forbidden girl. Falling in love with me could cause great damage. Thankfully, Dimitris is immune to this kind of feeling. Unlike me.
...
I was really exhausted when I got to my room. Even so, it took me a long time to fall asleep, with my mind spinning around that conversation with Dimitris.
I was more than tired of people treating me like a porcelain doll. I knew exactly who Dimitris was when I started spending time with him. I knew he wasn’t some kind of prince charming who would vow eternal love to me. And I didn’t even want that, for the reasons I made clear to him.
Okay... maybe, deep down, there was a romantic part of me that insisted on dreaming of loving and being loved, and living out a typical book and movie romance. But if I knew that wasn’t meant for me, why couldn’t I just... feel and live? And kiss him... and spend my time with him?
Damn if we were never to be boyfriend and girlfriend, if he wasn’t a guy who fell in love and walked hand-in-hand with just one girl. Maybe that was exactly what made it all the more possible.
If he didn’t love me, he would never be included on my list of people I needed to live for. I could handle my own unrequited feelings on my own. I just didn’t want to distance myself from him.
That was it... Dimitris Makris had become a kind of drug to which I had become addicted.
Along with all these thoughts, I also had anxiety about the competition’s preliminary round, which was happening the next day. My job depended on being one of the qualifiers. I didn’t want to be fired. I had become so attached to my students, cheering for every small progress they made.
Especially Iris. And knowing about the entire family tragedy of that little girl made me cling even more to her.
But it wasn’t just Dimitris and the competition that were keeping me awake...
“Zero... How is that possible? Ze-ro...” I complained, reading aloud the grade at the top of a test I had just completed.
I was lying on the grass in a part of the university courtyard, in the shade of a huge tree. Lying next to me, Lizzie was devouring a pack of chips of dubious smell and origin.

“It's just a test, Aris. That doesn’t define you.”
“I scored zero on a test... I managed to get every question wrong.”
“Do you know what that is to me?”
“What?”
“Just another day. For God’s sake, Aris! You don’t need to be the perfect student.”
“I was never exactly a perfect student. I was always just a good student, sometimes an average student. But it was my first test in college. How am I going to make up for this?”
“You’ve got the whole semester ahead of you, relax. Besides, you didn’t have time to study because of the rehearsals for the preliminary round. The day after tomorrow, this will be over and you’ll be able to catch up, relax.”
“That’s not what movies and books promised me about college...” I complained.
“I know. We think it will be all about parties, sex, fun...”
“And we get new responsibilities, boring professors, bad grades, and broken hearts.”
“Wait... What?” She propped herself up on her elbows, sitting up and looking at me. “Explain that part.”
“A zero isn’t enough of an explanation?”
“Not about the grades, but the broken heart part. Please, Aris, tell me you’re not talking about Makris.”
I wanted to speak. But all I could do was let out a sigh, which gave Lizzie all the answer she needed.
“My God, Aris. Did you fall for him?”
“...Maybe.”
“Do you know what guys like Makris want with girls like you?”
There it was again, that annoying “girls like me” talk. They could introduce me to the others, and we could start a book club or something.
Since I didn’t say anything, Lizzie asked another question:
“You didn’t sleep with him, did you?”
“No.”
“Good. Because that’s probably what he wants: to get you into bed, take your virginity, and then give you a kick in the ass.”
I felt my face burn.
“Where did you get the idea that I’m a virgin, Lizzie?”
She crossed her arms in front of her and tilted her head to the side, as if to say, “Are you seriously asking me this?”
“...Maybe I am...” I said. “I mean, who can define the concept of virginity?”
“By yourself doesn’t count, Aris.”
Damn it... she made my face burn even more.
“Okay... but I’ve been with a few guys in high school...”
“Okay, you’ve had a few kisses. But a guy like Makris will want a lot more than that from you.”
“He does. I know he does. But... He thinks that ‘girls like me’ deserve more than that.”
“Seriously? ...Makris is now a conscious guy?”

“You’d be surprised how nice he can actually be.”
“He wants to sleep with you, Aris. Wake up! I bet it’s all an act.”
I knew it wasn’t. Maybe I was being foolish for trusting the good intentions of the Free Bird leader, but that guy whom everyone saw as a hopeless delinquent seemed transparent to me. I could see the broken human behind the self-protective shield he’d erected around himself.
“Ugh, this is just what we needed...” Lizzie’s worried voice pulled me out of my thoughts.
I also sat up, turning my face in the direction she was looking.
Then I fully understood her concern as I saw two members of Free Bird approaching us. And not just any members, but the same guy who had taunted me almost a month ago at the restaurant, along with the girl who had overheard me telling my life story to Lizzie.
The two stopped right in front of us, staring directly at me.
It was the blonde who started speaking:
“So, refugee? We need to have a quick chat with you.”
Before I could say anything, Lizzie stepped forward:
“Is this going to be the xenophobia combo?”
The two looked at my friend with the same disgusted expression they had for me. And the girl – I remembered her name: Zoe – said:
“Just stay out of this, foreigner. Our problem is only with your friend here.” She turned back to me. “We know you’ve been keeping Dimitris Makris kind of... busy.”
“Everyone has their peculiar tastes...” the guy grumbled, clearly insulting me.
Lizzie stood up, pulling my hand to help me get up as well.
“Let’s go, Aris. You don’t have to listen to this crap.”
The two positioned themselves in front of us, blocking our way.
And Zoe continued:
“I don’t care who Dimitris is sleeping with. But his thing with you has gone too far. He’s been skipping the arena, arriving late, delivering a ridiculous performance in the maneuvers... And we know he’s been meeting with you too much.”
Her friend took over:
“I should have suspected it from the day he tried to pick a fight with me to defend a damn half-Syrian, half-Turkish girl raised by disgusting lesbians.”
I took a step toward him, staring at him with a hatred I didn’t remember feeling before in my life.
“Watch your fucking tongue before you talk about my family, you piece of shit.”
He gritted his teeth, clearly furious. He hadn’t expected a response from me.
“Know your place. Who do you think you are to talk to me like that?”