Aris

September 22.
Thirty-eight people for three spots...
Sometimes it feels like my life is entirely governed by numbers and statistics.
And I’m pretty fed up with it.
I’m exhausted from being a number and not a person.
The audition was taking place in one of the university’s theaters, and it was a distinguished panel judging. Without a doubt, the most famous name in the audience was Odília Magalos, but she was there just to watch and wasn’t part of the judging panel, as I had learned she had been in previous years. At least not in this category, probably due to the conflict of interest with one of her employees competing for a spot.
From the wings, I watched the performances before mine. Out of the thirty-eight, I had been, by random draw, placed as the thirty-second to take the stage, which was quite torturous, as it forced me to closely watch most of my competitors for a spot.
And they were, for the most part, absolutely incredible. One of them had stood out the most so far, and there was no doubt that one of the spots would be hers. Probably first place, at least among all those I had seen up to that point.
"Thirty-second candidate, Aris Katsaros," I heard one of the judges call, and after taking a deep breath, I stepped onto the stage with slow, unsure steps.
I thought of Iris at that moment and her comment about wanting her mother to see one of her performances. And there, more than ever, I understood that sentiment. I really wanted someone familiar in the audience among all those strangers. But Lizzie couldn’t come, as she had an audition for her theater group at the same time. And, of course, my family couldn’t come either, simply because they couldn’t even imagine I was doing this.
Well, there was the familiar face of Odília Magalos, but that wasn’t exactly reassuring to me. There was no warmth or encouragement in her gaze, only expectation and pressure.
It was then, as I scanned the auditorium in the seconds before the music began, that I saw him. Sitting in the last row of seats, his eyes fixed on me.
Dimitris was there. He had come to see me.

Honestly, it was quite hard to understand him. Just a day ago, he had gone from the extreme of beating someone to defend me to treating me poorly and saying I should stay far away from him. And now, he was here, showing up at an important moment for me.
Confusing me seemed to be the forbidden boy’s specialty.
However, I had to admit I was happy he was there.
The music started playing, and I began my performance. As I did, my mind drifted back to the rehearsal nights, when Dimitris was the only one watching me. So I tried to picture the current moment as if he were the only one there, watching me.
I felt some apprehension during the Entrelacé, but I managed to execute it perfectly, with no imbalance at the end. And when I finished the performance, striking a pose, I felt my heart race in that good way.
Partly because of the dance. And partly because I knew Dimitris was there.
I greeted the judges and left, making way for the next candidate. I hurried around the backstage of the theater, exiting through a side door at the back of the auditorium. If I hadn’t rushed, I wouldn’t have caught up with Dimitris, as he had stood up and was heading towards the exit.
He stopped as soon as he saw me, and I went up to him.
"You came..." My voice was low, almost a whisper. Partly because we could be kicked out of the auditorium, even though we were at the back and far from the stage. And partly because of the surprise of seeing Dimitris there.
"I had a class in this building today," he replied nonchalantly. "I was walking by, heard the music, and decided to come in and watch."
"I see. You must really be curious about dance..." I said with irony.
"Well... My curiosity was actually about seeing your performance after so many hours of rehearsal. I wanted to know if you’d do well. But it’s true that I was leaving a class and happened to pass by."
I shook my head, pretending to believe the latter part.

"So, what did you think?" I asked, referring to my performance.
"You were great. You’ll definitely get a spot."
The sound of someone clapping enthusiastically in the audience caught our attention, and we both turned our faces toward the stage. The thirty-third participant was executing one of the most perfect fouettés I had ever seen.
"That looks difficult," Dimitris commented.
"It’s just one of the hardest ballet steps."
"Well... There are three spots, right?"
I couldn’t help but laugh at Dimitris’s attempt to encourage me, even though he had just realized that the girl probably already had one of the spots secured. My chances were getting slimmer.
I turned back to look at him.
"So... Did you come here to apologize for being a jerk yesterday?"
"I’ve been a jerk countless times in my life, Aris. And what I said to you yesterday isn’t on that list. Maybe just the cigarette part, but not the words. I don’t take back anything I said."
I turned my gaze back to the stage. The thirty-fourth participant was starting her performance, and she was very good as well.
"Planning to punch someone today?" I asked.
"It’s eleven in the morning; we have a long day ahead."
"At least for the next half hour?"
"I don’t have that immediate plan."
"So, you’re not a risk to me if you stay until the announcement of the finalists, right?"
I looked back at him and noticed the hesitation on his face. However, he eventually nodded, and I felt grateful for that. I was in such a state of anxiety that I really needed someone’s company.
And I would really enjoy having his.
I leaned my hands on the back of one of the chairs in the last row, which was right in front of us. Dimitris and I sat in silence for a few minutes until the current performance ended and the thirty-fifth competitor took the stage.
"Are you okay?" he asked, without looking at me, feigning indifference.
"In what way?"
"Physically."
Of course... Why would he ask about my emotional state, risking me bringing up how he treated me the day before?
"I don’t think I’m about to have a heart attack, so you can relax," I replied.
"That’s not what I’m referring to. You look tired."
It didn’t take much to notice that. I had needed to apply several layers of makeup that morning to try to conceal the depth of my dark circles.