Enjoying married life

*Calliope*
“Sheep. Smelly creatures," Zac mutters.

“My nose is so cold that I can’t smell anything," I say with a laugh.

Reaching over, Zac squeezes my gloved hand where it rests on the pommel. “Forgive me. I shouldn't have brought you out in this weather.”

“Nonsense. I wanted to see the estate."

The weather is bracing, not ideal for riding, but when Zac suggested an outing, I had not been able to resist. I want to do everything with him, explore our new home.

“I think it will be lovely come spring," I add.

Placing his hand behind my head, he holds me steady while he leans in and kisses me. “You're lovely now.”

I feel the warmth suffuse my face. His remarks, delivered with such ease, always makes my heart flutter madly. I wish I could return them and tell him that he is remarkably handsome, because he is, but the words, which when spoken to me brought such joy, somehow seem silly when said to a man.

Straightening, he looks out over the rolling land.

“If you don’t like the sheep," I begin, “perhaps you can convince your brother to allow you to raise something else.”

“The sheep belong to the tenants, who lease the land from him. Besides, it irks me to ask my brother to allow me to do something."

I feel a spark of guilt. He has been forced into this because of his marriage to me.

“If you could do anything at all, what would it be?” I ask.

Shifting in his saddle, calming his horse as it sidestepped, he glances around, studying the land, and I can see that he is giving a good deal of thought to my words.

“I would spend all day in bed with my wife every day. "

I laugh. “Is that all?"

“And feed her strawberries.”

I shake my head at his silliness. “That's not very ambitious.”

“It’s not, is it?" He gazes into the distance. “I gave my future so little thought. Until you came into it, I was content to take each day as it came. I made no plans. I was a High dragon, my brother gave me an allowance, and I was content. I can hardly fathom now that I settled for so little, so easily. "

“You were a very young man." He still is. “And then you joined a war and that was not so little or so easy.”

“Yes, the military life. Of which I remember so very little." He narrows his eyes, clenching his jaw. “Horses, I think.”

“Pardon?”

“Horses. I’d like to raise horses.”

“For racing?"

“For the army.”

“Why don't you then?"

Shifting his gaze over to me, he smiles. “You don’t see anything as impossible, do you?”

“Not if you truly want it. How badly do you want it?”

“I’m not sure I gave it much thought until recently. But smelling these sheep, I’ll want it more with each passing day. I'll be selling my commission. That will bring in some funds. I have the salary the regiment paid me. I hardly spent any of it." He shrugs. “It could be a start."

“I think you should give it a go."

I can see the wonder in his eyes. “I don't know if I’ve ever had anyone have such faith in me before."

“How can I not? I know you. I know your courage and your determination. You have a strong heart. I regret that in losing your memories you lost sight of the remarkable man you are, but I have no doubt you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Anything."

“You humble me, Callie. Damn, but you do.” He pulls on the reins, turning his horse about. “Come along, let's get home so I can warm you.”

He warms me in the bed, then he warms me in the bathtub, the heated water lapping at my skin. I am nestled between his legs, my back to his chest, his hands gliding languorously over me.

“Do you think we shall ever grow tired of each other?” I ask.

“God, I hope not.”

I feel pleasure that has nothing to do with physical sensations spiral through me. “I fear you will grow bored with me."

He trails his finger along my neck, across my shoulder, down my arm. “I won’t."

His words are spoken with conviction today, but what of tomorrow? Will he speak them as assuredly tomorrow? Or next week? Or next month? He had been kind to me in the hospital but took another to his bed. Had he told that woman that he would never grow bored with her?

“What is the longest you’ve ever been faithful to a woman?" I ask.

“Do you really want to talk about all my conquests?”

I twist around, the water splashing over the side of the tub. “Yes. Were there many?"

“Too many to count.”

“What was the longest?”

He touches his finger to my lips. “I have told you. I was a cad. There was never one woman who held my attention to the exclusion of all others.”

“You saw more than one woman at a time?”

He shrugs. “I made certain they understood… I had no desire to be limited to one woman.”

My stomach dips. I can’t bear the thought of him wandering. What sort of woman would want him desperately enough to take him on any terms? Oh, God, a woman such as me, who would lie to have him. “Then you must be frightfully bored with me already. "

He tucks my damp hair behind my ear. “On the contrary, I've never been quite so… enthralled. Each moment with you is a discovery. And this is truly odd… something I can't quite fathom."

His brow is deeply furrowed, his eyes so incredibly serious as to almost frighten me. “What? What is so odd?”

“I enjoy talking with you, just being with you almost as much as I enjoy making love to you."

Releasing a light laugh, I bury my face against his neck.

“You find it humorous?" he asks.

“I find it remarkable." I cradle his jaw, rub my finger over the abrasive stubble that he will no doubt shave before going to bed for the night. It is darker than his hair, giving him a rugged, dangerous air. “I want a marriage like Djuna and Morton have. You’ve given me hope that we might eventually achieve that.”

“Djuna and Morton ? You do not want a marriage such as theirs."

“But I do. When they look at each other it is so obvious they adore each other.”

“He married her for her dowry."

“And you married me because of your son." I shake my head briskly. “You’re correct. I should not have taken the conversation down this path.”

I settle back against him. He presses his lips to the nape of my neck. “We're to visit them at Christmas," he says quietly. “Unless you’d rather stay here.”

I would. I am content here, safe. I never want to leave. But we cannot hide away forever.

“We should be with your family. It'll be nice to have a proper Christmas.”

He folds his arms around me, hugging me tightly. “Ah, Callie, forgive me. I forget. I suppose we were both in the war last Christmas.”

Nodding, I run my hand along his thigh, feeling the scar beneath my palm, grateful that I can touch it now and it causes him no pain.

“What was it like?" he asks quietly.

“Cold, miserable. We were working in the hospital twelve to fifteen hours a day. I was so exhausted. It was late. I was changing a bandage when I realized it was Christmas, and I began to sing Silent Night. Then everyone in the ward was singing it. I could not hold back the tears."

“Was I gone by then?"

“Yes, you had returned to your regiment. I thought of you, though. Wished you well." I scoff. “As I recall, I think I wished us both home by the next Christmas. I suppose I should be a bit more careful in what I wish for.”

“What would you like for this Christmas?"

Twisting around, I straddle his hips. “One to remember."

“Knowing my family, that should not be difficult to grant you."