His pain

*Zac*
I leave orders with three male servants and two housemaids that one of them is to be watching Calliope at all times, and under no circumstances is Zane to leave the residence. I don’t trust her any farther than I can throw her.

I don’t trust myself either. Not to crawl back to her, not to curl around her and apologize, not to forgive her. So I take myself to London, to Draco’s residence, where I can indulge in fine liquor and brood to my heart’s content. I know I had been rash in giving her a full week to say good-bye. I should have given her a day. An hour. Half that.

Damnation, I want her gone because she preys on my mind. How could I have come to love such a deceitful wench?

“This residence does have other rooms, you know," Draco says as he strides across the library and drops into the chair across from me.

I hoist my glass, down its contents, and refill it. “This room suits.”

“You have been here for three days. You are starting to reek.” He says wrinkling his nose.

Leaning forward, elbows on my knees, I study the whiskey, the color of her eyes. I will always think of her when I indulge in my favorite drink. “Irony. I finally have something that I wish to forget, and I don’t think I will be able to.”

“Calliope?” He asks.

I lift my gaze to my brother’s before returning it to study the glass. “Her eyes are this color, you know. When I hold it up to the light…” I demonstrate. “…I can see her happy. And when I bring it back to the shadows, I can see the pain that I inflicted on her with our final parting."

“You are not going to see her again?” He asks.

I shake my head. “I left instructions with Spencer. He is to give her a thousand pounds, put her in a carriage, deliver her to London, and let her make her own way."

“What of Fancy?" He asks.

“I shall move her into Roseglenn." I tell him.

His eyes narrow slightly, “Without benefit of marriage?”

“A divorce is not easily obtained." I mumble.

“Is that what you desire?" My brother asks.

I shake my head, “I want to be rid of her.”

Draco scrapes the edge of his thumb over the arm of the chair, creating an irritating rasping that I fight to ignore. “What if... she was telling the truth?"

“About?” I ask.

“About Fancy leaving the boy with her." He says.

I sigh, “It would be impossible to prove. So it is one woman’s word against another’s.”

“You choose to believe Fancy?" He asks, he doesn’t sound to agree.

“She may be a bit o’ muslin, but she’s always been honest. Calliope lied about her relationship to the child; she led me to believe we had a night together, which we did not. She deceived me into marrying her." I expalin, maybe trying to convince myself too.

My brother gives a slow shrug, “I don’t think it would be impossible to find out what really happened in Paris. I could send a man over, have him make inquiries. Jeanette might know where they resided.”

“It’s been months. Who would remember her?" I ask.

“A woman with hair the unusual shade of hers? She may not be a great beauty, but she is hardly forgettable." He says.

I sigh, “And yet I forgot her."

“You forgot everything." He points out.

I narrow my eyes, studying my brother, who has once again taken to scratching at the chair. I have never known Draco to be uncomfortable. Nervous. It doesn’t signify. “Damn it. You have already sent a man."

“I didn’t see the harm." He says.

“Why are you trying to prove her right? You have mistrusted her from the beginning." I point out.

He nods, “From the beginning, I sensed that something was off. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. So yes, I distrusted her. Yes, I was searching for proof that my instincts were right. But to steal the babe in order to force you into marriage? She thought you were dead. I saw her face when she learned you were alive. She was truly shocked and... immensely relieved."

“Fancy is right. She stole the babe for gain. She came to you wanting money.” I mumble.

“Her father wanted money. All she asked was to be allowed to remain as the child’s nanny." He says.

The same thoughts swirl through my mind with the whiskey. I had been so angry, felt so betrayed... dishonesty marred her actions.

“She said she loved Zane, didn’t tell me the truth because she thought she could only assure that she remained in his life if we thought she was his mother," I mutter.

“Perhaps we should not have been so quick to draw conclusions.” Draco says.

I look at him, “Have you talked with Mother about this situation?"

“She is off enjoying the waters with Luna Lynn.” He says.

“That does not mean you have not told her." I reply.

He sighs, “You are a suspicious soul."

“Because those around me are continually conniving and plotting." I toss back my whiskey. “Let me know the moment your man returns.”

I refill my glass and move it from shadow to light, light to shadow. Sadness to joy. Laughter to tears. Despair to hope. Love to emptiness.