Promises

*Calliope*
After me and Zac finishes our dance, I go in search of Fancy. I have to find her, talk with her, here, now. I spot her quickly, standing near some fronds. My nerves knotting, I approach her. “I wondered if you might like to step out on the terrace for a bit of brisk air."

“I would. Thank you." She says.

Once outside, we move quietly to a corner where we would not be seen or heard.

“Your mate seems quite smitten with you," the woman who had given birth to Zane said.

“I love him, Sarah," I say.

She shakes her head, “Fancy. I left Sarah in Paris."

I nod. “You left Zane as well. And me. With no word. For the longest time, I didn’t know what to do, or if you were planning to return."

“I have never been very good at ciphering,” Fancy says, “but I stood there watching you dance, striving to determine how it is that you and Zac could have a son when it has been only six months since I last saw you. I am also considering the conversation that Zac and I had and what was not said. Does Zac know you are not the boy’s mother?"

“I am Zane’s mother. In my heart. From the moment you placed him in my keeping." I tell her.

She giggles, “Oh, that’s rich. I go through the pain and humiliation of bearing an illegitimate child and you reap the rewards by marrying his father, a knight of the realm.”

“He wasn’t a knight when I married him. You had no desire to marry him. You said so back in the war. Besides, you are betrothed now, to an lord.”

Fancy laughs harshly, an unhappy sound reverberating from her throat. “Betrothed? Wherever did you get that notion?"

“You said you were with him." I point out.

“As his mistress. He is my benefactor.” She says with a small shrug.

I hardly know what to say. Why would a woman choose being one man’s mistress over being Zac’s wife?

“Don’t look so shocked,” Fancy says. “I’m the illegitimate daughter of a dragon lord. No man with the means to provide for me as I wish to be provided for is going to want to take me to wife. And no man would take me as mistress if I came with the baggage of a child. A man needs to be reassured that a lady in my position knows what she is about and would not litter the world with his bastards.”

I can’t believe the cold, calculating attitude. “But surely you cared for Zac.”

“He was fun. No more than that." She laughs lightly. “I can see you still don’t understand. Darling, you wear a string of pearls. I am draped in diamonds."

But I have Zac, I think. And he is worth far more than baubles and frippery. And I have Zane.

Fancy turns away from me and gazes out on the lighted garden. “How does my son fare?"

“Zane is well." I tell her.

“Give him a kiss for me tonight, would you?" She asks.

I nod, “Yes, of course."

“Well, I have best get back to Dearboume," Fancy says, spinning back around.

I think I see a glistening in Fancy’s eyes, but she blinks them back so quickly, I can’t be sure.

“Really, my dear, you shouldn’t wear your heart on your sleeve. Even in the war, I knew where your affections lay." She says.

“Why were you there?" I can’t help but ask.

“For Zac, of course. I had known him back here, but I was not yet ready to give him up. I wasn’t exactly honest about my experience and training, but I was still able to impress Miss Nightingale. Imagine my surprise, though, when I discovered the hospital where we would work was so far away from where the soldiers were fighting. As happy as Zac was to have me near, once he returned to the regiment, there was no hope for it. I could not see him. It grew wearisome. Then, of course, I had to leave." She touches her white gloved hand to my face. “I think you are the only friend I ever had. I knew if you knew the child I carried was Zac’s that you’d go to Paris with me. Still, I misjudged you. I didn’t think you’d use the child to land the father."

“It was not my intent," I confess earnestly. “I thought he was dead. I was returning Zane to his family.”

“But you told them you were his mother. Why would you tarnish your reputation so?"

I nod with the weight of the shame of it. “I had fallen in love with Zane by then. I was afraid I’d not be able to remain in his life if they thought he was not mine. You won’t tell Zac... the truth, will you?”

“What sort of friend would I be if I did?" She asks with a smile I can’t quite read.

She glides away, her movements so smooth and sensuous that it is as though her feet don’t even touch the ground. Now it is I who turns and stares out at the garden. Why am I not calmed by Fancy’s reassurance? Why do I feel that I am standing on a precipice and that one false step will send me spiraling over the edge, snatching from me both Zane and Zac?