Leaving

*Calliope*
As I pack the last of my belongings into the trunk, I admit that seven days have not been nearly enough time, but I have crammed a lifetime of memories into them.

I sing lullabies to Zane and allow him to sleep in the bed with me. With servants dogging my footsteps, I stroll with him through the garden and show him a newly forming bud. He could not care less, but he gurgles anyway. Spring will soon be upon us. Jeanette will be staying on, and she promises to send reports. It is even possible that our paths might cross in a park or two.

I consider fighting for my right to stay, trying again to convince Zac that I have not deceived him. But I can’t remain here as his mate. He, who promised on a cold night a lifetime ago to never harm me, has effectively and with harsh words broken that promise. I think about telling him, but I have no desire to add to the memory of that night that I have already given him.

It no longer matters which of our behaviors is the most egregious. We have both wronged each other. Our pasts… what I remember, what he does not… make matters all the worse. I can see no hope for reconciliation. And so I see no reason to stay.

I will not allow Zane to grow up in a household where his father despises his mother. He will not lack for love. He will receive plenty from Jeanette in that regard. And Fancy will no doubt ignore him for the most part, which in all likelihood is for the best.

It cuts me deeply to think of Fancy warming Zac’s bed, and so I shove it from my mind as I have cast out other painful memories. They will no doubt visit when I sleep, and I won’t have Zac to make them retreat. But I will find a way to deal with it.

Adversity has strengthened me. I will survive.

A rap sounds, and the door opens. The maid curtsies. "M'lady, the carriage is waiting. James is here to take your trunk down."

“He may have it." I walk from the room and down the hallway to the nursery.

Jeanette stops bouncing Zane on her lap. “This is not fair."

“Fair is what we make it." I lift Zane into my arms and sway back and forth. “Oh, my precious boy, I shall miss you. Your father is a good man, even if he is amazingly stupid. Know I shall always be with you."

I kiss his brow, then hug Jeanette, wanting Zane close to me for as long as possible. I consider taking him down the stairs, but I am on the verge of tears. Nothing will be gained by delaying the inevitable. I return him to Jeanette’s waiting arms.

“Take good care of my precious child. Love him as though he were your own." I tell her.

With tears clouding my eyes, Jeanette nods. I straighten my spine, the better to bear the weight of my burden, and stride from the room.

I am halfway down the stairs when I see Zac standing in the entry hallway. Sunlight pours in through the windows and creates a halo around his handsome form, making him appear to be some sort of angel. One night, he had been my avenging angel.

But I can tell by the set of his jaw, the hardness in his eyes, that he won’t be saving me today. I come to a stop before him. I want to hate him with every fiber of my being, but I can’t. I owe him too much. And somewhere buried within the shards of my heart is one remnant that still beats for him and him alone.

We stare at each other for a moment that seems to stretch into years.

Finally, he removes an envelope from his jacket pocket. “A thousand pounds to help you get settled somewhere."

“Keep it. Use it to pay for the silver I stole.”

He shakes his head, “Calliope, you can’t leave here with nothing.”

“I leave with my pride." I sweep around him and march out the door, down the steps, a steady refrain pounding with each landing of my shoes that takes me farther from my child.

I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry.

With my head held high, I approach the waiting carriage.

“Calliope?”

Taking in a shuddering breath, I shore up my resolve, my strength to once again face him. I spin around.

For a heartbeat, he seems uncertain standing there. “Why did you keep Zane?"

“I have already told you. Because he was part of you."

“And if I hadn’t married you?" He asks.

I shrug, “I find it a trivial waste of time to speculate on what might have been or might not have been."

He isn’t happy with my answer. He had wanted more. I no longer care what he wants.

“When you are settled, please send word where you are,” he says. “It will make things easier if I know how my solicitor may get in touch as we seek to separate our lives.”

A divorce then. He is going to divorce me. More shame and humiliation. I have borne much worse.

I angle my chin. “I have a wish for you, dear husband. I pray you never remember what happened in Scutari. For if you do, you will never forgive yourself.”

I swiftly turn and, with the help of the servant, climb into the carriage. I don’t glance out the window as the carriage rolls by. I don’t want my last image to be of Zac standing forlorn in the drive or of Jeanette standing at an upstairs window holding Zane close.

But with each clop of the horses’ hooves that takes me away, I feel my strength seeping out of me. By the time we turn onto the main road, I am sobbing inconsolably. I have never felt such pain, and I have suffered greatly in the past. But this is worse than anything I have ever experienced. I don’t know how I will survive it.

Suddenly, there is a shout. “Halt! Hold up there!”

The carriage comes to a thundering stop. Is it rogues?

Oh, dear Goddess, not brutes, not again. The door swings open, I scream at the top of my lungs, and lunge toward the shadowy figure.

“Hey! Here now," he says, grabbing my wrists, pulling me close, stilling my actions. “Lady Dragon. It’s me, Leo."

Recognizing the voice now, I sag against him. “I’m sorry. You must think me a ninny.” I look up into his kind face. He grins.

“I suspect you have had a very upsetting day.” He hands me his handkerchief. “Come along with me, the Princess wishes to see you.”

I shake my head, “I have no desire for further chastisement.”

“My dear, she intends to provide you with sanctuary."



The dragon’s stolen heir
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