Chapter Twenty-Three

Maybe, if I looked like a Black girl should -- thick thighs, fat ass, flat stomah – like a guitar, I could get away with being average. But to hell with all that. I'm done quelling the opinion of strangers about how ugly I am, about how my body is supposed to look. I didn't even trust the reflection I saw in the mirror. I wanted to be perfect. To have the perfect smile. If only my boobs would sit higher and firmer on my chest. If I could be taller. Only if my body was slimmer. If I could burn calories a bit faster. Why couldn't I have Mama's light skin? Or Mlondo's blinding teeth? I’m sure I’m not the only one who's had these thoughts.”
I stop and wait for a few to agree with me. Everyone nods..
“Stop seeking perfection. It just doesn't exist. Ya are ruining it for the rest of us (and yerself) by reinforcing the increasingly accepted expectation of slimmer bodies, bigger boobs, rounder asses, fairer skin tones. Let go of the dream. The kind of woman ya think is perfect? She's still seeking perfection herself. W are all unhappy about one thing or the other. We as women should celebrate each other. Today we say dear body: I love ya, I see ya, I value ya, I will take care of ya, I accept ya. We women are extremely beautiful. For a long time we’ve been told having whiter skin is more attractive. To hell with that. Now let's dance and celebrate each other. Oi?”
They agree, “Oi. Oi. Oi.”
Queen Mother leads us outside. Mlondo is at my side hanging onto my arm when King Father, who was pacing back and forth, looks up at his sister. He takes the Queen's hand and they move away from the crowd. That's when I notice the unmistakable cat claws at his face. Though not bleeding, the wounds are red and appear to be swollen.
Queen Mother keeps looking around, making sure they're alone, I presume. She looks different today. Her lips are painted blue instead of the usual pink.
Then very suddenly Queen Mother's gaze finds mine and she says something that makes her brother give me a fleeting look before they abruptly separate.
"What's wrong," Mlondo asks me.
"N-nothing." I shake my head. “I could be wrong but earlier I found a dead cat and now the king is hurt...by a cat.”
Harder to shake off is the feeling I got from reading the Queen's lips -- Get rid of her. Her lips read.
I'm just being paranoid, right?
“Did ya losing something?” Mlondo asks.
“Huh?” I perk up.
“Ye searching the crowding. ya wait on someone?”
“Oh. I...I'm trying to find the Queen.”
“There.” She jerks her head and I follow the direction of her chin.
There, coming out of the forest, wearing the pink lipstick but with blue stains on the sleeve of her dress. "Keep an eye on her,” I tell Mondo.
“Why?”
“I don't know.” I hesitate, watching the King, something just doesn't seem right. Usually I'm right about these things.
Queen Mother taps the mic she's holding. Silence befalls us.
"Um...er a minute of yer time please before we begin. There's been a few cats found dead in the forest. We believe there might be someone murdering them. There was a series of thefts yesterday from Noddon Academy to Mandela Dr to the streets downtown and they all happened in broad daylight. That's why yer King and I, together with the council have declared a national shut down. There will be no school, no kids roaming the streets, everyone stay at home. Further details will be communicated to you and so from tomorrow Noddon is officially on lockdown. We are facing a crisis. Possibly, the strongest, smartest person to ever walk Noddon. Our people will perish should we not find a permanent solution."
We all hold our breaths. Someone farts. At least Mlondo finds this funny. I'm paralyzed.
The Queen sighs. "As a warning to all of ya, I hope I'm making myself clear. There's something lurking in those woods, ready to kill and so until otherwise stated, stay at I felt a powerful urge to get up and go to her side, to comfort her somehow, only I didn't know what she would find comforting. .
“ Oh, and please, if anyone saw anything suspicious, anything at all. Please contact Madam Thembi. Lets combat this before it becomes a thing.”
Mlondo shrugs. “See?” she asks. “There's no reason to suspect them.”
“Ai. No. Something just doesn't add up,” I say, frowning at the Queen.
I turn to walk away.
"Stop! What the hell ya doing?”
“Going to ask the King how he got hurt, of course.”
"Imani,” Mlondo hisses as I walk away. “Imani. Imani. Shit. Shit.”
The crowd parts as I approach. I expect Mlondo to follow but she has enough sense not to. The King's dragon stops in front of me and sputs fire into the air, a warning. I pause. The dragon thinks it's owner is in danger, and it'd do anything to protect the King. Hesitating I look behind me, Mlondo is desperately waving me back to her. Another Dragon issues a warning to the King's. D'ziko is nowhere to be seen but his dragon is flying over me, terrifying everyone into silence. The King keeps murmuring under his breath. His dragon backs away. D'ziko's dragon moves with him, each crowd I pass moves further away from me.
“King Mawu,” I say. He tenses.
He gives a curt nod. “Goddess Imani.”
“I just wanted to personally thank ya for going the extra mile on making today a success.”
“Thank ya, “ he says. His hand is covering the side of his face.
“Ja.” I hesitate.
“Was there anything else?” he asks.
“No. No. I should get going.”
He doesn't answer.
I pretend to be shocked. “Oh Leza, ya're hurt.” And I ambush him, peeling his hand away to look at the wound.
He rips himself off me, waving me away and cries, “I'm fine. I'm fine.”
“Ya should get it checked out. We don't want it to get infected. What happened anyway?”
“Oh...this?” He gives a nervous chuckle. “It's nothing."
"I hope it bets better," I say as I walk away.
"Yes, yes," the King says.
D'ziko's dragon disappears into the skies. I frown. Where'd it come from to begin with?
Mlondo glares at me, frowning. “It's official. Ya want to dead,” she says as soon as I’m close enough.
We congregate around the rondavels to sing and dance. This is where the testing takes place. We all sing and dance while one girl goes inside to get tested. Mlondo moves away from me and joins the group doing a traditional dance. Compared to the rest of the maidens she's dancing with, she’s the most talented. She lifts her legs high above her head, the way the elders always encourage us and soon the other maidens move to the sides as we cheer Mlondo on. Now that she knows she has an audience, her feet move faster. A sangoma -- traditional healer -- joins us and beats a drum for us.
I have no choice but to move now. To dance. The Noddon in me can't resist. It's a demon possession and I lose myself in the music, in the dance, lifting my legs as high as they can go. The noise around me propels me to go faster.
We dance around and sing as one by one the other maidens are tested. Then it's my turn. My heart drums as fast as the drums I'm leaving behind me. I've done this a million times before, long before I even knew what it was but I'm still shaking. It's as if it’s my first time.
I walk into the dark room. There are three women in here. They greet me. I can do this. The virginity tester is sitting on her knees. She directs me to the grass mat and I know what to do. The crowds outside are suddenly quiet. Awaiting the outcome. Just breathe, Imani. In. Out. Breathe.
The pressure ... I know I haven't slept with a boy before but now that I've claimed the most respected seat in Noddon, this reed dance thing is no longer my want. The crowds see me as a role model. I don't want to be. I'm too young for this.
The virginity tester points me to the mat again. I hesitate. I could walk out the door right now. Run far away, into the Saboni world. Never come back. I swallow. Let's do this. I can't just abandon Noddon. I have to find out who's responsible for the annual death of hundreds of teenagers. I can't allow anymore people to lose their brothers or sisters in the brutal way I lost Commodore.
I lie down and spread my legs wide open. We don't bother wearing underwear today. It's a waste of time. I close my eyes. This moment is the most embarrassing.
The tester opens my vagina and it’s like when ya enlarge something on yer touchscreen phone.