Chp 40

“I'm not hungry,” I say.
“I should be in the going too,” Mondo says, walking to the door. “Later, girly.”
“Later girls.”
My mother wanted to name me Patience.
I would've been totally fine with it. But I'm so glad she changed her mind at the last minute.
Apparently I didn't look like a Patience. She says the second I was out in the world, I was ready to eat. Impatient. Even if I was. I doubt it was anything as bad as this. I'm pacing back and forth between the small space from my bed and the wall. Minutes waste away. I sit on the edge of the bed, and click my fingernails.
It's unusual for D'ziko not to be home at this hour. There's a sound outside, I snap my attention to the window. My robe catches as I stumble to it. I push the curtains aside and crane my neck for a better few. It's just a deer. Not D'ziko.
Where is he? Is he safe?
There's a knock at my door. I race toward it.
I don't know why I'm disappointed when I don't find D'ziko on the other side. It's a maid and I step aside to let her in. She wheels a tray in front of her.
D'ziko never uses the door anyway. Too risky. Too many eye-witnesses. He always comes in through the window.
"Yer Dinner, Goddess Imani."
The thought of eating when I don't know what the hell happened to D'ziko turns my stomach. What has the Essence Thief done to him? If the Essence Thief gets ahold of D'ziko and his powers then Noddon's doomed. We are doomed. I try to convince myself that D'ziko is fine. The Essence Thief left alone. I saw him leave. I chased him out of the house into the woods. He was alone. Alone. But what if by the time I'd woken up the thief had already kidnapped D'ziko? What if he'd already locked him away somewhere.
What if D'ziko is dead?
The pounding in my head intensifies. My fear is irrational, right? I would know if something was wrong with D'ziko. I'm his life mate. Don't lifemates feel when the other is dead?
No.
He's alive. He's alive. He's alive. My new mantra.
The girl looks at me, her brows knitted together.
Annoyed, I almost ask her what she's still doing here but then I realise I haven't dismissed her yet.
"I didn't request food to my chambers," I point out. "...thanks anyway."
"Rowena's instructions."
"Of course Mama sent ya." I don't know why I hesitate but then I shrug and say, "Thank ya."
She nods once. "I've left yer food at the table."
I wave her off. "Ya're dismissed."
I rush to the window again and look out into the darkness. There's nothing but trees and ferns and the sound of night animals.
She bows but doesn't move.
I narrow my eyes. "Was there anything else?"
"I found this at the fridge." She points behind me, her hand trembles. "I think it's yers?"
Gee. Thanks. How smart.
I peer through the window.
I look at her over my shoulder. "What does it say?" My voice doesn't sound the least bit interested.
The silence deepens.
I worry she's left and I rip my eyes from the forest edge and look at her. Her eyes scan the note but no words leave her mouth.
"What is it?" I'm running towards her. "Is it bad news?"
"No...I..."
I stop dead in my tracks. "Then why are ya on the verge of tears?"
She looks at her feet. "Well, I...I can't...it's..."
"What is it," I say, taking her hand. "Talk to me."
She looks at me and back down at the letter when she looks back at me again her lower lip quivers. "I'm sorry."
So am I. "ya can't read can ya?"
I learned to read because Mama has vast knowledge of that. She has a library back at home with all kinds of books. Not many Noddons have that privilege.
The maid ducks her head, but she doesn’t deny it.
"It's okay," I say, gesturing in the direction of the table. "I'll read it myself. Put it on the table. Thank ya."
She bows again and practically runs out the door.
I sit down to eat, picking at my plate. It seems my eyes are permanently glued to the clock. It ticks away. Each second that goes by the bean of anxiety in my stomach sinks lower and grows bigger.
I get up and pace again. I tire an hour later and sit back down. Trying to eat. I can't.
A harsh breeze sweeps the room. I turn to the window to close it and there he is. The moon directly behind him and I just about weep in relief.
His eyes are excited but as he studies my face further they gloom.
"What is it?" He's walking towards me. Those strong arms inviting me for a hug.
I'm torn. I want to run straight to his warm embrace but at the same time I can't bring myself to forget how angry I am with him. He left in the middle of the night without so much as an explanation. A simple: I'll see ya later, would've been more than fine. I wouldn't have worried about him needlessly.
D'ziko makes the decision before I can. His arms find the perfect spot around me. He presses me against his chest. "What's wrong?"
I summon my willpower and rip my body away from his.
"Ya have any idea how worried I was about ya?"
He leans against the walls, hands in his pockets, legs crossed at the ankles. Silent.
"It's midnight." I tip my chin up and cross my arms. "And ya just now got home. I didn't know if something bad had happened."
He frowns, his eyes scanning the room. "But I left a note."
"What note?" Oh. Yeah. I remember now. "Who leaves notes these days? There are crows for a reason."
He looks at me like I just spoke in tongues. "A lot of people do it."
I grit my teeth. "A lot of people did it. This was a Shakespeare tradition."
He laughs. "Ya're being silly," he sobers up really quick, "but I'm sorry I worried ya. Next time--" His words trail off as if he doesn't know what he was going to say anyway.
I stare up at him. He stares back, thoughtful, but I can’t tell if the silver eyes hide any emotions or not.
He sighs. "There won't be a next time."
That's good enough for me. I nod. "So where'd ya go?"
He starts toward me and this time I don't hesitate, I throw my arms around him at once. He smells like sweat and merryz. Dirty but I don't care. I bury my face in his neck.
"The Essence Thief was here," he murmurs. His fingers comb through my hair. "I heard a commotion outside. She was whispering the same words as she made her way down the hall. I was looking through the peephole. The second she passed, a guard would fall down, snoring loudly."
"What was she saying?"
"Sleep."
"That's not usually how hypnosis works."
I don't know what comes over me but I touch my lips to D'ziko's neck, hoping he won't notice. The pounding of his heart intensifies.
D'ziko flinches. He begins to take a step back, stops. "She's too powerful."
I stroll across the plush carpet to the mini bar and pour myself some water. I definitely need something stronger. "But how can that be?"
"She might've stolen two gifts. Combining Hypnosis and Sleep ability would give someone the sort of power the thief possess."
"Ya weren't affected." I take a sip. "Why?"
D'ziko shrugs. "I don't know but Whele reckons it was because of ya."
I frown. Why would this Whele think that? Why does D'ziko sound like he believes him? D'ziko knows I'm not the real Goddess. He knows.
"Me? Why?" I pause. "And who the hell is Whele?"
D'ziko slumps in his chair. "The werewolf."
I stiffen. The last time I was in Whele's cave, I stole his fur. Even if he didn't know who invaded his privacy, I'm sure he's now picked up my scent from D'ziko. He's not a fool. And I'm sure he doesn't see it as a coincidence that during the gatekeepers break which is three minutes, they all passed out. I stole my mother's izora pills. Like aesthetic Mama uses them to put her patience to sleep. Their effect lasts only twenty seconds. Is that why he's been following me around? Does he want to confront me? What if he's planning to kidnap Mama? What if he wasn't here for Mama like my friends and I thought? What if he was here for me?
D'ziko rests his elbows at his knees, his bloodless fists cushioning his jaw. "What have ya done?"
My hands are shaking like the wings of a hummingbird. His frankness throws me for a second.
I stare at my wallpaper, trying to memorise the weird pattern, but I can't find a single shape I recognise, just red worms, blue worms, black worms. They remind me of a snake mating ball.
"I drugged him with izora."
D'ziko's voice darkens. "So that's how ya touched my sword without suffering from third degree burns." This is a revelation.
"Yes."
He looks at me directly. The muscles at the side of his neck tighten. "That's not right."
The muscles at the back of my neck tighten. I hate lying to him. I know I should just tell the honest truth why I stole his sword but I can't.
"Please don't tell me how I wrong it was to drug them and I feel so guilty about that. But Mama was going to kill herself."
His frown is visible even behind his mask. "Why?"
"Papa left her," a split second of thought and I continue, "she's not coping without him."
D'ziko nods slowly. "Strange."
I watch him silently. He doesn't move. He doesn't even seem to know that I'm even with him. He's so deep in thought. I must break his riviera.