Chp 41

"Nothing strange about it." I stand. "Lots of our people kill themselves every year because they can't find the will to live without their significant others."
"Yes but that's different."
Suddenly I feel cold and hot at the same time. I lumber down the small passage between the wall and the bed. He buries his face in his hands.
"How?"
He raises his head. Once again the intensity of his eyes makes the skin at the back of my neck pucker.
"Yer parents aren't lifemates. Yer father, if they were lifemates, wouldn't have left her."
Immediate understanding. I grimace. "And so my mother wouldn't still be pinning over him sixteen years later."
Oh my Gods, why didn't I realise this sooner?
"How curious."
My brows deepen. Curious indeed.
Mama has been lying to me. She didn't try to kill herself because of Papa. And I'm going to find out why she wanted to risk my life like that. She knew that if she died I'd die as well.
Why did she lie? Why did she want to die? Why?
The answer hits me so hard a painful jab stabs my heart. What if mama didn't want to kill herself? What if she's not the intended kill but I am? If she dies, I die. She wouldn't have to kill me herself. Not with her own hands. And even if she died, she could still bring herself back to life. She could still live. But I'd be dead and she wouldn't be guilty of killing me.
D'ziko's iron grip on my shoulders pulls me out of my reverie.
"Stop." his grip tightens. "Stop. Ya're scaring me."
I shake my head, squinting at him. "Huh. Huh?"
"Ya're shaking so violently," he says, with a nervous once over. His eyes linger at my fists. I loosen them. "Ya look murderous."
I tell him my thoughts. What I think of mama, about her intentions.
D'ziko shakes his head. He looks uncertain. "But yer mother loves ya." his voice is pedantic.
It makes me cringe to hear D'ziko defending my mother. I lead two separate lives. On the one hand I'm Imani, Mama's only daughter, Noddons Goddess and on the other, I'm Steel, Kaseke's sister, D'ziko's life mate, Mondo's best friend. Hearing him say those five words feels like I've finally lost control, like my worlds are colliding, like a horrible train crash, I can't stop it. There'll be casualties. I shudder. Why am I so scared? This is childish. My fear is irrational. No one will ever find out about D'ziko. Not until I'm ready to tell them. Not until Noddon is ready to accept his leadership, his role on earth, his role in Africa.
My eyes blink fast. Not my liking. My hands and feet are cold. "I'm beginning to question that."
D'ziko's hands squeeze mine so tightly. No matter what, well get through it. Together. I nod.
His silence intimidates me into blabbering. "So why does Whele think I had something to do with the thief not being able to hypnotise ya?"
"He thinks yer gift might have something to do with it."
"But I haven't even claimed my sword yet."
"Ya forget ya're a life mate."
His words stop my heart.
I'm a life mate.
He's my life mate.
I'm his life mate.
We are life mates.
We, no longer I. I'm bound to him. I am his. He is mine. Does this mean I have to start making half God babies with him? Does he even want babies? Leza, no! No! No! Okay, Steel, breathe. There's no reason to panic. Smile. Act normal. What was he saying...? Oh ja.
"Ah, yes." I close my eyes. Breathe. Act normal. "Both their gifts tend to activate once one of them collects their sword.. Not as strong as when both have them but bits of the magic essence is there."
D'ziko kisses my neck. My chin. My nose. My forehead. Lips hovering over mine. I'm dizzy. I open my eyes. My gaze finds his. His eyes sparkle.
His voice is steady but the drum of his heart isn't. "Not just that, but the second one of the life mates turns sixteen both the magic in their veins activates. Not the magic of the sword but those genetic gifts all Noddon has, and the pull of the mate."
I can't disagree. A year ago I felt a weird sensation on my body. Like electricity but not the bad kind. Not the kind of electricity that can hurt ya. It was the kind that makes ya energetic. Makes ya alive. The kind that awakens the soul. The kind that gives off the illusion that ya're on top of the world.
Then something occurs to me. “Ya said...when ya speak of the Essence Thief, ya keep referring him to a woman.”
“That's because the person I chased into the lake was a woman.”
“But it was a man.”
“Imani.” He looks me in the eye. “I know what I saw. It was a woman.”
But I woke up to a man trying to steal my magic.
The conversation dies again. Even though this is the kind of silence that doesn't need to be filled with pointless banter. I need to hear his voice. I need him to transport my thoughts to a land far away. I need him to make sure I don't think of Mama. About babies.
I tear myself away. "Ya never told me what happened when the thief came in here."
"We confronted each other." He shrugs and looks away. No big deal. "She wasn't expecting me. She looked like she was more surprised that I was alive than the mere fact that I was here."
"So that means, this person knows we're life mates?"
D'ziko allows my words to hang, his thoughts seem far away. "Maybe. I don't know."
"But how?"
"The prophet saw this" --he waves a hand between the pair of us-- "before he died. He mentioned that a daughter of the hairy man would join the African Gods and lead our people."
I'm not good with history. But I 've heard that once or twice. To be honest, I heard it a million times. Noddon is rich with history. Rich with intrigue. Rich with heritage.
"Hairy man?" I ask, with a frown. "But Papa isn't that hairy" --my frown deepens-- " at least, nothing worse than the average man."
He laughs, stiff hands stretching the back of his throat. "Ja."
I allow silence to join us. D'ziko shifts, uncomfortable.
"What is it?" I ask.
He shallows. "It's silly actually."
"I could use a joke right now."
"I always thought that the ‘Hairy Man’ referred to Whele."
It hits me. The double meaning. What he's really trying to say. It's impossible. Mama just wouldn't. She'd never. I almost lose my cool.
My facial muscles twinge, desperate for a subject change. "Yeah. Now that's one hairy man."
D'ziko sees my worry and quickly says, "But he's not allowed to have kids. He's not even allowed to have a girlfriend."
The snow gripping my heart melts. Phew. I was worried there for a second.
I missed this part of history. "No girlfriend? Aibo. Why?"
"The gatekeepers have to be fair." He hesitates. "If they had kids of their own and spouses, they would save the lives of their families first. If war came to our people, each gatekeeper would protect only one persons. If the gatekeepers had spouses, they'd be distracted. They'd want to go home to their kids. Who would stand guard up in the skies? Smell humans from woods away? Sing those curious swimmers back to their own nations?"
True. All true. I didn't say it was fair.
"I can only imagine how hard it would be for the gatekeepers to stay in the woods, while missing out on their children's firsts."
"Ja," he says. "So that's that."