54

"Kaseke. Shh!" I quickly tug him to me. He's a mountain. Unmoving. "C'mon." I elbow him towards the door.
"Is that--"
I squirm. Kaseke is beyond disappointed. He looks at me as though I'm from another planet. I wish his eyes would return to D'ziko.
Why didn't I lock the door? I wish I'd been more careful. I stiffen my spine. Kaseke has no right to look at me this way. I'm allowed to have a few secrets. Most sisters don't share everything with their brothers. I don't owe him anything. I take a deep breath and tug at him again. This time he allows me to drag him past the threshold.
"Don't say it." I pause, trying to remember what words should follow next. "Keep yer damn voice down."
We're outside of my bedroom now. Kaseke is still dumb with confusion. I vaguely notice the guards closing the distance. They're dangerously close. Five more paces and they'll be able to see inside my room.
I turn to wave at D'ziko but then I run straight to his arms. I hold him to me. When we break apart I kiss his masked cheek and squeeze his hands. My heart trumps. Hmm, it won't do to lose track of things now. His worried glance is enough to kill of the family of butterflies in my stomach.
"Nothing will happen to ya," I say, contouring my face into a combination of determination and certainty. "I promise."
He smiles. "And him?" He gestures with his head to my brother.
"Don't worry--" I freeze, conscious of only my determination and Kaseke's gaze boring into the back of my head. "I'll bring ya something to eat in a bit."
Kaseke and I walk down the hall.
The world most awkward silence follows. I take a gulping breath and nod curtly to the guards we pass. They bow and stray their worried glances to the bloodless hand clutching mine. Vaguely, I'm aware of the pain, I'm aware my poor hand is about to break any minute now. But I'm clutching my brother harder than I ever imagined possible, and I can't stop or loosen my grip. As soon as we're in the elevator he lets go of my hand and we both frantically try to bring blood back into our hands.
"Steel," Kaseke says, cutting through my tirade. "I know what I saw."
I stop, caught off guard. "What?" I say. "I wasn't gonna deny it?"
He briefly meets my eyes but other than that my brother looks right through me, as though he's never spoken to me before, as though we are complete strangers. I offer him a small smile. His expression stays set, and my heart sinks into my stomach.
"Why didn't ya tell me sooner, then?"
They do say that honesty is the best policy and I decide to just do that. My brother deserves that much. He helped me steal the Bakantwa Sword. Kaseke can be trusted. I trust him. Lying to him would only cause me more problems and I have enough of those as is.
"I was afraid," I say, forcing myself not to give in to the urge to turn and run with my damn tail between my legs. My whole body tightens with nerves.
"Of me?" Kaseke asks shortly.
I don't know if there's any point in trying to explain to him, but I can't not say anything now. How do I even begin to explain? How do I explain it in a way that will make him understand?
"I--" I hesitate. "No. Look, Kaseke I'm sorry."
"How long have ya been seeing each other?" the edge in his voice makes me flinch.
"It's not like that," I say, my words coming out in a huge rush. "We, I, I can't explain it. But he's my lifemate." Just saying those words, acknowledging the truth out loud, letting someone else into the secret, makes this whole life mate thing real. It's like it was all theory before but now it's been proven the truth.
"That's not what I asked ya."
My eyes drop to the floor and when I finally find my voice, it wobbles treacherously. "Since that day in Sir Ayize's shop."
I take a huge breath.
There's a paralysing moment of silence.
"He killed the Goddess--" He begins, then suddenly stops as his mind comes to another conclusion. "He's the Essence Thief."
Aibo. Kaseke. No way.
"He's not," I say so fast I'm surprised my teeth don't draw blood when they connect with my tongue. "He's Leza and Thor's offspring."
"He's black, Imani." He looks at me in pity. "No mix there."
"And so is Thor."
"If ya'd told me earlier, I'd have pawed through his thoughts and dug the truth out."
"I trust him." I say, giving him a glare of undisguised loathing. "What makes ya think he's the Essence Thief?"
He laughs scornfully. "What if everything he's ever told ya is a lie?"
For a second, I actually consider it. I consider D'ziko as the Essence Thief. What if he can really wield the Bakantwa? What if he's just a better fraud than I am. He's wearing the mask not because he's really D'ziko but because he's hiding his identity? A fake chosen one? What if he stole other people's gifts long before the rest of Noddon came to know about it? What if by the time I got to Sword Universe to trade the swords, D'ziko had already beat me to it. What if he's a better blacksmith than I could ever be? What if he made his own replica of the sword that closer resembled the powers of the real Bakantwa? But I force myself to stand my ground. I've already accused too many of the people I care deeply for, this time I refuse any negative thoughts to swim in my head.
"Okay! Stop," I say. I don't know if I'm telling myself or Kaseke. Probably the former. "I trust him." But my voice isn't as convincing as it should be.
Kaseke shakes his head, lips curling. He opens his mouth and gives a few soundless gasps.
The elevator doors open on the third floor and a couple and their infant daughter get in. The baby smiles at me, looking at me more closely. She says something. Her parents coo. I don't understand baby talk. But despite myself, I smile. I can't help it. Her pink pink cheeks are chubby and demand I pinch them. And I do. The baby giggles herself silly.
"Can I hold her?" I ask.
The mother nods, smiling. "Yes, Goddess Imani."
She hands me the girl and I ignore Kaseke's worried look. It's the what-the-hell-Steel look mixed with Steel-is-going-insane-take-yer-kid-back-lady look.
The baby, pulls at my hair.
"Kaseke," I say. "Why'd ya come to my room anyway?"
"I wanted to escort ya. I've told ya already." His voice tells me how unlikely this scenario is.
"Aibo, Kaseke."
He stares at me. "ya look a bit shell-shocked." He untangles the babies fingers from my hair. "I'm serious. I only wanted to escort ya." His voice is so serious that I almost believe him for a second before a thought occurs to me, and I burst into unwilling laughter.
I push my hair out of my face. "Oh, C'mon just admit ya missed me." I can't keep the astonishment out of my voice.
Kaseke makes a face at me, but he grins, a little embarrassed but undaunted. "Stop it."
I try to give the baby back to the mother but the father takes her. He smiles and nods at me as the baby fusses, trying to crawl out of its fathers arms and back to mine.
"I miss ya too." I smile at Kaseke and this time I don't have to work so hard at it. "I'm not embarrassed to admit that."
He takes my hand again and we rush to the dining hall. I take my usual seat, near Mama and Papa with Kaseke sitting across me. I can't keep the smile off my face as I think about D'ziko. My heart pounds.
I grab a piece of homemade bread and I'm about to take a bite when Stone comes rushing in, elbowing people out of the way in his attempt to get to me. His eyes are wide in terror. He grabs the back of my chair to stay upright and gasps, "Heading towards the Royal palace...the Black Shuck is coming...and it's eyes are yellow."