68

It goes like that for a while. There are hundreds of pictures – Mam’lambo in the meadow, K’Nyamba sitting under a tree reading a book, Mama smiling with Whele sitting next to her on the bench – that is my personal favourite. My gaze lingers on it. D'ziko notices.
“This was a couple of years ago.”
“What are ya trying to tell me?” I ask, turning to look at him. “Is he my mother's life-mate?”
“Go talk to him,” D’ziko suggests. “He's waiting.”
I don't want to.
What do I say to him? Do I give him my blessing to date my mother? Do they now expect me to change the rules just for them? Do I now go back and say gatekeepers can now date and start families? What about my father? What about our family? Won't Mama forget about us once she bares Whele’s kids? Kids with a man she loves, a man that loves her back.
“Who’s this?” I ask pointing to a sepia picture. The girl is so beautiful, her curly hair framing her face perfectly. She looks familiar, someone I see everyday.
“Beautiful, isn’t she?” he asks, staring at the picture with so much love my heart twists in envy.
So there's someone else.
I can't find my voice. My world is spinning. There's someone else. And she's so pretty.
“I can’t seem to get the eyes quite right.” His face sags up in frustration. “ya can never capture such beauty, such perfection in a piece of paper.”
“Oh.”
No one has a right to be so beautiful; her full lips are twisted up in half a smile as her black eyes stare longingly at something in front of her.
“This is ya, at sword universe.”
I shake my head. This can't be me. I don't look at him like that, do I?
“ya’d only looked up at me for a brief second,” I complain. “And yet ya got every single detail right.”
“After that second there was nothing else worth my attention.” He breathes. “I couldn’t concentrate on anything else for the rest of the day, I had to see ya again. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye – even momentarily.”
I throw my arms around him with enough force to knock him over. For a second his breath stops.
His arms wound around me. My grip tightens. How can fate be so cruel?
“Imani, don't cry.”
“I won't. I'm not.” I whisper, my voice cracking at the edges.
“ya’re the one thing that matters to me now, the only thing that matters to me ever.” He gulps. “Promise me tomorrow.”
“I promise ya forever.”
Suddenly I remember his family is in the room with us. I back away from him to see them staring at us, their faces unreadable. Whele is definitely not impressed.
What's his problem?
“Thank ya,” Mam’lambo says, coming to stand in front of me. “ya don’t know how very long I’ve waited to see that look on my D’ziko’s face. To look into his eyes and see the reflection of someone else.” She kisses my forehead and nods and carefully places her hand on his cheek. So many words are spoken in that simple gesture.
“There's a reason y’all wanted me to be the Goddess,” I say, my voice croaks. “What is it?”
They all look at Whele. He has to be the one to tell me.
He hesitates. “For yer mother. She was unhappy without...without yer father.”
“ya're lying to me,” I say.“Mama doesn't want papa. She wants ya. It’s always been ya.”
“D’ziko, breakfast is served,” Mam’lambo calls as she passes.
We troop to the kitchen in silence.
Whele hesitates, again. He remains standing, watching us take our seats around the small round table. “I ...we did it for ya?”
I raise my eyebrows. “For me? Why?”
He picks at his food, avoiding eye contact with me. “My lifemate’s child.”
He looks me in the eye, and when he speaks his voice is confessional. “I love ya.”
“Ya're lying,” I say with a quivering voice, daring to believe him. “Ya just want to be with my mother.”
“I've always been with yer mother,” he says with a sigh, his voice strained, running fingers through his hair.
“So Papa was right?” I ask, picking at my food. I've just lost my appetite. “Mama cheated.”
“It's not that simple,” he says, evasively.
I finally push my plate away, shaking in anger. “I think it is. It's either ya were with her while she was still dating Papa or not.”
“I was, ja,” he whispers, an odd note in his voice.
I glare at him. “That's just so disgusting.”
“I'm sorry ya feel that way,” he says, finishing the last of the food on his plate and carrying it to the sink.
“ya--” I start to shout, but he's already gone. I scream my frustration.
Everyone else disappears and soon it is just D'ziko and I.
I raise my eyebrow questioningly.
“They’re giving us some privacy.”
“Oh.”
“Ain't ja gonna finish that?” he asks, pointing to my plate, when I shake my head he takes it to the sink.
I follow him and stand with my back against the aisle. He squeezes too much dish soap into the sink.
“I don't know whether I should be angry, or hurt. I blink towards my feet to hide my tears. I don't wanna cry, dammit.
The length of him flattens against mine. I hang my arms over his shoulders and pull him toward me. He takes a ragged breath.
“I want ya to be happy.” His fingers are under my chin, tipping my head up to meet his gaze. “ya’re the only thing that makes me happy. yer happiness. My happiness.”
“Do ya know how much I need ya?”
“No, how much,” he breathes, his face is so close to mine we're breathing the same air. “Show me.”
“This much,” I say stretching my arms out. “And just pretend I’m some mythical creature with an ability to elongate my arms indefinitely.”
He gives me a fleeting, fierce gaze.
Heat prickles inside me, in my chest, and in my stomach and in my toes.
“I enjoy yer company way too much.” His eyes travel down my body, lingering on my lips. He shakes his head, backing away.
Why can't he just do it. I want him to do it.
I hear my heartbeat in my ears, feel it in the tips of my fingers.
“I enjoy yer company too.”
“So…” He stares at me, hungry, but not for the food we just ate. “Do ya want a tour?”

“This is the dining room,” D'ziko is saying as I stare wowed. The north wall is a glass and it opens to a small garden.
“ya grow yer own vegetable.”
“Ah, yes…” he sighs, his gaze following mine to stare out of the window. “Whele is very involved in charity.”
“Oh?” I am intrigued. But what I really want to say is: he's a freakin werewolf for fucksake.
“When he has decent food for human consumption, he usually cooks for the homeless and sometimes donates food parcels to charity homes.”
Wow. I don’t know if I’m shocked because I didn’t expect a werewolf to do these things and it doesn’t seem realistic, or if this behaviour makes him more unique. More human.
“He’s an amazing man.” I voice my thoughts. Only if he wasn't trying to tear our family apart.
I'm not the fence on this. I hate Papa for leaving but now that he's back I'd like a chance for us to try this family thing out but at the same time I want Mama to be happy. Whele would make her happy. And what was up with Papa and Onele?
I'm selfish.
“I know.” He places his hand on my back and guides me around the house.
“This house is huge,” I say, flicking a kick from my eyes. “Why does he choose to stay in the cave in the woods? Why'd he make ya stay there?”
“If or rather when King Father finds out Whele’s been here...that he left his spot for a cozy breakfast.” D’ziko shakes his head in dread.
We get into the lift and he presses a button.
“Then why did he give them these houses?”
“To make it seem like he cares about them, about their health.”
He doesn't
The lift opens into a spacious incredible lounge, in the south wing a dark black leather couch sets facing the largest TV I’ve ever seen outside a cinema. They even have a wine collection.
“I don’t understand why ya have so much wine,” I probe. “ya don’t even drink.”
“This is all for show, I guess. King Father built them these nice houses they aren’t allowed to use unless it’s for special occasions.”
What special occasion? These people don’t have children for birthday celebrations, nor spouses for anniversaries. “Right.”
“Whele has two bottles that are a century old.”
“I know a few people that would kill for one of those bottles.” Kaseke is one of them.
We walk up two flight of stairs and into his enormous bedroom.
“I thought ya said ya've only ever slept in the woods .”
“Oh.” He frowns, staring uninterested at the bed. “I’ve never used it before. This is actually the second time Whele and I are here. We slept in the wild.”
He leads me back to the ground floor but I stop dead in my tracks. He smiles up at me.
“Why are ya looking at me like that?” I ask him, laughing nervously.