Chapter Thirty-Eight - This isn't working for us

Brandon

It has only been a few weeks, and this long-distance thing is not working for us. We barely have a chance to talk, and when we do, we end up arguing over the stupidest things. It is horrible, and I hate it. I think it is because we miss each other. We are feeling too many emotions at once and don’t know where to put them.

My plan to go see her next weekend has fallen through. I need to go to a damn conference which I can’t get out to. I asked her to come to me, but she couldn’t do it either.

If it keeps going like this, I don’t know if we will make it. I hate having these thoughts, but how can we be in a relationship when we go weeks without seeing each other, days without talking? We knew it would be hard, but I don’t believe either of us expected it to be this hard.

I haven’t spoken to her on the phone or video in five days! Yes, we have texted here and there, but nowhere close to what we should be. I miss her crazy, and I don’t want to fight with her. Life shouldn’t be this difficult when you are with the person you love.

I would try to call her later after work. I am in my office, staring at the computer screen, which I have been doing for the last god knows how long. I can’t get my business head on or concentrate on anything, really.

A knock on my office door distracts me.

“Come in,” I call out.

My office door opens, and Kelsey strolls into my office.

“Hey, I just wanted to remind you we have a meeting soon.” She says.

“We do?” I ask, confused.

“Yes, in half an hour. Are you okay, Brandon?”

I am not sure how much Skyla tells Kelsey about our fights since I am her boss.

“No, not really. Have you spoken to Skyla? I mean, had a conversation, not over text?”

Kelsey comes over and sits on the chair at the other side of my desk.

“Yes, I spoke to her last night. It was only for a couple of minutes. Haven’t you talked to her?” she asks, sounding concerned.

I guess Skyla hasn’t told her much.

“We have texted, but we haven’t had a conversation in about five days.”

“Really? Why?”

“Honestly, the last few times we have had a conversation, we have ended up arguing over silly things. I am struggling to keep us afloat; Kelsey and I don’t know what to do.” I sigh and run my fingers through my hair.

“She mentioned the distance thing is hard, but I didn’t realise things were so tough between you. The two of you will work it out. I am certain of it. Once the book launch and the conferences you need to attend are done, you can see each other and fix it.” she says confidently.

“I hope so. I don’t want to fight with her. I don’t want to be apart from her. It is like torture. I worry we won’t make it, and the thought is enough to kill me. I don’t know what to do.” I whimper.

My heart breaks a little more with the longer we are apart, with the more we fight. It is a horrible feeling, and I don’t know how much I can do it.

“Then go and see her, Brandon. I can go to the conference for you. We can pretend you are sick.” She suggests.

“As much as I would love that, I don’t think it will be possible because they don’t take well for us higher-ups being sick, and Skyla has a busy weekend, too,” I reply sadly.

“Not all weekend. She has a dinner on Friday. Free Saturday and only has a short meeting on Sunday. I know it may not be much time, but surely it is better than nothing?” she asks.

“I would be happy if I could be with her for only a couple of hours.”

“Then go and be with her. I can deal with the conference. It won’t be my first rodeo. I can take Sarah with me.” she smiles.

“Really, you would do that?”

I know she hates conferences.

“Yes, if it means you can go be with my best friend, and the two of you can have a chance to talk. Think about it, okay? For now, we need to prepare for the meeting.” She says.

“I will think about it. If I do, don’t tell her I am coming. I want it to be a surprise.”

“Your secret will be safe with me. Promise.” She laughs and places her hand over her heart.

“Thank you. Now, let’s get this prep done and get to the room before everyone else.”

I am usually organised before now, but my mind has been too unfocused. Kelsey nods, and we get to work.

****
It has been a crazy day, but I am finally home with a scotch. I decided to let Kelsey take my place next weekend. I have a flight booked to Scotland for next Thursday. I may fall behind in a few things, but I don’t care because I need to see my girl before I lose her.

It may only be a couple of days, but I will take what I can. I just hope she doesn’t have any other plans. By the time I get back to Scotland, it would have been over a month since we last saw each other. I need to be able to hold her, kiss her, talk to her in person and make love to her. I miss her skin on mine, her scent and the way her eyes light up every time she laughs.

I have been miserable the last month, and I know the only thing that will make me feel better is being with her. I sigh and drink my scotch. I open a text to Skyla. She will probably be asleep, but I want her to know I am thinking about her.

Hello, sweetheart. I know you are probably asleep, but I wanted to let you know I am thinking about you. You never said goodnight. I miss you, and I don’t want to fight any more. Can we please have a video call tomorrow? I love you xx

She usually texts me goodnight, but not tonight. Maybe she was too exhausted and forgot. I hope that is all it is. I know she will be in bed because it will be two in the morning there. Hopefully, she will text me with a good morning text.

I rest back on the sofa and run my fingers through my hair, sighing. It is getting too much, and I will do whatever it takes to make everything okay. Skyla is the love of my life. The one for me who I want to spend the rest of my life, marry and have a family. I can’t lose her and everything we have.

If it comes to it, I will pack up in my entire life and move to Scotland.