Chapter Forty-Four - I deserve it.

Brandon

I am in my office, trying to busy myself with work. I don’t know what else to do with myself. I haven’t spoken with Skyla in three days. It isn’t for the lack of trying. She is ignoring me, and I don’t blame her after my cancelling on her for her book launch at the last minute. It isn’t like I wanted to. I had no choice. I expected her to be mad, but I thought she would understand. I guess she is tired of understanding.

I get lost in my head until my office door barges open, and Kelsey storms in. She closes it behind her before coming over to my desk. I can tell she is angry.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to lose her? How could you cancel on her like that, you know how damn important it is. And don’t you dare use the excuse of work because you could have rescheduled, but instead, you chose to act like an unsupportive jackass.” She snarls.

“I didn’t have a choice, Kelsey,” I reply.

“You always have a damn choice. You made the wrong one.” She snaps.

If this were anyone else yelling at me, I would fire them immediately. Kelsey isn’t anyone, though, and I know she is protecting her best friend.

“I told her I was sorry. I will make it up to her.” I sigh.

“Sorry means fuck all! You promised her, Brandon. I know things have been hard between you both with the long-distance thing, but I never thought you would do this to her. I can’t blame her for thinking you are seeing someone else.”

“Wait, what? Is that what she thinks? I am cheating on her? I would never.” I whimper.

“Yes, and I would probably be the same if I was here. You promised me you would take care of her and not hurt her, Brandon. If I knew you would end up breaking her damn heart, I would have kept her away from you. She has been through too much in her life, and then you do this to her.” She hisses, her cheeks red and anger flashing in her eyes.

“I know what she has been through. I didn’t mean to hurt her; you need to believe me.” I plead.

“I don’t believe a damn thing you say now. I don’t think you even realise how much you have hurt her, Brandon. She never asks you for anything, and the one time she does, you let her down.”

“Come on, that is a little harsh, Kelsey. I am not a bad guy. Stop making me out to be one. Of course, I understand how much I hurt her, but as I said, I don’t have much of a damn choice.”

I raise my voice without meaning, too. I am not angry with Kelsey. I am angry with myself.

“It is exactly what you are acting like. I am going to Scotland today. I will be back when I am back. My best friend needs me.” She says.

“You can’t just leave without notice.”

“Watch me. What are you going to do, fire me?” she asks.

“No, I am not going to fire you, but you have work to finish.”

“I don’t care. I am going to fix what you broke. Deal with it.” She barks and heads for the door.

“Kelsey, I am sorry. Please tell Skyla to call me.” I beg.

She stops and turns to face me, “No. She will call you when she is ready. If she ever is ready. I hope business is worth it, Brandon, because it may just be the thing you lose Skyla, too. She can’t take any more. You need to decide what is more important because if you don’t, you will no longer have her because she will be done with you.”

“What does that mean? Is she going to break up with me?” I ask, panicked.

Kelsey doesn’t answer me with words. She gave me a disapproving look and left my office. Is that why Skyla isn’t talking to me? She doesn’t want to be with me anymore. Surely not? I get she is mad at me, and rightly so, but to end things over it, wouldn’t that be a step too far? Then again, things exactly haven’t been great between us, even before I cancelled.

I feel the tears brim in my eyes at the thought of losing her. I can’t! I need her. I love Skyla, and she is my entire world, even if it hasn’t seemed like it these last few months. No, I refuse to let us be over! I am not letting her go.

Fuck! I pull at my hair in frustration. I swipe my cell up to try and call Skyla. It rings out the first time. The second time, she rejected my call. She either isn’t ready to talk to me yet, or she has decided to be done with me.

I opened a text to her.

Angel, please talk to me. I am sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to. I love you, please don’t forget that xxx

I won’t mention Kelsey barging into my office because I am sure Skyla probably told her not, and I don’t want to cause an argument between them because of me. I stare at my screen. The text comes up as read and the little dots flash on my screen to tell me she is texting back. It gives me a little hope, but then they stop, and she doesn’t reply after all.

I can’t leave things like this. I need to change things and quickly if I want us to make it. I don’t know how I am going to get out of this business meeting, or even if it is possible, but I am going to try my damn hardest to make it happen. I should be there for her. I should be her plus one at her book launch, no matter what. And if I am not, then maybe I deserve to be left behind. If I can’t, she is probably better off without me because you are supposed to do whatever you can to make the person you are with feel loved and appreciated. Recently, I haven’t been doing any of those things. It isn’t me. I am a good man. I am a good boyfriend. I shouldn’t be acting like a fucking asshole! Skyla deserves the world, and I promised I would give it to her. I can’t break another promise to her.