Chapter Thirty-Nine - We just need to keep pushing through

Skyla

I have been so miserable recently. Faking a smile isn't easy when I don't want to smile. I am so ready for my book to be released. I love writing, but everything that has to be done before release is too much. I don't have a damn life. I can't see my boyfriend or best friend. I am grateful for everything I have, for my readers and for the life I have because of my books, but none of that takes the loneliness away. It doesn't help Brandon and I had yet another argument yesterday. It is getting too much, and I hate it. We don't fight, but it is all we have been doing recently. I just hope it doesn't mean we are heading towards the ending of it.

I have a busy couple of weeks ahead, and finally, my book launch. I desperately need a break, but I can't have one, not anytime soon.

Thankfully, today, I have a little time to myself before dinner tonight. It is with the company who are helping with my party, to go through some details and see if I want anything changed. I will be happy with whatever. I don't want some big fancy party. I can't deal with a situation like that. I would rather it be a group of the publishing company, my readers and close family and friends, but there will be over two hundred people there, twenty of whom will be readers specially chosen to join the event. I will probably only know about fifty of the people; everyone else will be strangers.

I can't think of it too much right now, or I will start to freak out.

I don't plan on leaving the house today until dinner. I have showered and not relaxing on the sofa in my pjs and breakfast, reading and listening to music. I needed to take the time to clear my mind and try to relax.

I always enjoy getting lost in the book world. Everything is much simpler there. I set it down, only to take a drink of my coffee. When I go to pick it back up, I am distracted by a knock at my front door.

I sit there, confused because I am not expecting one. Maybe it is my agent or someone dropping something off for tonight. I sigh and hesitantly pull my ass from the sofa. A part of me wanted to ignore it and pretend like I was not home, but I am not that rude.

I don't even check who it is before I unlock the door. I swing it open and gasp when I see who is standing outside my door.

"Oh my God, Brandon." I squeal, and before I can stop myself, I jump on him.

He drops his bag and grabs me just in time before I fall on my ass. I don't even allow him a chance to speak because I crash my lips to his. He chuckles into the kiss before smiling. I part my lips from his after a moment.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, trying my best not to cry.

"I missed you, angel. I needed to see you, and I don't want to fight with you anymore." He replies and rests his forehead to mine.

"I missed you too. No, I don't want to either." I sigh.

He uses one arm to keep me upright and uses the other to dip down for his bag. He carries us into my apartment and kicks the door behind him.

"It is so good to see you, sweetheart." He gushes and kisses all over my face.

"You too, my love." I giggle.
He was supposed to have some sort of conference all of this weekend.

Brandon finally set me back down on my feet. I grab his arm and sit down on the sofa, pulling him next to me.

"I thought you had to be away this weekend?"

"I am supposed to be, but Kelsey is taking my place. We told them I was not well so I could come here and surprise you. I know you have a few things on this weekend, but I wanted to see you, so we lied." He chuckles.

"Oh, naughty. Yes, I do have a few things on. I have a dinner to attend tonight, but you can come with me if you like?" I ask.

"I don't want to be in the way, especially if it's a business meeting."

"You won't be in the way. You are coming. End of discussion," I state firmly and bop his nose, "You flew all the way here to see me, Brandon; I am not leaving you here alone. It would be unfair. We have had enough time apart."

"Yes, ma'am." He smiles.

I place my hand over his, linking our fingers and lean in to kiss him softly.

"How long are you here?" I ask.

"I fly back on Sunday night."

"Okay, well, I am not letting you out of my sight in all the time you are. Prepare for a clingy, needy girlfriend all weekend." I grin.

Brandon wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side and kisses the top of my head, "I don't mind. At all. You can be as clingy and needy as you want, angel. I don't plan on letting you go either." He adds and hugs me tightly.

"Yay." I snicker and climb into his lap to straddle his hips.

"You are happy I am here? I wasn't sure if you would be after what happened when we last talked." He says softly and strokes my face.

"I will always be happy to see you, Brandon, no matter what. No matter if we are fighting." I whisper and bury my face in his neck.

He slips his arms around me and hugs me tightly to his chest.

"I am sorry we have been fighting recently. I love you." He whispers and strokes my hair.

"I am sorry too, but I really think it is because we miss each other too much. Too many emotions all at once, and we take it out in each other. I love you too." I reply and peck his neck.

"Yes, I think you are right. We really need to find a better way to channel those emotions and feelings."

"I agree. What, I don't know. We need to do whatever it takes to get us through the next few months, Brandon, until we can be together without issue. I don't want to lose you, and I am terrified if we keep fighting, it is what will happen." I whimper.

Brandon hugs me tighter, "I promise we will make it through, Skyla, no matter what. Whatever it takes."

I can hear the sadness in his voice.

"Whatever it takes," I repeat.

I really hope we make it through. The next few months will be a huge challenge for us, but I pray we are strong enough to make it! I need to tell myself that because I don't want to lose him. I wouldn't ever be the same again without him. I don't believe I would allow myself to fall in love. It can't come to that, though. I refuse to let it come to that.

"You and me against the world, sweetheart." He whispers and kisses the top of my head.

"Us against the world," I whisper.

Words I hope that stays true for us.