Chapter Forty-One - We need to do better

Skyla

I have been trying my best to keep it together all day because Brandon leaves tomorrow, and I can’t handle saying goodbye to him again. I worry every time we say goodbye; it will be the last time since our long distance hasn’t been working. I don’t want to break down in front of him because it will make him feel like crap, and I don’t want that to happen.

I might have sneaked away once or twice to cry in the bathroom without him knowing. My emotions are all over the place right now because my period is due, which isn’t helping matters. I have no idea when I will see him again once he leaves. My schedule is so full right now, and I have no idea when I can take a couple of days to fly over to see not only Brandon but Kelsey too.

I had just been in the bathroom again, having a little cry. I return to my room where I left Brandon. We haven’t moved out of bed since I came back from my meeting this morning. I crawl back in next to him and cuddle up. Brandon wraps me tightly in his arms and holds me closer.

“I am sorry you are upset, my love, even if you are trying to hide it from me,” he says softly and kisses the top of my head.

“You picked up on that?” I ask and glance up at him.

“Of course I did, sweetheart.”

“I didn’t want to make you sad, so I hid it,” I reply honestly.

He sighs and leans down to stroke my face, “I am sad too. I don’t want to leave. I wish I could just stay here with you and leave everything behind.”

“I wish that too, or I could come back with you permanently.”

I can feel the tears build in my eyes, but try to fight them. It doesn’t work because I soon feel them run down my cheeks. Brandon is quick to kiss them away.

“Please, don’t cry, my love.” He replies with a shaky voice.

He is trying to keep his emotions intact. I close my eyes and try to stop any more from falling. I would rather not spend the remainder of our time crying.

“Sorry, I will stop now.” I laugh and kiss him softly.

Well, I will try and stop anyway. He smiles into my lips. Once we part, he rolls onto his back and takes me with him so I am lying on his chest. He brings the covers over us and strokes the small of my back. I close my eyes and bury my face in his neck.

Brandon sighs and hugs me tightly, “I love you, angel.”

I peck his neck, “I love you too.”

Brandon kisses the top of my head, “I will miss you.”

“I will miss you too. We need to stop fighting when we are apart.” I sigh.

“I know we do. We will try our best not to.” He whispers.

I really hope we can manage because all it will take is one big argument for everything to be over with. The idea is enough to break my heart. I shake it off, not wanting to think about it. I just need to keep telling myself we will be okay. We will make it and come up with a plan which works for us.
“Yes, because I hate fighting with you. It hurts.”

“I hate it too. I hate the idea of me being the reason for your tears. It makes me feel like a complete asshole.”

I can hear the disappointment in his voice when he speaks. I lift my head to look at him. I notice the sadness in his eyes. I caress his cheek with my thumb.

“We just need to do better.”

I am not letting him take the blame because we are as bad as each other for making the other upset. It shouldn’t be that. It was never that way until we started the long-distance thing.

“Yes, we do.” He agrees and presses a gentle kiss to my lips.

We part only after a moment, and I cuddle back into him. I felt myself begin to drift off because of how warm and comfortable I was, but I forced myself awake. I don’t want to sleep.

“Are you tired?” Brandon asks.

“A little, but I don’t want to fall asleep. We should probably get out of bed and do something before I do.”

“We could take a quick nap. I am tired too, and after, we can maybe go out for lunch and have a date tonight, too?” he suggests.

“Okay, but we need to set an alarm. I don’t want us sleeping for like three hours. That is how our naps usually go.” I snicker.

Brandon laughs, “Good idea. We can set it for an hour from now.”

We are terrible for taking long-ass naps, then we can’t sleep at night. We are just so comfortable with one another; it can’t be helped. I don’t want to waste hours of our last full day together sleeping, no matter how good it feels doing it in his arms.

I reach for my phone and set the alarm for two. I move to lie next to him, but he traps me with his legs and arms, locking me against his body.

“No, stay here.” He protests.

“It won’t be comfortable for you.”

“Yes, it will. Now, stay.” He demands.

I playfully roll my eyes but do as I am told, which makes him smile brightly at me. We settled down for our nap, but as we know, it makes me remember tomorrow, I will be back to sleeping alone. I have been sleeping terribly without him next to me. I have never needed someone in the way I need him. It is a strange feeling.

“Rest, beautiful.” He whispers, probably sensing I am getting lost in my head with my body language.

“Okay,” I whisper.

“Everything will be fine. I promise. I love you.”

“I hope so. I love you too.” I reply.

It doesn’t take him long to fall asleep. Me however, I spend my time lost in my thoughts. I take a couple of deep breaths, taking in his scent and allowing the rhythm of his heart to calm me, and eventually, it seems to work because I finally start to drift off. I dread tomorrow, but today, I will make the most of my time with Brandon before he leaves again. Fuck my life! Typical of me to fall in love with someone who lives thousands of miles away from me.