CHAPTER 19

SHAKEERA's POV
The pain, the pain I felt, too much pain to see my sister like that. I do not want to lie to her but it is necessary. I need to, I need to be strong in front of her. In her eyes. She was a smart kid. I knew she didn't believe what I said, but she had to believe it.
I went home first to get her things. And my things to use too. Still, my tears flowed while I was inside the taxi. I really can't stop them from falling. The driver also glanced at me. Because of my sobbing accent.
My chest really hurts. It was too heavy, hard to breathe, It was about to explode.
"Shakeera how is Shaina? Why are you crying hija? Did something happen to her?" Our neighbor greeted me. When I got out of the taxi, I sobbed even more at her question, so she hugged me and caressed my back.
"Aunt, my sister needs to be operated on as soon as possible. She has a swollen vein in her heart. The doctor said she needs to undergo surgery immediately while it is still early. My sister. And I will need a large amount, where can I get that amount." I still sobbed at her.
"You can do that hija, let me talk to our captain here. We will ask for help, and these neighbors of ours I will tell them to contribute at least a little amount. To somehow reduce it. So don't cry hija ok. Let's pray for the good of your sister. You can do that, you can and we can do it okay?" She told me while comforting me.
Somehow I felt a little relieved. It's just nice to feel that someone cares about you. Will make ways to help you even in small amounts. Very touching. 
"Thank you very much aunt, I will look upon it with great gratitude.I won't forget it aunt. I will cherish your help. Thank you." I hugged her tightly.
"You already know here with us hija, even though we are all poor here. But when someone needs one of us we really work together. Contribute. We are neighbors so we just work together, helping each other." I just nodded at what aunt said was right because in times of crisis we reach out even for a small amount. Small amount but it's already a big help when it combines.
"Anyways aunt, I need to prepare the things I will take to the hospital." I say goodbye to our neighbour.
"All right, Hija, I won't bother you anymore, but as long as tomorrow when we have accumulated something, I will just take you to the hospital tomorrow." She told me.
"Thank you very much aunt." I told her and I went inside our house. But I was suddenly taken aback when I turned around and there the taxi I rode was still waiting for me.
I slapped my forehead. I haven't been able to give my fare yet because I didn't have any money before I forgot to bring my wallet. Embarrassing, but maybe the driver understood me.
I immediately went inside and took some money. 
"Uncle here's my payment, please forgive me if I took too long. Thank you again for waiting." I told the driver once I handed him the money. 
I have added a bit too.
While I was arranging our things, I couldn't help but shed tears again. When I remember my sister's condition again.
I accidentally dug into the pocket of my shorts. I held a small card. And I looked at it again. Before putting it in my wallet. I remember what the gay man said.
I RETURNED to the hospital after packing our luggage. As well as the fried chicken I bought. She was asleep when I arrived, I immediately laid our belongings on the side and kissed her on the cheek.
"Ate, your back." Smiling, she said to me.
"Yes Ina I just arrived too, I'm sorry I woke you up." I said, trying to raise my voice. Because it's like crouching again.
"It's okay Ate, I didn't sleep just resting. My chest is a bit tight again." It was as if my heart was being squeezed again by what she said. I feel she is weakening. And this again, I refrain from crying in front of her. I hold back warmly so I can control my emotions.
"Oh! Maybe you're hungry and you're just thinking about it. The fried chicken I bought so you felt that way. Maybe you thought I had eaten it all and never left you even a single piece." I told her, trying to raise my voice and laugh a little.
"Ate..." She laughed at what I said. So I brought out our food. Since it was a bucket, I also gave the rest of us in the rooms. And then happy to have our late dinner.
"Ate thank you, I love you so much." I looked at her. We already finished eating and I also cleaned. I just smiled at her and nodded. But I was shocked by what she said later on.
"Ate, I know I'm not ok. And I know my condition is not good. Because the doctor won't tell me to stay here if I'm ok. Ate, I know you just don't want to tell me what the doctor told you, because You don't want me to worry. But I also need to know what my condition really is, so that I can also be aware of my condition. You don't need to be alone to feel the pain and that's because of me. Ate, I know because when you just entered Your eyes have been swollen before. I know you cried, and I also know that it's not just a simple crying. You are my sister and I know you very well. You always think of my welfare. You always put me first. You did not get engaged because of me. Ate, I am thankful because you are my sister. So tell me please? " She cried as she told me.
So my uncontrollable emotions suddenly exploded, making me cry. Because of what my sister said. I thought I convinced her of what I said but was wrong. And I was right because she's a smart one.
I grabbed her hand and locked it in my palms.
"I'm so sorry Ina, I just don't want to add to the pain you feel. If it can just be transferred to me I will accept. Just not you. Ate loves you very much."
It was as if my heart was broken again. My tears kept flowing.
"Just this is what you always remember ha, that you will recover and-" 
"What did the doctor really say Ate?" She cut me off from talking. The tears were still dripping but she was obviously holding them back.
"Ina, the doctor said you need to have surgery as soon as possible. Because there is a swollen vein in your heart. Because if it is not treated immediately it will be more dangerous for you." She was stunned by what I said, and suddenly burst into tears.
So I hugged her tightly.
"Don't worry, okay? You will recover, Ate will make a way huh? You will be okay. Ate will not leave you. Ate loves you very much. Ate will do everything for you. So you, just fight ha, fight. You can do that, so Ate too. We can do this, okay? " I touched both of her cheeks, and I smiled at her.
"As long as I make a way for even the one that crossed the wire I would do it. Or the one who stepped on the burning fire, I will. Just for you to be cured. So don't think too much, ok?" SHe smiled at what I said.
"Ate your funny, crossing the wire? Passing by at the hanging bridge you can't, you were scared a lot, you're going to pee. You were afraid of heights, how much more on the wire, you're so funny Ate." I also laughed at what she said. And she was laughing too.
"Ah, as long as I cross the wire even now in front of you I will." Smiling, I said.
"All right, do it." She challenged me. It's funny.
"Yeah, you just don't want to believe I can really." As said,
"Oh really?" Smiling, she said. 
"Wait a minute I'll show you for you to believe." My eyes immediately turned to look for wire. I saw one tied to the foot of the bed. So I took it straight and laid it on the floor.
She was still staring at me, frowning. And I motioned for her to look at me. 
I immediately stepped on the wire that landed on the floor that was still tilted.
She burst out laughing at what I did. 
"You really crazy Ate." She laughed at me.
"Can't I? You just don't want to believe your Ate." I told her with a smile. 
"Yes you can, how you wouldn't that your wire laid on the floor, of course it's easy, Ate. And I can do it too" She was still laughing.
"Why did I say that like in the circus? Not right? I said just cross." I still did not lose my smile. Even the others with us inside  the room laughed as well too.
"Don't tell me, Ate, even stepping on the  fire-" 
"A fire toy, but I don't have it now so I can not show you." I smiled at what she said. And She laughed too much at what I said to her too.
I'm happy because somehow I made her laugh. So I made my decision.