Chapter 15.

**Narrator’s POV.**

Alex had woken up with a terrible hang over and full knowledge of what he had done the night before, just mere thinking of it made his already pounding head seem like nothing- it was minor compared to how he knew Tessa would feel if she found out about what he had done. He had done exactly what she had begged him not to do- what his brother had predicted he would do before hand.

What the fuck was wrong with him? Why was he so twisted and problematic? Why did he have a problem when it came to hot girls?

He could only hope and pray that Tessa would never find out about what he had done, if not, he knew he would lose the one thing he cared about and he was not ready to show her that everything his brother had said about him was in fact true.

He could not even start to reason why he had done what he had done, he had no excuse other than him being drunk and wanting some female company that he hadn’t had in nearly a month. He was a man with needs- daily needs and he was not getting what he needed from the girl he actually desired.

Thinking this way eased out his guilt, why was he feeling guilty? This was all Tessa’s fault, if she was not such a prude, he wouldn’t have cheated on her because she would give him all he wanted and craved.

With his new found confidence, he strolled to the bathroom and took some hand over medicine from his cabinet. If Tessa found out, which she wouldn’t, she would have to forgive him, after all, she liked him a lot- maybe even more than he did to her. He was Alex O’Connell, any girl would be crazy to breakup with him- most weren’t even given the grace of going out with him, she should count herself lucky.

After swallowing the bitter medicine, he let out a sigh and leaned on the sink, “What the fuck am I thinking?”, he muttered under his breath. He let out another sigh and lifted his head up, taking in his reflection. He felt utterly disgusted with himself for thinking like a fucking douchebag and cheating on the one thing that was actually good in his life. “Fuck”, he yelled as his fists flew right into the mirror, “Dammit”, he hissed in pain as blood gushed out of his newly achieved injury.

He rushed back into the room, trying to stop his fist from bleeding and trying to calm his beating heart. Suddenly, he started panting heavily, trying to fill his lungs with air but the pipe what blocked and his head started to feel incredibly light. He pushed open his drawer with his uninjured hand and rummaged through it, “Where the fuck is it?”, he wheezed out, he was sure that he had almost five in that particular drawer.

His hand suddenly held unto the plastic tube and he quickly moved it to his mouth, pressing on the top repeatedly until he could feel himself breathing properly again. Once done, he took a deep breath and threw the custom made inhaler on his bedside table, he stared at the only remedy to his illness with hate, because of it, he could not do a lot of things he wanted to do, like sports- he had a dream of playing professional football when he was younger but, the fact that he was born with asthma was brought to light and just like that, all his dreams faded away.

So, he found another dream; chasing women and ‘nature photography’. Of course, he wasn’t born a player, it was having his hopes and dreams crushed that triggered his reckless behavior- that was always his excuse. He would go on and on about having asthma and not being able to fulfill his wishes or do sports or that screwing around was a sport on its own. He would also state that playing girls was similar to playing football, after all, they both dealt with tossing around an object.

A knock on the door brought him out of his shallow thoughts, “Come in”, he called out and was utterly shocked to see that it was Tessa, he could not find any words to say to her, what was he supposed to say? ‘Tessa, I cheated on you last night after our argument’? Definitely and absolutely not. “Hi”, he said, darting his eyes away from her as the guilt that had somehow vanished came back a hundred times worse than before,

“Hi…”, her eyes widened as she took in his bloody fist and shirt, “Oh my God, Alex, what did you do?”, she rushed over to him and examined his hand, “Why are there pieces of glass in it?”, dropping his hand, she rushed to the bathroom,

“Be careful”, he called after her.

She nodded at him and went into the bathroom, surprised to see the less than half of the mirror hanging helplessly on the wall, “Damn Alex”, she walked past the glass and made a mental note to clean it up later. She made her way to the cabinet where she had seen the first aid box and grabbed it, heading back to the room. She couldn’t help but feel guilty that he had hurt himself because of her, she was a terrible person and she did not deserve him.

She should have trusted him, she shouldn’t have believed anything that came out of Gabriel’s hateful mouth, he would say and do anything that would make his own blood unhappy- Gabriel O’Connell was a terrible person and she wished for him to burn in hell for trying to come in between her and Alex.

She sat beside him on the bed and took his injured hand in hers, “What were you thinking?”, she asked as she cleaned him up,

“I was a jerk to you”, he muttered, still trying to avoid her eyes,

“No”, she declined quickly, “I should have trusted you; you haven’t given me a reason not to and I overreacted the issue, I am sorry and I know you would never hurt me”, she pressed her lips unto his and his guilt went from hundred to a million within the second, he shut his eyes tightly as he warned his conscience against telling her the painful truth and giving her a reason to never trust him again and or worse, leave him. “I love you”, that was the spot, she had just hit the bulls eye.

He moved away from her, knowing that what he was about to say would ruin everything between them, but he would rather he tell her than someone else, “Please, do not say that”, he ran his uninjured hand through his hair in frustration,

“What? That I love you? Why not?”, she looked at him incredulously but still had an unwavering smile on her face,

“Because, I do not deserve it, Tess”, he yelled, “I am a bad, damaged person who doesn’t deserve love from you or any other person”,

“Stop saying such things”, she said to him,

“I cheated on you”, he yelled and watched as her smile turned upside down.

“Is this some kind of sick joke? Because, if it is, it is not funny”, she exclaimed with a frown, tears watering her eyes, “Do not play with me like this”, she stood on her feet and walked closer to him, “Please”,

“I am so sorry, Tess. I don’t know what entered me, I was drunk and she was there, touching me. I wish I could make it up to you in anyway”, maybe there was still hope for them,

“Make it up to me?”, she screamed at him, “What the fuck do you even mean by that?”,

“I fucked up, okay? Big time and I would wish to make it up to you”, he shrugged his shoulders and tried to move closer to her,

“You take a step closer to me and this box would end up on your skull”, she warned as she walked to his closet to take some of her stuff that she had left there over time.

“Tess, what are you doing?”, he began to panic, and moved towards her to stop her from completely packing her stuff,

“I’m taking my shit, since I am clearly not enough for you, also, do not call me Tess”, she slammed his closet door shut and walked to the main door,

“Please Tessa”, he begged and held unto her hand but she was having none of it, she removed her hand from his,

“Please, do not make this harder on me”, a single tear fell from her eye, a tear she had tried so much to hold in, “Please, do not call me, this was all my fault, I should’ve known that changing someone like you only existed in books, I shouldn’t have tried”, she turned away from him and walked out of the room with her things in her hand.

She paused in the middle of the hallway and fell to the floor as tears washed over her, she could not believe that Alex had actually cheated on her after everything that had happened a day before, did he ever even like her? Was he just going to use and dump her like he did with the other girls?

She felt incredibly stupid for falling for a man like Alex O’Connell.