Nina

I floated on air lightheaded, and dizzy after what just happened. After Sarah, one of the girls I went to school with drug me away from Raff it didn’t take long for my panic to sink in. I had never been good with crowds, and if I don’t have anyone there whom I trust I tend to panic. I take comfort in being alone.The kids were simply happy for me, and wanted to congratulate me. After they gave me hugs, and convinced me to take a shot with them I excused myself, before running to the woods, to my hiding spot.
I want to be able to enjoy parties, but my fear is always too much for me to bear. Sometimes I see his face, and other times just someone touching me is enough to trigger the memories. I hide at the pond, because I love the night. The stars are beautiful, and never cease to remind me of how tiny we all are. I can stare at the reflection in the pool, and not have to strain my neck by looking up. I curled up in my usual spot, and looked into the inky depths of the pond before me wondering why I can’t heal myself from this fear of a man who is already dead. I remind myself every night when I go to sleep, and every morning when I wake up. I have to, or else I have a major panic attack. It was a suggestion from the therapist my parents got for me after they found out what his brother was doing. Before that I would wake up with nightmares, horrible memories of my past. It helps, but I hate having to live my life in fear. About that time I heard Raff approach, and sat me in his lap, and that's when I realized I was crying. I once again let my emotions overcome me, and I cried for the second time in my life in front of another. That is what led to the breathtaking kiss that had me floating on air back to the pack house. I held tight to Raff’s hand as I made a decision internally building my confidence as we walked to the elevator.
Once inside I turned to Raff with my cheeks burning. “I want you to stay in my room tonight...please, if that's something you’re okay with” I said breathily fidgeting with my hands. I felt his hand gently cup my face, and raise it to look him in the eye.
“I would love to” he whispered before gently kissing my forehead, and turning around to walk out the now open elevator doors leaving me scattered as I rushed out of the doors right before they closed, still amazed I just said that. Realizing Raff will be staying in my room tonight I panic, and run to my room quickly opening the door, and looking around, making sure it is presentable for company. Luckily I am a pretty clean person, so my room was clean. My next wave of panic when I thought about what to wear. I ran to the closet, and threw open my dresser, and sifted through the clothes. I eventually decided I had no cute pajamas, and settled for a baggy shirt, and an old pair of shorts. Making a mental note to go shopping with tess for cute pajamas. Going to the bathroom I pulled my hair out of its pony, and began brushing my teeth when I heard a knock on the door. Realizing he was here I rushed to the door forgetting I was brushing my teeth, and opened the door for a stunned looking Raff. I stood there confused as to why he was looking at me like that when I felt the wetness around my mouth, and my eyes widened in horror as I quickly ran to the bathroom, and shut and locked the door before spitting out my toothpaste, and rinsing my mouth. Hearing Raff come in, and shut the door I muster the courage to call to him.
“Make yourself at home, there is a TV remote on my nightstand.” I don’t dare to move until I hear the TV turn on. Letting out the breath I was holding in I let the panic wash over me, and splash myself with water trying to give myself courage. It’s fine, you got this, he is your mate. Stop panicking, and just be yourself. I tell myself as I towel off my face before taking a look at myself in the mirror. Taking a deep breath, and placing the towel back on the counter I turn to open the door. I found Raff on the sheets of my bed sitting up against the headboard I designed myself. With his legs laid out over the blankets, and crossed at the ankles. I froze at the sight realizing he had taken off the shirt he was wearing when I let him in. He looked over from the TV, and saw my wide eyes flash from him to his shirt laying on my reading chair.
“Sorry, I can put it back on if it makes you uncomfortable, I just uh…don’t usually sleep with a shirt on.” He finished looking down sheepishly scratching the back of his neck with his hand. Realizing I was still staring I snapped myself out of it, and cleared my throat to respond.
“No, it's fine. I’m sorry for staring, I just-uh…” I chuckle nervously looking at the floor as a blush makes its way to my face slowly covering my body until I'm sure even my toes were as red as a tomato. I wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence, because what I had wanted to say was-
“Sorry for drooling over you, but you look good enough to eat.” Valarie chimed in at that moment making my face become impossibly more red, and I hear Raff get up from the bed, and realize I have just been standing in the bathroom door like an idiot turning fifty shades of red, and having dirty thoughts about my mate who is now making his way towards me. I close my eyes, take a deep breath to focus myself and calm down. I focus slowly, releasing my breath, and opening my eyes. Preparing to speak when Raff gently places his hand on my arm. Confused, I look up to him asking what he was doing with my eyes. He simply leaned down brushing his lips against mine before moving to my ear.
“If you keep acting this cute we might do something neither of us is ready for.” He whispered with a chuckle. A squeak left my mouth as I quickly ran to escape his hold, throwing myself on the bed, and throwing the blankets on myself to cover up. I hear his laughter, and feel a heat pool in my lower abdomen. I curse myself for this idea I had. I feel the bed dip low, and Raff gently pulls the blankets off of my face smiling down at me with an amused look in his eye.
“You can’t hide forever, little goddess.” He whispered, whipping hair from my face before gently turning it to look at him. “Not from me at least.” He whispered while his thumb gently ran across my cheek. Looking into his eyes I see sincerity there, and it gives me courage to lean forward and kiss him. I pour my fears and insecurities into the kiss, along with the burning desire I feel for him. I immediately feel the hand on my face travel to the back of my head, and his hand tighten in my hair. I gasp at the force, and he takes advantage to quickly plunge his tongue in, and begin exploring my mouth. I let him take control as I grab his lip between my teeth, and gently bite. I hear Raff let out a low growl as he quickly throws the rest of the blankets off of me. Positioning himself on top of me he gently lowers himself on top of me being sure not to let his full weight down. Angling my head up to give him better access he breaks the kiss leaving me gasping for breath as he trails kisses gently down my neck. Stopping when he got to my collar bone , and making his way back up stopping at one spot to graze his teeth. Eventually he will mark me there, and the feel of his teeth grazing, and nipping that sensitive skin had my back arching as I gasped for breath. Raff looks at my face, and gives a wicked grin that makes a wetness pool between my legs.
“Oh I'm going to love seeing you in bliss.” Raff said as he placed a much more loving kiss on my lips gently. Smiling down at me with joy he begins to lift himself off of me. “For now though we should sleep. I know you're not ready yet.” His words surprised me, because I wasn't sure if I was ready or not. Turning off the light Raff turned off the lights, and crawled in bed while I laid there wondering if I was ready or not. It was a question I hadn;t even thought to ask before.