51. Streaming Hot Dream
“I want to sleep with youh.”
My breath hitches. There is a jolt in my heart and my fear spring to life. Panic bubbles up within me as he draws his fingers back to my ribs, like casually counting each bone.
*He wants to sleep with me! He wants to fuck me like a whore again. No, please god! Please..*
Tears spill out of my eyes and my chest aches with an effort to stay silent while he touches me gently.
*Yet, it burns me.*
“I wish I could sleep with youh.” Dakota murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper as if he is talking to himself.
I blink with a blunder of confusion and fear. His words even confuse my anxiety, and every reaction seems to momentarily pause in me.
“In this bed..” He continues.
“Whole night… peaceful-ly.” He sighs deeply, a sound that resonates with deep melancholy that I have never heard from him before.
The alcohol-induced honesty in his voice is strangely disarming. I lay there, eyes closed but with my mind wide awake, tracing his each word and trying to figure out the climate in his head.
“I want to paint youh.” Dakota whispers softly, brushing his fingers aimlessly over my arm.
“In black.” He says deeply, like sharing a secret.
A sense of deja vu washes over me with all the monstrous memories he gifted me, while he tries to wrap them up with his sweet words.
*How cruel of him to be so cruel, and then be so kind, only to be more cruel afterwards!*
“Noh!” Dakota suddenly exclaims, causing me to almost gasp out loud. “I want to paint you in coloursss.” He declares as if changing his mind at the last moment.
*What the hell is going on in his mental head?*
“In beauuutiful col-”
Suddenly, a shrill ring of his phone cuts through his words, making my skin jump out along with him.
“Fuckh!” Dakota growls, his voice resonates through my body as he hastily fumbles to answer his phone.
“What?” He hushes irritatingly at who ever called him. I remain still with my heart pounding in my ears.
“What do youh want?” He asks, getting up from the bed. I shut my eyes firmly in the play, as I feel his warmth gradually fading from my back, along with his dark presence.
*He is leaving!*
“What are youh my girlfriend?” Dakota scoffs before he staggers intoxicatingly out of the room, and shuts the door behind him.
* *Click* *
After countless shallow breaths, I open my eyes to the empty room. My fingers loosen their grip on the blanket and I let out a shaky breath, my sobs now free to escape.
The heaviness in my chest slowly vanishes with his presence and with shaky hands, I wipe the trail of tears from my face.
I feel scared, relieved and highly confused.
It is so hard to believe that he is the same man who violently abused my body and now claiming that he missed me.
*What part did he even miss exactly?*
Fucking me and calling me with degrading words, or is it the taste of my salty tears that he is missing!
And what does he mean by *‘I want to sleep with you..’*? Isn’t that his routine regardless of my consent?
I twist and turn on the cold bed with all the thoughts rolling over my head like a whirlwind. I should have not slept the whole day because now, my eyes and my mind refuse to shut down.
I raise my hand and look at the watch, it blinks 1:47 AM. I twist my wrist and stare at the sketch of two cuddling cats he had drawn on my palm.
*‘I wish I could sleep with you..’*
Why did he say that when he clearly sleeps with me every night?
I still feel his ghostly fingers on my body and his voice ringing in my head, telling me how badly he wants me.
But I know too well the harsh reality of the morning when he will wake up. His eyes, once again, will be filled with revenge and his heart will forget what softness is.
These words will be long forgotten when the alcohol will wear off from his system and soon, he will return to his original beast form.
There is a strange tightness in my chest and a familiar uneasiness tightens in my stomach- it’s that peri-peri pizza calling me.
Dizziness makes my legs wobble as I walk on the cold marble that pricks through my feet. I do not care to cover my naked body, as there is nothing really left to hide now. I was robbed off my dignity long ago.
Lights glow with my every step as I lead myself downstairs to the kitchen. *To my pizza.*
My swollen eyes widen at an unexpected sight. There, next to pizza, sits a box of chocolate cupcakes. *Am I hallucinating?*
That brute ordered cupcakes for me, a shocking surprise that leaves me further confused about his odd behaviour. He is like a mix blunder of chaos and romance.
I microwave pizza while I relish on my chocolate cupcake, thinking how the fuck he even got so drunk that he wanted to kiss me, the girl who put him behind the bars!
Clearly, he wouldn’t have let himself get drunk at the inauguration party, as he is too cautious about his reputation.
I lift the iPad resting on the countertop and type his name in the browser. Search results roll on the screen with the latest article about his software inauguration uploaded four hours ago.
With a quick tap, I click on the link and pictures fill the screen. I hold my breath as I see him, striking as ever, staring at the screen while standing beside a woman as stunning as him.
A sinking feeling weighs down my heart and suddenly the taste of pizza turns bitter on my tongue as soon as I notice his hand resting comfortably on her waist- An intimate gesture typically reserved for someone very close.
Suddenly, the iPad feels too heavy to hold and I set it down. An uncomfortable tightness settles in my chest with a disturbing thought spiralling my mind.
Just because I was sick, he wouldn’t go out to fuck another girl, right?
*Right?*
My throat chokes as I gulp down the pizza forcefully, while adding all the unpleasant scenarios in my head.
*What if he already has a girlfriend and I am just a secret affair?*
*Whore..* My mind whispers.
*Is that why he came back drunk to me for sex, because he couldn’t satisfy his needs with her?*
*And was that the same woman on the phone, calling him out so late?*
I get frustrated as the pizza couldn’t answer any of my questions. I dump the empty box, feeling a sense of disgust at the man who ordered me my favorite pizza.
*Fuck it! I don’t care whom he sleeps with.*
I wrap my arms around myself in a safe cocoon as I stomp my feet angrily on the stairs of the cruel, promiscuous king who might have warmed beds than I have had pizzas in my life.
*Pathetic!* That’s what he is.
Suddenly, my feet stop dead in my tracks as I notice a red light seeping through the slight open gap of Dakota’s unclosed door. My heart thrusts insanely as it recognises those red hues.
It is the same seductive lights that AI changed while I was dancing for him on the first night.